I’m using the word “doom” as in Mr. Santayana’s particularly prescient proposition that those who fail to pay attention will soon start feeling like they’re Bill Murray’s character in ‘Groundhog Day.’

And the whole “doomed to repeat it” dynamic is certainly a recurring First Ward theme.

To wit, we’ve discussed the pitfalls of candidates jumping into a crowded electoral field here, and that same topic figures prominently in my finally-to-be-released book, ‘So You Want to Win a Local Election?’

The perfect local examples of this too-many-choices phenomenon are the last three Elgin City Council races in which, with one notable exception, the four incumbents easily fended off three or more. The incumbent who did lose his seat had become somewhat of a lightning rod which can make or break you in a municipal election.

The bottom line is, if you give people too many choices, not only will they generally go with the devil(s) they know, but it depresses voter turnout which further favors the incumbents.

But even if there are no incumbents in the race, a crowded field will dilute the various campaign messages to the point where the crazier candidates automatically rise to the top. Look no further than the 2016 Republican primary where Donald Trump demolished 11 challengers who couldn’t find a way to offset his inherent lunacy.

Had there been just three or four contenders, Trump, who wasn’t even serious about running, would be nothing more than an afterthought.

And don’t give me that Lori Lightfoot won in a crowded Chicago mayoral field crap, either. She won by virtue of political lightning striking twice in three months. It was Alderman Ed Burke’s extortion charges and Jussie Smollett’s charges being dropped that did Toni Preckwinkle in.

So, having borne witness to what most pundits believed was an implausible impossibility, you’d think those 2020 Democratic presidential hopefuls would’ve learned something from that very strange primary.

Trust me! I understand the Democratic National Committee can’t unilaterally stop anyone from running, but one would think they could do a far better job of dissuading those candidates who really don’t have a shot in hell. But no! It would take less time to list the Democrats who aren’t running for president than those who are.

Let’s start with the candidates who have the best shot:

• Bernie Sanders
• Joe Biden – he will run
• Beto O’Rourke

Then there are those who can’t be counted out, but…:

• Elizabeth Warren
• Kamala Harris
• Cory Booker

I know, I know! Bill Clinton came out of a one percent polling nowhere, but Bill is imbued with a rare kind of charisma that 99 percent of candidates will never enjoy. So, these are the candidates who should waive the white flag right now:

• Pete Buttigieg – no one goes from mayor of South Bend to president
• Julian Castro – why is he running?
• Tulsi Gabbard
• John Delany
• Kirsten Gillibrand
• John Hickenlooper – perhaps if he changed his name
• Jay Inslee – who?
• Amy Klobuchar
• Wayne Messam – slavery reparations will never fly
• Tim Ryan – bad Dem last name
• Eric Swalwell – who squared?
• Andrew Yang
• Steve Bullock – he’ll run too
• Marianne Williamson – a new age loon fits right into this gaggle

That ain’t a presidential primary, it’s a soccer team!

If Biden OR Sanders was running, they have the political chops to storm out of the gate with the kind of momentum that would quickly narrow that massive field. But with both of them on the ballot, the race will likely devolve into the old versus young Democratic camps just like the Sanders-Clinton contest did.

And we all know how that ended!

Though it’s very unlikely, if the loon factor does come into play, then Williamson, a New Age “guru” who makes a living recycling 5,000-year-old truths, could make it even more fascinating. And that won’t be a good thing.

Just when I thought the Democrats were finally figuring out how to contend with Trump and his absurd Republican lackeys, they insist upon doing their damndest to hand him a second term on a silver platter.

The truth is, the current President notwithstanding, political miracles are few and far between. So, beyond our six contenders, those 16 also-rans should immediately bow out to serve the greater Democratic good – defeating Donald Trump.

As far as the local election scene goes, try to get some sense of who else might be running before you throw your hat in the ring – especially if it’s your first time out. The smallest campaign requires a lot of effort and it’s sad to watch good candidates embark upon that quest when they have absolutely no shot at winning.

Doomed to repeat it!

