Quick Hits – August 16, 2019

It appears as if Friday is becoming our tie-up-loose-ends day, so let’s continue with that reasonable motif!

 

Pro se plaintiffs get no love!

It has come to my attention that more than one you bleeps refuse to believe that I’m doing my own legal work. Why, some scurrilous cads even went as far as accusing me of having a legal ghost writer.

Silly people! Attorneys don’t do shit for free!

It may be true that most of my friends are attorneys and I frequently rely on their sage counsel, but from the FOIA appeal letter right on down to my recent motion in that lawsuit against the Kane County State’s Attorney, I am the sole author of every one of those documents.

Courtroom KC

Did I discuss my proposed appeal to overturn the KCSAO FOIA denial of 255 pages of sexual harassment complaints against just one former prosecutor with attorney Jeff Meyer? Of course I did! I do the same thing with the occasional column contention, too. Did the same Mr. Meyer add one paragraph to that three-page argument? Yes, he did!

Since I only play an attorney on TV, it’s nice to have someone who’s fluent in citing precedent. If you re-read that Attorney General appeal letter, I’d be willing to bet that you could pick out that single paragraph as our writing styles are materially different.

But the rest is all Jeff Ward, as is the complaint itself.

Once provided with a FOIA denial lawsuit template, it wasn’t very difficult to adapt it to my purposes. Sure! It took about a day and a half to get a handle on the build-a-foundation and step-by-step legal writing style, but it certainly ain’t rocket science.

Have you seen most Kane County attorneys work?

And the cool thing is, whether it’s a complaint, a motion, or any other court contention, they all follow an identical format.

Once the complaint was complete, a paralegal friend found a few typos and an attorney made two small additions/corrections. So, now I know that “supra” is the lawyer equivalent of “ditto.” I guess that’s what they go to law school for.

The motion to move things along proved to be a little more challenging because there was no specific example out there. But with Mr. Meyer kindly providing a five-sentence outline of the appropriate line of legal logic, that took a mere 30 minutes.

But the best argument in defense of my new-found jurisprudential capacities is that, with one notable exception, I’ve never met an attorney who can write, but I can! Oh! They can put words on paper, but owning a pen certainly doesn’t make you a writer.

I’d further stipulate that, aside from the vast pay disparity, the opinion columnist’s and attorney’s job descriptions are virtually the same. Through an argument built on a solid evidentiary foundation, we do our damndest to persuade our target audience to embrace our point of view.

With me, it’s the rabble, while an attorney has to convince a judge or jury.

Lastly, when it’s time to make our case before Kendall County Judge Melissa Barnhart, I’ll be the one standing at the plaintiff’s podium. And that argument is just about ready to go.

Though it’s somewhat infuriating, in the end, it’s quite a compliment that so many Kane County attorneys refuse to believe that I could produce those documents. Who needs law school?

 

The Sheriff and I settled!

Now that I’m down to one lawsuit, I’m not quite sure what I’m gonna do with myself!

Though we were already close, what spurred Kane County Sheriff Ron Hain and I to come to terms through a series of texts (who needs attorneys?) was Chief Judge Susan Clancy-Boles’ propensity to move any case involving yours truly out of Kane County.

Even if that weren’t the case, the 16th Circuit wasn’t about to hear a lawsuit between a journalist and a sitting Sheriff. Neither Ron nor I were looking forward to traveling to Kendall, DeKalb or DuPage County for the plethora of appearances a civil case demands, either.

But the point I really want to make is, throughout the negotiation process, not only were Ron and I civil, but we remained and still are very good friends. In the grand scheme of things, a dispute over campaign management fees is nothing to get completely bent out of shape about. We simply followed the general rules for resolving a financial disagreement and it worked out exactly as it should have.

I told Ron I only wanted to nail him when he deserved it, and given past history, I’m convinced he’ll provide me with me with plenty of opportunities to do so. And he agreed! In fact, if attorney Jeff Meyer could type opposing counsel’s email address correctly, this issue would’ve been resolved a couple of weeks ago. Goddam attorneys!

