Liberals 1…

conservatives 0! At least that’s how I score today’s Left, Right and You! But why take my word for it

Tom Cross

Tom Cross

when you can listen for yourself: 

Thanks to former Minority Leader and current Treasurer candidate Tom Cross for calling in and fielding some tough questions.

And for the last time, despite what Fox News says, even the President can’t fudge unemployment numbers. If conservatives don’t start making sense, they will quickly become obsolete.

Enjoy the show!


It’s time to give conservatives what for one more time…

…And that’s just what I plan on doing this afternoon on Left, Right and You from 3 to 4 p.m. On today’s edition Allen and I will:  left-right-and-you-allen-skillicorn-jeff-ward

  • Interview former House Minority Leader and current Treasurer candidate Tom Cross. We’ll ask him what happened to Illinois’ Republican party.
  • Why is it when conservatives attack the President, the truth doesn’t matter. From Fox News to Benghazi, we’ll talk about how this strategy will ultimately undo their cause.
  • Did the Obama Administration fudge unemployment before the big election? The short answer – No!

And your calls at 847-931-1410. Be there!

That hour goes by so bleepin’ fast…

…but don’t worry, you can replay the whole thing right here:  

Thanks to gubernatorial candidate State Sen. Bill Brady for calling and and providing his insights into  the biggest race in Illinois.

Bill Brady

Bill Brady

And Allen and both agreed that Paul Vallas was the best Lt. Governor pick yet! I don’t think it’s enough to put Quinn over the top, but it’s a great choice.

Of course, Allen and I did not agree on the whole Affordable Care Act at all, but I’m sure that comes as no surprise.

Enjoy the show!

My left foot is finally healed…

…so now it’s time to kick some conservative butt!

And I plan on doing just that on Left, Right and You, today, from 3 to 4 p.m. on AM1410. Allen and I will Elgin_Tower_Building_(Elgin,_IL)_01cover tough topics like:

  • When it comes to the Affordable Care Act did the President lie or did Fox News and Sean Hannity make him look like a rank amateur.
  • Paul Vallas jumps into the Lt. Governor’s race! I wouldn’t mind seeing him in the governor’s seat.
  • And speaking of governors, candidate Bill Brady joins the show.

We love your calls at 847-931-1410 so don’ t miss it!

No! It doesn’t have to be this way!

I continue to be consistently stunned by those historically challenged folks who, in response to some sort of sad revelation, inevitably respond with, “But it’s always been that way!”

For example, the fact that Chicago’s black ministers have been the biggest impediment to same-sex marriage in this state is beyond baffling because if anyone should understand the insidious effects of bigotry, it really oughtta be them.  incognito

Ain’t it odd how generally reasonable and rational people who readily decry attacks on civil rights marchers, would never treat women like second class citizens, and denounce school bullying at the drop of a hat, suddenly think that, by those very condemnations, their similar sins have been summarily forgiven?

So as I watch the NFL’s best do their damndest to absolve Miami Dolphins guard Richie Incognito of being beyond the caricature of a redneck bully, all I can do is shake my head in laugh.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the aforementioned footballs player’s latest travails which include, but aren’t limited to, leaving teammate John Martin the kind of racist and violent voicemail that would make a veteran Teamster blush. Claiming he was the target of repeated bullying, Martin left the team.

Sure enough! Incognito attempted to excuse the inexcusable with this; “All this stuff coming out, it speaks to the culture of our locker room, our closeness, our brotherhood. And the racism, the bad words, that’s what I regret most. But that’s a product of the environment.”

If this is the way he treats his friends, I wouldn’t recommend becoming an enemy.

Trust me, having both played and coached, I understand that whenever three or more males get together without female supervision, it’s likely to descend into an episode of the Three Stooges. I also understand that an NFL locker room is overflowing with testosterone and teams tend to bond through bizarre hazing rites of passage.

Oh and ladies, don’t get too far ahead of yourselves! Because whenever three or more of y’all get together, you come up with fascinating concepts like scoreless t-ball games where everybody wins because children have to feel good all the time!

But I digress.

So while I think Cubs’ tradition of making rookies carry the Hello Kitty backpack out to the bullpen is kind of silly, it beats the heck out of the liberal application of the “N” word. And call me crazy, but I can’t remember the last time I threatened to defecate in a coworker’s mouth.

When making your final determination here, I’d encourage you to consider Incognito’s rap sheet which includes being kicked off two college teams, being kicked off two NFL teams, being accused of molesting a female volunteer during a Dolphins golf outing, being convicted of assault, and punching out a hotel security guard.

Yeah! He’s a real bleepin’ teddy bear.

And please don’t even try to tell me the NFL doesn’t know exactly what’s going on because not only do they intentionally ignore it, they implicitly condone it. C’mon! Word on the street was Dophins’ coach Joe Philbin told Incognito to “toughen” Martin up.They were gonna let the whole thing go until the racist voicemail showed up.

I don’t give a flying bleep about that rarified NFL air and how tough you have to be to play football. Exactly how does that absolve anyone of the need to apply basic human decency?