Oh lord! You’d a thunk the City of Elgin would’ve learned something from that whole ‘American Nocturne’ public art debacle, but no! Not only is the Elgin Cultural Arts Commission ill-advisedly commissioning art on utility boxes, but the City Council just gave the green light to businesses that want to place murals on their exterior walls.

And in their infinite wisdom, the Council put absolutely no restrictions on the mural content in that amended zoning ordinance, which, of course, begs the question, “What could possibly go wrong with that?”

Given my eminently magnanimous nature and my keen perception of the obvious, it’s time to offer yet more suggestions as to exactly what kind of art these downtown Elgin businesses might put on display:

1. A gaggle of irate Elgin parents storming the U-46 main office with torches and pitchforks as they demand a snow day whenever it’s under 32 degrees with an inch of snow.

2. A depiction of an empty polling place with sleeping judges of election as an homage to the vast number of Elginians who didn’t vote on April 2nd.

3. A grand mural in the style of the Dutch Masters providing a stylized representation of State Senator Cristina Castro being crowned the Queen of all Elgin Hispanics because that’s clearly who she thinks she is.

4. A similar painting of City Councilwoman Tish Powell ordering all the white people out of Elgin because former U-46 School Board member Traci Ellis told her to.

5. A biblical fresco of new City Councilman Baldemar Lopez parting the Fox River because that makes about as much sense as his campaign mailers did.

6. A mural of Elgin Judges John Dalton and Mike Noland campaigning for Baldemar Lopez despite the Canon of Judicial Ethics clearly forbidding that kind of thing.

7. A Picasso-esque depiction of City Councilman Corey Dixon talking out of both sides of his three mouths.

8. A tastefully done nude portrait of the Assistant… on second thought, I should probably keep that one to myself.

9. A dire scene of the new downtown parking sensors going rogue and holding cars hostage for thousands of dollars in bogus parking tickets.

But what really makes this endeavor so patently absurd is the City Council thinks their decision not to regulate content absolves them of any of the potential consequences. But when they voted to require budding business art aficionados to obtain a permit before that first brush stroke, they put themselves right back on the hook.

And when something goes wrong – as it inevitably will – the plurality of Elginians who live to take offense will descend upon City Hall like a horde of locusts demanding immediate redress. They’ll be absolutely correct, too, because once the City turned this into a money-making proposition, they can and should be held accountable.

I’ll say it again! Real art ain’t for sissies. Either the City of Elgin should ban public art and be done with it, or they should get out of the art game completely and let the chips fall where they may.

The good news is, I’ve already gotten one downtown entrepreneur to sign on to one of my artistic interpretations and I’m sure the others will soon follow. All I can say is, the end result is gonna be glorious!

Four bucks for a Sunday paper?

First, I have to apologize for yesterday’s unseasonably inclement weather now. You see, I got our taxes to the accountant in time for the first time in the better part of a decade and clearly, hell is freezing over.

In the process of compiling that paperwork, I had to review our expenses at which point I realized we were paying $26.99 a month simply for the Sunday Tribune delivery. Do a little bit of math and it quickly adds up to $323.00 a year!

So, for the first time since I fled the nest at 20, I will not be receiving some sort of printed newspaper. And if my regular readers recall, there was a time I had five newspapers waiting for me on the driveway every morning:

• The Chicago Tribune
• The Chicago Sun-Times
• The Daily Herald
• The Beacon-News
• The Kane County Chronicle

If it wasn’t for this specific gig, with all of the online options available, I wouldn’t bother with the Tribune e-papers anymore, either!

Why? You ask?

Sunday’s paper was lighter than their Wednesday edition used to be such that I made it through the whole thing in a scant ten minutes. Steve Chapman was the only thing really worth reading.

There’s very little interesting or in-depth analysis, there’s virtually no investigative reporting, and if they run one more piece on that insipid ‘Game of Thrones’ crap you’re going to hear the ensuing shriek throughout the greater part of Northern Illinois.

And when you combine this reporting-lite trend with a massive decline in advertising revenue it’s a business model that cannot be sustained. To wit, the Trib’s major Sunday ads consisted of just:

• Target
• Kohls – which runs about every other week
• Walgreens
• CVS
• Meijer
• Menards

There used to be three times as many inserts.