All kidding aside, I want to thank Mr. Meyer for so deftly handling this issue, Tim McLean of Clingen, Callow and McLean for understanding this wasn’t an MMA cage match, and Shaw Media for their even-handed coverage of the story.

As my crazy mother used to say, “Onward and upward!”

 

Quick Hits – Women Ruin Everything!

It’s true! Women are generally mean and spiteful creatures who, like vampires, love to suck the fun out of absolutely everything. I’m convinced it’s an evolutionary adaptation such that, after they temporarily sublimate those tendencies just long enough to woo us into marriage with their feminine wiles, they immediately commence to making our lives so miserable we wouldn’t even consider a furtive glance at another female.

What man could possibly cope with the unbridled “joy” of having two women in their lives?

The irony of course is, after they fatten us up and wear us down with years of mental torture and fashion advice, unhappy with their handiwork, they leave us for the Neanderthal they just met at Jiffy Lube who treats them like absolute crap.

Then it’s rinse, lather, and repeat!

Why am I going off on this too typical Jeff Ward rant, you ask? Because the Chicago Tribune just ran another insipid female-superheroes-are-sexist-skanks article authored by Naomi Darom, a doctoral student in sociology and gender at Northeastern University in Boston.

I should’ve known!

Only someone who’s spent the better part of their lives on an ultra-liberal east coast college campus, where they create fictitious realities like “microaggressions” and “cultural appropriation,” could actually believe that female superheroes are a social threat.

C’mon! A Ph.D. in “sociology and gender?” She’s gotta be making that up. I’d hate to see that ridiculous student loan balance.

With the caveat that she has eyes for Chris Evans’ Captain America, Ms. Darom postulates that while the Hulk is big and green, the Thing is “basically a pile of rocks,” and Thor completely let himself go in ‘Avengers Endgame,’ all the hot, “double-D” superheroines must have had at least two ribs removed to have waists like that.

She cites Gal Gadot (Wonder Woman), Scarlett Johannson (Black Widow), and Brie Larson (Captain Marvel) as examples of this dastardly double standard.

Like I said, women ruin everything.

Black Widow

To be fair, I’m not sure why Supergirl has to wear a micro mini-skirt, Black Widow needs a pushup bra, or Zoe Saldana requires a skin-tight outfit. Perhaps it’s to distract the bad guys while they kick their asses.

But don’t tell me that every last one of you women don’t wonder exactly what’s in the Hulk’s pants as you lament whatever laws of comic book physics permit them to expand while his shirt completely vaporizes. And, trust me, if a shirtless Chris Hemsworth comes on the silver screen, my wife wouldn’t take the time to spit on me if I was on fire.

But here’s what Ms. Darom, and most women, completely fail to understand.

My favorite day of the week is Wednesday. No! It’s not because it’s Prince Spaghetti day, it’s because it’s new comic book release day. And as soon as I complete this column, I’ll eagerly head over to Graham Crackers Comics in St. Charles, Illinois, (Bricher and Randall) to pick up this week’s offerings.

But my unmitigated Wednesday glee involves much more than just the latest ‘Batman Detective’ issue. I look forward to talking about the plotlines with Dan, Sean, Sam and any fellow customer who might happen to be hanging around the counter at the time.

It’s kind of a like an alcohol-less Cheers where everybody knows your name. And just like they did on that vaunted TV show, we tend talk about stupid stuff like what’s the sweatiest gladiator movie. Our latest deliberations involve how the eyes on the full-size Brie Larson cardboard cutout eerily seem to follow you around the store.

Who knew a 5-foot, 7-inch woman could be so scary?

But while the comic book clientele isn’t quite as over-the-top as ‘The Big Bang Theory’ would have you believe, it’s not that far off, either. I know I’m gorgeous, but let’s just say that most of those men probably don’t get a lot of feminine attention – no double standard there, right ladies? And I’m still somewhat surprised whenever a woman walks into that store without children.

So, when someone like Ms. Darom starts bitching about unrealistic female superheroes, it inevitably comes off as some ivory towered bleep trying to take away one of the last bastions of collective male absurdity. Isn’t having to endure female sportscasters bad enough? (With the clear exception of Kelly Crull.)