And No! It doesn’t have to be that way because I’ve seen the opposite firsthand.

Let’s go back a few years to my brief tryout for the Geneva High School football team. Aside from their vast height and size, what immediately struck me about that team was the almost zen-like camaraderie.

Now, I’m sure they were on their best behavior because I was there, but there are some things you just can’t hide. It was clear to this veteran writer that, not only was there none of the bullying BS that’s de rigueur for so many sports teams, from star quarterback Matt Williams on down to the guy who hadn’t played a down in four years, respect ruled the day.

I’ll never forget Ben Rogers’ (son of GHS principal Tom) kindness in helping this nervous (then) 53 year-old hopeful out. He will go far in life. And talking with Mr. Williams about quarterbacking and his NIU future was also a blast. Talk about an unassuming kid with a boatload of talent.

It turned out to be one of the best days of my life.

And that attitude and comportment starts and ends with coach Rob Wicinski who won’t tolerate the kind of bleep that goes in the Dolphin’s locker room. You see, when properly administered, football can be the kind of endeavor that sets you up to succeed in life and makes you a better person. It really shouldn’t be something that turns you into a racist misogynist thug who will never be able to adjust to what the rest of us call reality.

Can you imagine Mr. Incognito coping with something as simple as working at your neighborhood McDonald’s? (He will soon be unemployed!)

Being an acute moron is not a prerequisite to winning football games. Contrary to Mr. Durocher’s “nice guys finish last” assessment, the Vikings acquit themselves well season after season.

Though I’m not a big fan of his style, while searching for a new manager, Cubs GM Theo Epstein said, “There has to be tough love, but there has to be love before there’s tough love.”


One Year of Left, Right and You…

with Allen and Jeff, that is! And you can listen to the anniversary show right here: 

We tackled topics like:

  • Jeff Ward runs for office
  • It’s time for conservatives to let go of gay marriage
  • Jeff would not vote for President Obama next time

And a thank you to listener Pete who always calls in with great comments or questions.  Enjoy the show!



Has it been a year aleady?

That’s right folks. The team of Skillicorn and Ward first flew solo on November 7, 2012! And now we’re more popular than Oprah!

To mark this glorious occasion please join us on WRMN AM1410 between 3 to 4 every Thursday for jeff-ward-allen-skillicorn-left-rightthe kind of political enlightenment you just can’t buy! On today’s show:

  • Jeff Ward runs for political office? Truth is indeed stranger than fiction.
  • Gay marriage comes to Illinois! I’m still waiting for the sky to fall.
  • So suddenly you can’t keep your own insurance? Say it ain’t so Barack!

And of course your calls at 847-931-1410. Don’t miss it!


Don we now our fun apparel?

I’m not sure which is worse! Hallmark’s utter capitulation into rightwing political correctness or the fact they’re bleepin’ marketing a bleepin’ Christmas ornament the bleepin’ day after Halloween. No matter how you shake it, it’s two crimes against humanity with the latter being far worse than the former.

Yes! In their infinite pasty white bread wisdom, the folks who love to put the exclamation point on Hallmark Controversial Ornamentthose special moments did just that! Their latest Christmas tree concoction consists of a tiny multi-colored sweater emblazoned with the lyric, “Don we now our fun apparel.”

“Fun” apparel?

I supposed in one sense they’re right. No self-respecting gay male would ever be caught dead in such garish garb. And if those brilliant Hallmark wordsmiths had quickly countered their critics with that sentiment, perhaps they could’ve gotten away with it. But no! Here’s their official semi-apologetic statement.

“We’ve been surprised at the wide range of reactions expressed about the change of lyrics on this ornament and we’re sorry to have caused so much concern,” a spokesperson said, “We never intend to offend or make political statements with our products, and in hindsight, we realize we shouldn’t have changed the lyrics on the ornament.”

Surprised? Really? A working Affordable Care Act website may be a surprise, but soliciting some serious pushback by abridging the lyrics of a 147 year-old Christmas carol while insulting gay people everywhere in the process certainly isn’t.

Apparently Hallmark doesn’t believe in marketing consultants or focus groups. C’mon! There are a plurality of people who go bleepin’ nuts if you’re foolish enough to wish ‘em a cheery happy holidays.

It’s that whole war on Christmas thing. You know, taking offense at the Wal Mart greeter’s greeting while you trample small children at 3 a.m. on Black Friday in a mad dash to buy that trendy new toy made from the sweat of Chinese slave labor.

That’s the real meaning of Christmas!

All that said, I do have to hand it to Hallmark because it takes real talent to completely hork off both the right and left at the very same time. I thought I was the only one who could do it.

Here’s the bottom line folks. If most of the straight males I’ve run into were smart enough to actually don their “gay” apparel (and shave and shower on a regular basis), perhaps their wives would be a bit more willing to put down that insipid copy of Fifty Shades of Gray and make the effort to wear matching socks worth their while.

“Don we now our fun apparel!” What’s next, Chest-family-Jewels Roasting on a Open Fire?