Meanwhile, it would be more than a stretch to call the Courier- and Beacon-News newspapers, because there’s absolutely nothing to them with the exception of columnists who rarely tackle local issues.

I’ll say it again! What we’re witnessing is the slow death of local journalism, and if Jeff Ward has finally given up on print editions, then the end is certainly near. But much like the politicians they love to cover, the Trib will continue to engage in the Einsteinian definition of insanity by cutting back on anything and everything in the bizarre belief that somehow people will suddenly start subscribing again.

It would suddenly seem that consumer businesses are in a race to break down social barriers by tackling some interesting social issues in their advertising. I have to say it’s beyond fascinating to watch TV commercials go from the perfect family making the perfect pizza pull to Gillette attacking “toxic masculinity” in all its alleged dysfunctional glory.

To say it’s a marketing “paradigm shift” would be the most massive of understatements.

Frist, I’m sure those ad agencies crunched every last number in an effort to make sure those challenging ads would appeal to their target market. Gillette certainly ain’t out to commit corporate suicide.

And second, I’m also sure the theory is, whatever offended customers those companies might lose will be more than offset by the millions – or perhaps billions – of dollars in free publicity those ads generate from the inevitable press coverage.

So, if you walk into the Batavia, Illinois, Target and look up, you won’t see a series of statuesque models with perfect bodies in perfect poses somewhat stuffed into perfectly fitting semi-racy bras. Instead, you’ll see a slew of “regular” women of all colors, shapes, and particularly sizes, modelling “regular” underwear as depicted in the photo below.

And it’s really kinda cool because most of us don’t fit into that Chrissy Teigen and John Legend mold, and to continue to foist that kind of rare size 6 perfection on people is exactly why so many young women develop eating disorders.

The target (pun intended) should be to be reasonably happy and healthy, not being thin and miserable.

Not to be outdone, Gillette quickly topped Target by featuring an action shot of obese bikini clad model Anna O’Brien kicking it in the surf in their most recent Venus razor promotion. The unique ad features the tag line “Go out and slay the day.”

With 41 percent of American women falling into the medically obese category, it wasn’t much of a gamble on Gillette’s part. And that’s especially true when you consider how Twitter, the blogosphere, and the press absolutely lit up with some folks applauding the razor company for their forward thinking, while others accused them of promoting morbid obesity.

All I can say is, per the great P. T. Barnum, Gillette clearly believes there’s no such thing as bad publicity because they summarily sloughed off their legion of critics by declaring:

Venus is committed to representing beautiful women of all shapes, sizes and skin types because ALL types of beautiful skin deserve to be shown. We love Anna because she lives out loud and loves her skin no matter how the ‘rules’ say she should display it.

Though the obesity health risks are abundantly clear, I think Gillette is onto something in the sense that our physical appearance should never determine our well-being. I’ve said it before, if you really want to change something, accept and start with exactly where you are right now.

So, while I certainly fear for Ms. O’Brien’s long-term health, you can’t help but admire her contagious joie de vivre. But here’s the thing! What about plus-sized male models? Shouldn’t they be celebrated, too?

A female friend made the excellent point that, while we’re celebrating the female form in all its glorious shapes and sizes, the same can’t be said for men. She added that, with some clear exceptions, even overweight women won’t give an overweight man a second glance.

So, where are all the gleeful commercials featuring heavyset guys frolicking in the forest clad only in their boxer shorts? How about a Gillette spot with three plus-size men cheerfully shaving each other’s backs? Though I’m not sure exactly what it is, perhaps they could take on toxic femininity, too.

Men have feelings too, you know!

In no way am I trying to proffer the notion that overweight men are suddenly facing a furious feminine persecution. But especially when you consider how women like to believe they take the spiritual and moral high ground, it is a fascinating proposition to consider.

Oh lord, did I take a boatload of crap for Friday’s column castigating the press for falling for the Pitzen hoax. Then, weighing in on Monday’s report of a man carrying a rifle into Batavia High School on social media was even worse!

Even one of my former managing editors joined in the jumping-all-over-the-messenger-in-an-effort-to-kill-him festivities. How many times do I have to tell you that I’m a man without a country?