And while we’re at it, why don’t we talk about romance novel covers! We certainly don’t buy that stuff. They’re emblazoned with ridiculously rippled men with long flowing manes who passionately gaze at their women in the most awkward embraces imaginable. First, you’d think they’d made men’s shirts illegal in the romance novel world, and second, if I bent my wife over backwards to kiss her like that, I’d be looking at a double hernia operation.

Why don’t those publishers portray something much more realistic like Fabio getting smacked in the face by a goose on a rollercoaster ride?  (Yes! That actually happened!)

The bottom line is, not everything has to involve social justice. I’d simply ask Ms. Darom to tell her daughter that most women don’t look like a digitally enhanced Ms. Johannson, just as most men don’t nearly resemble Mr. Evans. Just enjoy the bleepin’ movie!

Problem solved!

Meanwhile, my male compatriots and I will be more than happy to let you have your book clubs, bridal showers, and spa dates, but we’re gonna keep our female superhero fantasies because female superheroes are just that, fantasies!

God! It’s hard to be a liberal these days!

Quick Hits – August 12, 2019

Our local political system is prone to a couple of quirks that really annoy me in that they fail to bring balance to the electoral force. Since an example of both events has recently come to pass, I thought it was time to have a discussion about them!

 

Teacher’s unions shouldn’t be allowed to support school board candidates

This phenomenon reared its ugly head is the 2019 Geneva D304 school board race where the Geneva Education Association poured $12,500 into their three handpicked candidates’ campaigns. That backing came primarily in the form of mailers featuring the entire slate.

The only reason one of the union-backed candidates lost is board incumbent Mike McCormick matched the GEA’s effort by pouring almost $9,000 of his own money into three separate mailers.

GEA

The problem is, McCormick, the managing partner of a LaSalle Street law firm, is the exception that proves the rule. He’s that rare school board candidate who can count on virtually unlimited financial resources, while most will spend no more than two grand on a campaign, if that!

Yes! I understand unions pump all sorts of money into countywide and state rep/senate races, but that cash tends to be offset by competing financial interests that generally don’t weigh in on the school board level.

But more importantly, while that labor money is vastly diluted in a 200,000-voter county or 100,000-voter state senate district, it wields a singularly disproportionate effect in a meager 3,500 voter school district.

Then there’s the irony of the taxpayer covering teachers’ salaries, only to have that money turned against them in the form of union dues.

To be clear! I spoke with Ken Menzel, Lead Counsel of the Illinois State Board of elections and the GEA was well within their right to put their money where their mouth is. But the fact that something’s legal doesn’t it right.

If you recall our most recent First Ward theme, politics, like nature, abhors a vacuum. So, I would warn the GEA that if they continue to subvert the process this way, some group or wealthy individual will eventually rush in to level the playing field, or perhaps even tilt it against them.

Should they require my assistance, I’m already planning on supporting the three best non-union backed candidates in 2021 with cash and campaign management.

 

Should those who lose judicial elections subsequently be appointed judge?

Now, I’m not nearly as adamant as one of my regular readers who firmly believes that associate judges who lose a circuit election should resign their position. Since, all associate judges are appointed, I don’t see any problem with the runner up retaining their seat.

To wit, Associate Judge Marmarie Kostelny lost to D. J. Tegeler in 2014, but she currently presides over Kane County Drug Court, and from what I hear, she’s doing a good job.

For the electoral novice, circuit judges are those who, at some point, had to win a countywide or districtwide election. Then they run for retention every six years. Meanwhile, associate judges are appointed by the circuit judges, they serve at their behest, they make a little less money, and they are on call some evenings and weekends.

The bottom line is, most associate judges want to move up to the circuit level for the perks and job security. As we’ve previously discussed, it’s virtually impossible to remove a sitting circuit judge.

To be fair, appointments aren’t uncommon at any political level. If an elected official steps down with less than half their term remaining, someone will be appointed to finish it. But those appointments happen with a far greater frequently in the circuit court realm.

