Judges are like umpires. Umpires don’t make the rules. They apply them. The role of an umpire and a judge is critical. They make sure everybody plays by the rules. But it is a limited role. Nobody ever went to a ballgame to see the umpire. — Justice John Roberts
Yes! The joke was a bad one, and Rittenhouse Kenosha County Judge Bruce Schroeder is an equally bad joke. But was the courtroom jocularity about potentially late-arriving Asian food really racist? Was it really the stuff of those parents-basement-dwelling hot-pocket-eating Cancel Culture dreams?
I’ll save you all the suspense…NO IT WASN’T!
The problem is, unlike Justice Roberts’ apt depiction of the best men and women in black, Judge Schroeder is a showboat who fervently believes the bench is his stage and his courtroom’s a theater. And as he just discovered, it’s one thing to be a grandstander in those southern Wisconsin backwoods, but it’s entirely another to be exposed as a judicial jerk on a national scale.
So, now folks who think Rittenhouser should be buried under the jail (he should be) are looking for any way to relegate the 76-year-old buffoon to history’s dustbin. It’s not that I disagree with their intent – Schroeder desperately needs to be “retired,” but I do take issue with the way the general sweaty public is trying to “retire” him.
Though it’s not at all unusual, Schroeder has a particular penchant for excoriating the attorneys who ply his courtroom. Apparently the Judge’s mother never taught him that you shouldn’t do something just because you can.
Then, on Veterans Day, when a witness identified himself as a veteran, Schroeder ordered the entire courtroom to stand and applaud. As former federal and state prosecutor Michael Stern Tweeted, “I’m horrified at Schroeder’s untethered bias and unprofessionalism.”
Me too!
But the most telling tale about this courtroom jackass is “Bruce The Terrible” as he’s known, has been SOJ’ed so many times that Kenosha had to bring in an out-of-county judge just to pick up the slack. To put that in perspective, as miserable a human being Kane County Judge John Dalton truly is, even he hasn’t been SOJ’ed nearly that much.
For reference purposes, in American jurisprudence both the defense and the prosecution can request a different judge, no questions asked, before the trial process begins in earnest. And when you consider the inevitable circus this trial has become, I cannot for the life of me understand how those prosecutors were stupid enough to let Schroeder proceed.
It would seem that Kenosha County doesn’t actually check to be sure their prosecutors have a law degree before bringing them on board.
But getting back to Judge Schroeder, I wish I could tell you this brand of courtroom bombast was a rarity, but it’s not. The 16th Circuit has any number of judges who believe they’re the show and the attorneys and juries are nothing more than an audience. Those fine folks are:
- Judge Kevin Busch who’s even worse than Schroeder
- Judge Joe Grady who should’ve retired 30 years ago
- Judge Sandra Parga who can’t even spell the words “courtroom comportment”
- Judge Divya Sarang who’s just a mean and nasty person
- And the aforementioned John Dalton who makes Sarang look like Mother Teresa
Of course, the worst of the bunch is Judge Keith “The Unpleasant…” I kid the world’s tallest judge. (But I am watching, so watch your step, Your Honor!)
To be fair, on the flip side, Kane County boasts some stellar judges who actually understand the Justice Roberts quote applied at the beginning of this piece. They are:
- Judge Keith Johnson
- Judge D. J. Tegeler
- Judge Elizabeth Flood
- Judge Rene Cruz (Please vote for him for Illinois Supreme Court)
- Judge Bradley David
- Judge Julia Yetter
- Judge Susan Clancy Boles (though she has many other issues)
- Judge Clint Hull
- And the Judge who should be teaching courtroom comportment classes, Bill Parkhurst
If your name isn’t on either list, count your lucky stars because it means one of three things:
- I haven’t seen you in action
- I’ve seen you in action, and while you’re nothing to make the folks write home, you still haven’t managed to make the naughty list.
- You’re too new to make a determination (Judges Campbell and Valdez).
So, let’s get back to Schroeder courtroom standup routine. Apparently worried that the jurors’ lunch would be late, the Judge quipped, “I hope the Asian food does not come … is not on one of the boats along Long Beach Harbor.”
Ba dump bump!
Of course, as is par for the course, the Asian posse, who’ve NEVER stood up for another social, ethnic, or racial group in their overly long lives, descended upon the Schroeder like a rural high school football team on a dim sum breakfast.
Mother of Pearl Jam! It was just a bad and inappropriate courtroom about the supply chain issues dominating the headlines that had absolutely nothing to do with Asians. Is there some sort of Asian tardiness stereotype I’ve managed to miss along the way? I don’t know about you, but I’ve always found Chinese restaurants to be quite prompt.
C’mon! Everyone knows its’ blacks and Hispanics who are congenitally late.
The bottom line? If that’s the worst kind of “bigotry” a 76-year-old Caucasian judge from flippin’ Kenosha Wisconsin can come up with, then he’s doing alright – at least in that regard.
Some of you (and most judges) really need to get over yourselves!