But in the immortal words of the late, great philosopher Tom Petty, “I won’t back down” because what terrifies me even more than our current insipid partisan divide is the stark and rapid decline of our capacity to take a critical approach to any topic or event whatsoever.

And God forbid if the unfolding scenario deliciously fits neatly into the viewer’s specifically stilted narrative, then all freakin’ bets are off.

Whether it’s the Coventry Catholic School kids at a D.C. protest, the entire Jussie Smollett saga, or Geneva, Illinois, teachers considering anyone with a mildly opposing viewpoint to be some sort Anti-Christ, demonizing the opposition and jumping to conclusions has become a national sport.

Though I would tend to expect more from educators in this race to a frothing at the mouth rabidity bottom, it’s yet another reason D304 is one of the most overrated school districts in Illinois and I’m happy my children are done with it.

But I digress!

When it was abundantly clear from the start that no one had simply strolled into BHS with a visible rifle, and I said so, you’d think I just reported the Batavia Target had run out of blond hair dye. Put more simply, the ensuing reaction was beyond absurd.

But before we continue, let me clearly state that the citizen who made that report did exactly the right thing. It was odd that they drove to the police station instead of calling 911 (I confirmed that with Tri-Com), but law enforcement had to react exactly as they did. Every last millimeter of that building had to be searched – with dogs – to ensure the safety of those students.

So, when I talk about folks running around in circles while shrieking “the sky is falling,” it’s the generally indiscriminate social media rabble to whom I’m referring. Because anyone with half a brain knew there was no BHS shooter. Here’s why:

1. If you’re gonna shoot up a school, arriving 1.5 hours before the bell rings would be a very strange choice.

2. If you’re gonna hide in the school to lay in wait for the students to arrive, then you’re not going to meander into a building containing innumerable security cameras with a visible rifle. You’d somehow hide it.

3. If someone does walk into a school with a visible weapon, the shooting starts right away, as has been the case in virtually every past incident.

4. Could the potential shooter have had one target in mind, as one individual posited? No! Because walking through a camera laden school with a rifle in an effort to hide somewhere to pick off one person wouldn’t work out very well.

5. And no! You shouldn’t send your children to school under these circumstances because, even if there is no shooter, the police aren’t going to let anyone into the building until it’s been cleared. So, there’s no need to ask that question.

I know it seems illogical to say there’s a logic to school shootings, but there always is. Review each one and you’ll quickly see the similarities. And if we apply that kind of experiential critical thinking, we may actually be able prevent history from repeating itself.

But no! Instead of applying just five percent of your brain cells, most of y’all would rather shriek, howl, sow the seeds of all sorts of needless fear, and make the situation far worse for the authorities who had to effectively contend with it. I’m sure the Batavia Police and D101 were besieged with unnecessary calls at a time when they were trying to deal with a very delicate situation.

Though school shootings clearly occur and the requisite precautions must be taken, they are so rare, the odds of your child – or anyone – dying in any mass shooting (not just at school) are a slim .0012 percent. To put that in perspective, you have a greater chance of getting hit by lightning 28 times over the course of your lifetime.

This conservative theory that we’re so bleeping important that everyone and everything is out to get us has got to go, because it’s driving most of you completely nuts – and that wasn’t a very long trip to begin with!

But the biggest Monday irony was, when my no shooter theory proved to be true, the attacks on yours truly actually increased, because none of y’all can conceive of the possibility that you might have overreacted to something.

C’mon people! Part of the successful critical thinking process is being able to admit when you’re wrong. That’s how we learn. And it’s much easier when you finally realize that you’re not nearly the most important person on the planet. But no! Instead, to requote Mr. Petty, “You believe what you want to believe.”

All it took was a minimum of applied logic to deduce there was no shooter. And if we don’t regularly start applying critical thinking soon, it’s gonna get real ugly real soon.

So, let the attacks on me commence!

Today’s topic was gonna be how conservatives can’t govern their way out of a plastic shopping bag, but that one will have to wait for Wednesday because CNN “analyst,” John Blake wrote a column entitled ‘The ‘Terrible’ Hypocrisy That Got Chicago’s First Black Lesbian Mayor Elected.’