To wit, Kane County Associate Judge Elizabeth Flood lost her 2018 circuit run only to be appointed to fill Judge Bob Spence’s seat when he retires to run for Kane County State’s Attorney in October. And Spence himself was appointed after he lost his first 16th Circuit judicial race.

Flood

Judge Elizabeth Flood

Spence did win his race (it’s much easier to win when you’re the incumbent), and Flood will have to repeat that feat in 2020. But when you consider her abysmal 2018 campaign, she’s bound to have some real competition, and if she loses this race, she’s out of a job – unless she gets appointed again.

But what really bothers me about this judicial process is, though it’s not the case with Spence and Flood, the timing of these retirement is often suspicious. Circuit judges tend to step down in such a way that provides a protégé with a leg up.

For example, former Kane County Judge David Akemann retired at the last minute which greatly shortened the potential campaign season giving his chosen candidate the opportunity to prepare their ground game months before anyone was aware of the vacancy.

But that potential candidate couldn’t keep their mouth shut and everyone knew about the plan and prepared accordingly. Former Elgin State Senator Michael Noland eventually won that seat in 2018.

And speaking of the bizarre Mr. Noland, there is another irony here.

Though he was appointed, Spence turned out to be a stellar judge. Flood, who now has been appointed both associate and circuit judge, has her moments, but where she truly excels is in the comportment department, something you can’t say about most 16th Circuit judges.

Meanwhile, Noland and Judge John Dalton, both elected, are horrific judges generally loathed by their counterparts as indicated by their abysmally low peer ratings.

So, while I’m not too fond of this process, my fear is, as judicial races become more and more politicized, the rabble will continue to elect idiots, something that seems to be their specialty.

I’m gonna have to think about it for awhile – and I’m open to suggestions – but there’s gotta be a better way of choosing the men and women in black.

The Last Day of Summer Vacation!

With my wife heading back to East Aurora this morning and most of the rest of y’all starting school next week, I thought it would be appropriate to bring out what may well be my favorite piece of prose.

The late, great Pulitzer Prize winning Chicago columnist Mike Royko penned this passage as his beloved Daily News was about to go belly up.

Sundown

I too, adored summer vacation with all the sports, friends, and miniature wargame battles. I’m not a very nostalgic person, but those summer vacations are still some of the best memories of my life. And as someone who absolutely abhorred the specter on an impending school year, I still get goosebumps whenever I read this passage:

When I was a kid, the worst of all days was the last day of summer vacation, and we were in the schoolyard playing softball, and the sun was down and it was getting dark. But I didn’t want it to get dark. I didn’t want the game to end. It was too good, too much fun. I wanted it to stay light forever, so we could keep on playing forever, so the game would go on and on.

That’s how I feel now. C’mon, c’mon. Let’s play one more inning. One more time at bat. One more pitch. Just one? Stick around, guys. We can’t break up this team. It’s too much fun.

But the sun always went down. And now it’s almost dark again.

 

Quick Hits – August 8, 2019

Let’s fix some errors and tie up some loose ends today! And I’ll be posting this a bit earlier than usual because I’m taking my wife to the movies on this, her last day of summer vacation. She’ll be back teaching middle school math in East Aurora on Monday. Talk about an early start!

Ooops!

I want to offer a pat on the back to former reporter Pan Demetrakakes and one of my favorite blog commenters for quickly noting that I confused Illinois’ 49th State Senate District with the similarly numbered State Rep District.

Villa

Thus, when I accused West Chicago State Rep Karina Villa of abandoning her constituents just one short year after being elected, I wuz wrong! When she inevitably throws her hat into the 25th State Senate ring, should she prevail, she will continue to represent her former district and more.

That said, this correction in no way absolves my contention that Villa will never be anything more than a follower, and the last thing Illinois needs is another Madigan lackey. To wit, I’m still looking for a moderate Republican candidate to run for that 25th District seat as we speak.

Meanwhile, I apologize to State Rep Villa for mischaracterizing her impending State Senate run.