And you thought I had brevity issues!

Look! You can joke about ‘Chiraq’ even though St. Louis, Baltimore, Cleveland, Detroit, New Orleans, Newark, Orlando, Memphis, and even Elkhart, Indiana, all boast higher murder rates.

You can make fun of Chicago’s vast penchant for political corruption and the fascinating ways in which these criminal masterminds try to pull it off. Fast Eddie is going to the pokey? Say it ain’t so!

You can joke about the futility known as the Chicago Cubs and that other South Side minor league team that can’t win a game, too. But if you don’t truly understand the word “clout” and you don’t begin to comprehend how Second City politics really work, then don’t embarrass yourself by writing about it.

Because Mr. Blake did just that by declaring how ironic it was that Chicago’s black churches got the eminently gay Lori Lightfoot elected mayor despite their vast and unrepentant homophobia. All I can say is, Mike and Slats are laughing their asses off in that netherworld Billy Boat Tavern over a couple of Old Styles and a pack of Marlboros.

And just what is the basis for Blake’s black church bestowing the mayorship upon Lightfoot contention? One of those ministers told him so.

Oh lord!

Anybody who’s ever REALLY covered politics knows that anyone who helps a candidate in any way – no matter how minimally – will claim complete credit for their victory. It’s yet another bizarre form of human nature, and that’s exactly what these generally ineffective black ministers just did.

All you have to do is take a look at the numbers.

In what turned out the be the February primary, Lightfoot received 97,667 votes. Third place finisher Bill Daley got 82,294. Do the math and you come up with a 15,373 vote margin of victory. With the massive current Chicago African-American exodus and the light voter turnout, there’s no way black church goers tipped those scales, especially with another black woman in the race.

Citylab writer Brentin Mock proved just that in this astute column where he crunches all of the applicable numbers.

Then Lightfoot proceeded to run away with the subsequent runoff by a three-to-one margin, or 239,109 votes, which means she would’ve have won without a single African-American pulling the ballot trigger. So, it would be an understatement to say the black churches had very little to do with that election.

Meanwhile, the Chicago papers have been gushing non-stop over how Lightfoot’s “unconventional” campaign mysteriously worked. But, despite those reporters’ and editors’ regular Windy City coverage, they’re dead wrong, too.

Lightfoot prevailed in the primary thanks to 14^th Ward Alderman Ed Burke being arrogant enough to extort a Burger King restaurateur on his fricken’ cell phone. Those “timely” federal charges are the only reason she won.

Not only did the Chicago press hammer the Preckwinkle-Burke connection home, but Lightfoot’s campaign did a masterful job of communicating that same point through a series of TV commercials.

And, as we’ve previously stipulated, Lightfoot destroyed runoff opponent Toni Preckwinkle as a result of that race becoming a referendum on Cook County State’s Attorney Kim Foxx’s bizarre absolution of ‘Empire’ actor Jussie Smollett.

All Tribune Columnist John Kass had to do is point out that Foxx was a Preckwinkle protégé, the rest of the press picked up on it and, stick a fork in Toni, she was done! It had absolutely nothing to do with African-American churches or Lightfoot’s campaign.

All that said, I do agree with Blake’s contention that it’s beyond ironic for a group that’s had to deal with the worst kind of intolerance to similarly heap that abject bigotry on their gay brothers and sisters.

I too, hope that’s not lost on Ms. Lightfoot, but I also hope she understands that all of Chicago elected her, and not just one franchise.

As for Mr. Blake, I would encourage him to stick to writing about ghost hunters, Jimi Hendrix, and Bigfoot because he’s clearly more suited to those kinds of feature columns. Perhaps he could even write something about his Baltimore hometown because that municipality makes a Saturday night in Chicago look like a walk in the Park.

If, after their botched “coverage” of the Timmothy Pitzen “story,” the media still wonders why they’re generally loathed, utterly untrusted, and the term “fake news” has caught on, then they’re even worse than the people they cover.