 

Ooops! Part II

I’m kinda surprised no one caught this one! In the column regarding perennial candidate Corinne Pierog’s Kane County chairman run (Yikes!), I referred to two terrible Kane County Democratic candidates, but only covered one.

The second is none other than current board member Theresa Barriero, who recently announced her intention to seek the Democratic nomination for Circuit Clerk.

Before we continue, please allow me to stipulate that Theresa is a hoot, I love her as a person, and I would buy her a beer anytime she asked. But she’s a complete train wreck as an elected official, never managing to quite comprehend the vagaries of the political process. And she’s so vehement in her misunderstanding that it can make it very difficult for the County Board to get anything done.

Barriero

The prefect example of this phenomenon is how she made last year’s probation workers strike far worse than it had to be. She doesn’t understand the need for County offices to stick to a budget, she doesn’t understand the limitations the Internal Control Statute imposes, and she completely ignores any and all political realities.

The perfect example of our last point is the fact she’s currently running for Circuit Clerk! Oh! Sweet mother of Pearl Jam! The four most difficult Kane Countywide propositions are as follows:

  1. County Clerk (elections)
  2. Circuit Clerk (millions of pages of court paperwork and judges’ egos)
  3. Chairman and Sheriff (a tie)

And for someone to believe they can tackle that absurdly complex office without the prior experience of attorney or paralegal is a form of insanity to which I cannot begin to ascribe. It’s yet another indication of the vast dysfunction that consistently plagues the Aurora Democrats.

To put this in perspective, it would be a lot like Ruth Bader Ginsburg running for Pope. While I certainly like her, the fact that she’s a Jewish woman might turn out to be somewhat of an impediment.

Let’s all pray that Tom Hartwell runs again, or a candidate with the required background steps up.

 

Where’s Kelli?

When the press calls out a public official for their tendency to avoid coming into the office, they’ll typically issue some sort of silly excuse for those excessive absences and make a point of appearing in public at every possible turn.

But not Kane County Public Defender Kelli Childress. No! Though she did manage to make some recent symbolic Judicial Center appearances, you’d think her $150,000 a year job description primarily consisted of posting her latest Central American adventure on social media.

And people say I have no fear!

Since my sincere journalistic efforts have failed so miserably, I turned to my good friends in the dairy industry and they were all too happy to help out:

Milk Carton 2

So, if you somehow do run into Ms. Childress, please call the Public Defender’s Office at 630-232-5835. Who knows? There may even be a reward in it for you!

Quick Hits – Ya Gotta Love the Kane County “Justice” System

I’m really starting to regret my promise to keep you informed of the progress in my pending lawsuit against the Kane County State’s Attorney’s Office. It’s getting so convoluted I can barely keep track of it and I’m the plaintiff!

For background purposes, I filed a FOIA request for all sexual harassment complaints against one former prosecutor way back in October of 2018 and KCSAO Civil Division head, Joe Lulves, responded with 255 redacted pages. Well, he did give me one sentence! So, I appealed that FOIA denial to the Illinois Attorney General’s Office and, in mid-June, they ruled in my favor.

It should’ve ended there, but because State’s Attorney Joe McMahon firmly believes his office is above the law, the KCSAO generally refuses to abide the AG’s ruling.

Kane County Judicial Center

Kane County Judicial Center

So, I filed a lawsuit to force McMahon’s hand in mid-July, and the KCSAO turned it over to private attorney Pat Kinnally of, Kinnally Flaherty Krentz Loran Hodge & Masur. If I said the complaint was proceeding, it wouldn’t be completely inaccurate, but that might depend upon your definition of the word “proceeding.”

With the original status hearing set to October 31, and given the hurry-up-and-wait nature of civil cases, I filed a motion to move matters along which was set to go before Judge Kevin Busch on Thursday (8/8).

And that was the easy part. I would encourage you to get your scorecards out if you want to follow along from here.

On Monday afternoon, I received an email from opposing council that Chief Judge Susan Clancy-Boles, once again, unilaterally asked the Illinois Supreme court to move the lawsuit out of Kane County. This is the third time she’s pulled this BS due process violation on me and it’s really getting old.