For background purposes, six-year-old Timmothy Pitzen’s mentally ill mother checked him out of his Aurora, Illinois, elementary school in May of 2011 to take a road trip to a zoo and a Wisconsin Dells water park. Three days later, her body was discovered in a Rockford, Illinois, hotel room with a suicide note declaring, “You’ll never find him.”

Fast forward to 2019 and a man who claimed he was 13-year-old Tim Pitzen was found wandering around a Newport, Kentucky, neighborhood alleging he escaped from his most recent abductors who’d been holding him at a nearby Red Roof Inn. The pretender added he’d been “traded” to a series of kidnappers, the latest of whom were two bodybuilders, one tattooed with snake and the other with a spiderweb.

As it turns out, the imposter is a 23-year-old career criminal who’d just been released from prison and, as the woman who spotted him surmised, he was probably trying to steal a car. A DNA test left no doubt.

I’m no rocket scientist, but it didn’t take a genius to determine this was a hoax. And the fact the press – including the Tribune, Beacon-News, Courier-News, Sun-Times and Daily Herald – fell for it hook, line and sinker, is so far beyond disheartening, it’s hard to describe.

All it would’ve taken is the kind of minimal ethical backbone that required a minimal amount of due diligence – or simply waiting a few days – before running the story. But no! It fell in their laps, they knew it would get a ton of hits, and all those editors and reporters desperately wanted to believe it was true.

C’mon! Somebody who ostensibly just escaped from his abductors runs all the way from Ohio to Kentucky – across a rather large bridge, mind you – and only admits who he is when confronted by the police?

Right!

Every other victim who’s managed to evade similar circumstances ran to the nearest neighbor or the very first person they saw for help.

Then, to be able to come up with a vivid description of the two men, exactly what they were wearing, all the details about their Ford Explorer, including the “yellow transfer paint,” but he didn’t know the location of the Red Roof Inn where he was being held?

Right!

And when was the last time you heard of a same-sex couple – and bodybuilders, no less – abducting or holding a child – in a hotel after six years? That doesn’t begin to match any kind of reality.

Trust me! I understand that we all wanted to hold out hope this for this purported miracle. Hope is what makes us uniquely human. Everyone in Aurora wanted that fairytale ending. I did, too! But the press, and especially newspapers, aren’t supposed to be this susceptible to wishful thinking.

And now that their massive ethical and journalistic lapse has been exposed, the media is doubling down with a bizarre righteous indignation. “How dare that man cause these families such pain.” If the press didn’t cover this hoax, how would they know? Law enforcement wasn’t going to spill the beans until they had hard evidence.

He clearly didn’t look like a 13-year-old boy.

Though there’s no proof of what I’m about to hypothesize, deep down, we all know what really happened.

The Pitzens were in the middle of an acrimonious divorce and Tim’s mother was so terrified her mental illness meant the judge would strip her of custody of her son, she took him for a final vacation, murdered him, and took her own life. That’s why the suicide note read, “You’ll never find him.”

And we  probably never will.

This sad scenario would be almost humorous if it wasn’t for the unconscionable and utterly unnecessary gut-wrenching pain the press just inflicted on the Pitzen family. This actually was the most abhorrent kind of “fake news.”

As my late mother would’ve said, “There’s gotta be a special place in hell for all those editors and reporters.”

Given another abysmally low voter turnout, there really weren’t many surprises last night. So, let’s get started:

1. Chicago

The fact that Lori Lightfoot won surprised no one, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen any Second City mayoral contender prevail by three-to-one margin over a real opponent. That was beyond shocking. As a Facebook friend said last night, “Call the Chicago Police, there’s been a murder.”

Toni Preckwinkle’s campaign inexplicably turned to some of the most bizarre forms of mud-slinging I’ve ever seen which certainly didn’t help, but in the end, this race turned in to a forum on Cook County State’s Attorney Kim Foxx fumbling the Jussie Smollett case.

So, Chicago! You just elected your first former federal prosecutor and openly gay black female mayor! She’s also the first non-Chicago born mayor since Anton Cermak. Though, considering the current state of The City That Ain’t Quite Working, you can’t help but wonder if Preckwinkle is the real winner here.

And speaking of Toni, given this kind of trouncing, I think her political career is over. She may be able hang onto the Cook County Democratic Chairmanship, but she’ll be hard pressed to retain the County Board presidency.