What the Chief Judge is essentially saying is, if Jeff Ward is involved, every last one of the 27 16th Circuit judges completely lacks the capacity to set aside their personal proclivities and rule on a lawsuit based on its merit or lack thereof. Think about what that statement truly means.

One could argue that, given my regular coverage of our judiciary, they’re trying to avoid the appearance of impropriety, but recusing an entire circuit is like trying to kill a gnat with a cruise missile. I’m sure there’s more than one Kane County judge who’s never heard of me before.

Unless the judge has a personal connection and moves first, a recusal is typically up to the plaintiff or respondent. And our judges hear lawsuits against the KCSAO all the time, so that’s certainly no excuse, either.

The problem with this venue shift was, neither I nor opposing council received any paperwork to back it up. It’s just another sign of Bole’s vast arrogance. Since the men in black tend to get kinda surly when you miss a court date without a note from Epstein’s mother, I informed court administrators I would be showing up on Thursday to argue my motion. Five minutes later, I received a copy of the Illinois Supreme Court order:

16th Circuit Mass Recusal

Now, I really thought about challenging it, but that would mean filing another motion with the Illinois Supreme Court to reconsider the move, because only they can grant or revoke the Chief Judge’s request.

The basis for that motion would’ve been that Boles provided no evidence it was necessary, I was not officially informed until I asked for the paperwork, and we all  have the right to be heard by a judge we elected, or by a judge appointed by a judge we elected.

While that motion would’ve been an intriguing notion, it would entail travelling to Springfield only to have those Illinois Supreme Court justices flip me the collective bird and say, “We have the power to do this and if you don’t like it, there’s always the SCOTUS.”

Yeah! But the U.S. Supreme Court takes a dim view of pro se litigants, and after all that effort, I’d have absolutely nothing to show for it other than setting the lawsuit back for a year or more.

Still frustrated that Kane County judges flee at the mere sight of my gleaming visage, I turned to my crack team of legal advisers who told me, much like my longsuffering wife, the 16th Circuit wants less than nothing to do with me. It would seem my capacity to ferret out the truth makes them more than a little nervous.

But the irony of finally receiving the venue change paperwork was that it actually made matters worse! As you can see, the case was moved to 23rd Circuit Judge Melissa Barnhart’s courtroom, but the order stipulated the first court date would be held right here in good old Kane County.

But what was the first court date? Was it my motion to move things along on Thursday, or was it the first appearance before Judge Barnhart? And opposing counsel’s legal aide was just as confused as I was.

So, I turned to the only man in Kane County who could sort this out, Court Administrator Doug Naughton. He dutifully listened to this convoluted tale, actually understood it, and by end of business yesterday, he had procured a handwritten 23rd Circuit Court order striking all previous court dates. It further stipulated the first hearing will take place on August 26 at 1 p.m. in courtroom 110 in front of Judge Barnhart in the Kane County Judicial Center.

Here’s that order: 19MR833 Court Date Order

On that fateful day, two motions will be heard, my motion and Mr. Kinnally’s request for the Judge to personally review the sexual harassment documentation.

The irony there is, shortly after I filed it, Mr. Kinnally submitted his response to my complaint mitigating my need to move things along. For the truly masochistic among you, you can read his response right here:

KCSAO Lawuit Answer

Before you hit send, please remember that, unless a judge seals them, all court proceedings are public record.

As far as opposing counsel’s motion, I have absolutely no objection to the Judge reviewing those complaints because there isn’t a female attorney on the planet who hasn’t faced down multiple counts of sexual harassment. With some notable exceptions, male attorneys are always a fascinating proposition.

If you’ve managed to stay with me thus far, you’re all caught up. Put far more simply, Houston! We have lift off!

But if you’ve ever wondered why attorneys’ fees seem to add up so quickly, it’s because the system eats up time faster than a supermassive black hole. This lengthy 1,150 word column describes just two short days in the civil lawsuit process. Had I not been proceeding pro se, I’d hate to even think about that next law firm invoice.