Could Chicago really be ready for reform?

2. U-46 School District

Proving, once again, that conservatives can’t govern, extreme right-wing incumbent Jeannette Ward and her similarly ideological school board slate went down in flames. And that’s really something when you consider that lighter turnouts tend to favor conservative candidates.

Unable to catch on anywhere else, Ward used her board seat to press a stilted agenda that never worked with U-46 voters and they just let her know that in no uncertain terms. True to herself till the end, Ward thanked “The Lord Jesus” for allowing her to serve on the school board.

But ain’t it funny how they never blame God for an election loss!

That said, my fondest wish is for the new board to dismiss any talk of a mandate and to show a willingness to ask the tough questions when the issue demands it. A school district the size of U-46 is always a difficult proposition.

3. Elgin Mayor and City Council

I couldn’t think of a reason not to reelect Mayor Dave Kaptain and the voters echoed that sentiment in a massive two-to-one victory. While I certainly like City Councilman Carol Rauschenberger, I still can’t figure out why she decided to run.

Meanwhile, to absolutely no one’s surprise, on the City Council side, John Steffen, Toby Shaw, Rose Martinez, and sadly, Tish Powell easily defended their seats. With Elgin generally firing on all cylinders, none of the challengers could come up with a compelling message.

Baldemar Lopez basically bought the two-year seat, but when you consider he barely beat an underfunded Steve Thoren, it ain’t any kind of mandate.

Lopez, who doesn’t play well with others, will turn out to be an ineffective councilman who simply see’s this “victory” as a stepping stone to Springfield.

4. Aurora

There were certainly no surprises here as those incumbents also retained their city council seats. And just as The First Ward predicted, 6th Ward Alderman Mike Saville destroyed his three opponents by a combined two-to-one margin.

Much like the late Naperville Mayor George Pradel was utterly unbeatable, Saville will be an Aurora alderman for as long as he wants to serve.

Thought I’m sure we haven’t seen the last of him, perennial candidate Matt Harrington keeps racking up the kind of huge losses that will make it impossible for him to win anything.

But perhaps all is not lost because also-ran Mavis Bates finally won an election! She will be the new at-large Fox Valley Park District Commissioner. I don’t remember the last time a park district candidate deployed those much more expensive 4 by 4 signs, but perhaps they did the trick!

5. Geneva

I just don’t get it! I’ve listened to my fellow Genevans rant and rave about the scurrilous tax and spend Springfield Democrats for years, and then they go out and send two union-backed candidates to the school board. It’s essentially a vote to raise your taxes.

On the city council side, despite the fact that 5th Ward Alderman Craig Maladra didn’t noticeably campaign, he handily dispatched challenger Tom Simonian who still can’t figure out how to run a political campaign.

I’d like to think that Tom has finally been put out of our collective misery, but I’d be willing to bet he runs for mayor again in 2021.

6. Sugar Grove

In the only other surprise of the night, two – count ‘em – two Sugar Grove write in candidates appear to have won their Trustee races. Wow! I’ve only seen one write-in candidate win a contested race and that was only after I wrote about him.

But two write-ins receiving more than 500 votes a piece? I never thought I’d see that day!

7. Waubonsee Community College

No surprises here, but it was fascinating to watch two former high-profile candidates run for trustee.

Willie Mayes Sr., who came out on the short end of the stick, ran for Sheriff in 2014 and 2018, while Rick Guzman, who came within inches of winning the Aurora mayoral race, will serve on that board.

9. Referenda

With the exception of Huntley library bonds, it was not a good night for any entity asking for:

• More money
• A higher retail tax rate
• A higher limiting rate

Or anything of the kind.

Among those losers was, you guessed it the Fox River and Countryside Fire Protection District who were denied a tax extension limitation. At this point, that group couldn’t pass a referendum promising to mow residents’ lawn for the entire summer.

It’s time for the state to finally step in, disband this ill-conceived district, and let it be absorbed by their far more solvent neighbors.

Other than saying shame on you for not voting and go out and pick up your signs, that’s it for 2019 folks!