In the end, I’m not sure if my continuing contention to keep you posted is more of a promise or a threat, but in the words of those great philosophers Modest Mouse, “We’ll all float on!”

Quick Hits – As the 25th State Senate District Turns

A great part of the reason I write is my firm belief in the American political process. If it truly was beyond hope, there’d be no point in trying to improve it. Sure! There will always be the inevitable pendulum swings, but if the press applies their craft correctly, they should be nothing more than mere speed bumps on the path to a higher ideal.

As the great Winston Churchill theorized in 1947, “Indeed it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.”

But that boundless faith is being sorely tested. This hyper-partisanship is getting old, the simmering bigotry of my Caucasian compatriots as prompted by the President is rearing its ugly head, and even the good guys seem prone to corruption.

To wit, I thought DuPage County State Senator Tom Cullerton wore a white hat until the Feds indicted him on what amounts to 39 counts of ghost payrolling. Heavy sigh! To be clear, he is innocent until proven guilty, but I wouldn’t be making any long-term plans if I were him.

But what really frosts my flakes is, whenever the political proceedings descend to this disastrously dysfunctional level, it becomes the kind of self-fulfilling feedback loop that brings out yet more bad candidates while the reasonable possibilities avoid running like the plague.

Which brings us right back to my 25th State Senate district! I wish I had good news, but let me tell ya, the current about-to-announce crop of candidates is nothing to make the folks write home.

It starts on the Republican side with perennial candidate Beth Goncher who’s racked up so many losses that she couldn’t win an election if she ran unopposed. Her claims to fame are being one of former State Rep Tim Schmitz’ legislative aides and sending yours truly a cease and desist order which didn’t phase me or my then Beacon-News editors in the least.

If you’re so thin-skinned that you can’t deal with a journalist, how the bleep are you going to effectively deal with the morass we refer to as Springfield? Add Ellen Nottke and Dennis Cook (massive eyeroll) as her campaign team and we’re talking another guaranteed loss.

That said, Goncher may actually prevail in the primary because, as it stands now, just when you thought the GOP candidate pool couldn’t possibly get any worse, it does! Yes! Wacky former U-46 School Board member Jeanette Ward’s announcement is equally imminent.

You remember Jeanette, right? She’s the board member who ignored her responsibility to the children by co-opting and turning that position into an ultra-right-wing platform. Her greatest hits include regular racist pronouncements, spitefully attacks on transgendered children, and warping the Christian religion into a cudgel she’d used to go after anyone who disagreed with her.

Ward 2

Jeanette Ward

The impetus behind Ward’s board seat win was an absurd Kane County Clerk tax error combined with former U-46 Board member Tracee Ellis’ regular reverse racism. Without those kinds of conservative “hot button” issues around to rile the faithful, she will go down in the same sort of electoral flames as she did in her massive 2019 school board loss.

The 25th may be conservative, but they’re not Louisiana conservative.

The view ain’t any rosier from the other side, either. Karina Villa, fresh off her 49th District State Rep win, Karina Villa will seek the Democratic nomination.

Though it’s not setting the bar too high, Villa is a far better candidate than Goncher or Ward, but it’s beyond disingenuous to promise to represent a constituency and then bail on them one short year later when something better comes along. Despite their vast ADHD, the voters tend to take notice of that kind of thing.

Though I lean Democratic, even I realize we don’t need to be sending any more Democrats downstate. Villa lacks the political intelligence, the backbone, and the capacity to keep promises that would allow her to rise above being just another cog in the Madigan machine.

Given the generally dismal Democratic 25th prospects, she’d most certainly lose against any decent Republican candidate, but Goncher and Ward are so underwhelming that, considering the impending 2020 Trump backlash, the Dems could certainly flip that district.

And that’s the last thing Illinois needs.

So, here I go again! Of the distinguished 219,999 25th Senate District denizens (I don’t count!), there’s gotta be at least one moderate Republican candidate who has the capacity to get something done. Please get ahold of me – it’s not that hard – and I will run your campaign for the eminently low friends and family rate.

C’mon! Can’t we do better than this? Trust me! It won’t take much of an effort to beat the other three.