As anyone with any shred of common sense would’ve predicted, finally armed with the appropriate witnesses, Judge David Akemann finally put us all out of our longstanding Campton Hills misery. Well…Everyone, but the Kane County Clerk’s Office who now have to put on a primary election in just three short weeks.

Yikes!

But despite this courtroom closure, I continue to find myself baffled by the newspaper reports. While it’s certainly true that two write-in candidates triggered a primary in which they must now secure a certain percentage of votes to be placed on the April consolidated election ballot, what I really wanted to know is, was Campton Hills’ failure to turn in some of those nominating petitions the proximate cause of this impending primary?

And after another short ten minute investigation, the short answer is no!

In a kinda Back to the Future movie gestalt, all Judge Akemann did was restore everything to the way it should’ve been had those petitions been submitted before the deadline. In other words, Campton Hills’ malfeasance will only cost their taxpayers the candidates’ legal fees.

For the full history of this fracas, please avail yourself of Wednesday’s column.

Before we continue, please let me make it abundantly clear that the fact I’m about to defend Kane County Clerk Jack Cunningham here – again – causes me all kinds of undue pain and stomach agita. But fair is fair and it’s not fair for the papers to continue to make it sound like the Clerk was fighting this electoral battle by choice.

Because he’s wasn’t!

No County Clerk in this vast nation of ours can pick and choose which election laws they want to follow. The statute is very clear. If Jesus Christ himself came down and told Mr. Cunningham to accept that late paperwork it wouldn’t have made any difference because, even though they often believe differently, this is the one case in which a judge truly is more powerful than God.

So I’m going to say it one more time! The only way a county clerk can accept tardy nominating petitions is by court order. Thus, when those Campton Hills Candidates sued to force the Clerk to accept their paperwork, he had no choice but to let the court sort it out.

Then, in yet another massive irony, when the plaintiff’s attorneys were informed of the $144,000 primary election cost, one of ‘em said the number was “highly, highly inflated.” Ain’t it funny how lawyers can apply the concept of inflation to everything but their own legal fees?

Trust me, $144,000 for a 12 precinct primary – which comes out to 12 grand per precinct – is fuckin’ dirt cheap. Because we’re talking ballots, absentee ballots, procuring polling places, a potential early voting requirement, temporary truck drivers with rental trucks, election judges, the phone bank required to support those election judges, security at any school polling places, not to mention the inordinate amount of County IT and Clerk staff time required to pull this kind of thing off under any conditions.

Judge Akemann did ask the Clerk to minimize the burden on taxpayers, but it can’t be done. There is no way getting around the fact that running any election is a very expensive and time consuming proposition. Quite frankly, I’m surprised it can be done for that small a sum.

This is why, every other year, the Clerk’s office goes through a secret ritual in which they sacrifice a virgin to the election gods in hopes that they won’t have to pay for another useless consolidated election primary in which nobody bleepin’ votes anyway.

So, to once again, sum it up:

Campton Hills’ failure to follow electoral law has been successfully redressed by the courts. As a result of two write-in candidates, there will be a Feb. 27 Campton Hills primary by which voters will determine who makes the April ballot. If they all get the appropriate percentage of votes, they all make it.

The Kane County Clerk did not force these candidates to go to court to set the record straight. The law did! And lastly, $144,000 for a twelve precinct primary election is not “inflated” in any way, shape or form.

So now that we’ve finally come to the end of our too-long tale, I’m wondering if it’s possible for the rest of the county to vote to dissolve the Village of Campton Hills. I’d be happy to lead the charge.

for your listening pleasure:

That smiling conservative and I want to thank Elgin City Councilman John Steffen for sittin’ between us and providing his opening statement. John is the longest serving city council member so he’s certainly got an interesting perspective!

We also took the time to thoroughly explained the Campton Hill’s kerfuffle and what the likely outcome there will be. Talk about some folks making politics a blood sport!

Not only that, but, Larry and I also want to that Chris for calling in to comment on our Internet sales tax and why too many local retailers don’t get it discussion. I don’t want to have to take a bleepin’ test at any checkout counter!

Next week –  Elgin city council contender Kyle Scifert! Until then…

…and personally, I can’t wait for it to come on!

Elgin City Councilman John Steffen will be joining us in the studio to make his city council campaign opening statement. We’re looking forward to hearing what he has to say!

Then we’ll finally set the Campton Hills petition challenge fiasco record straight! Though I would advise getting out your scorecards for that one folks.

Our next topic will be the Illinois sales tax on Internet purchases that starts February 1st. Where on all the Tea Partiers on what amounts to a regressive sales tax hike? They suddenly seem awfully quiet. And why does it take hours to pay for stuff at my local brick and mortar store? Perhaps if they treated us like customers we wouldn’t go online!

And last, but not least, our “As We See It” segment will cover the perils of social media and politics. If you’re gonna run for U-46 school board, you probably don’t want to get caught using the N-word!

That’s Left, Right and You with me, the curmudgeonly liberal, and Larry Jones, the smiling conservative, today and every Thursday at 3 p.m. on WRMN AM1410. We look forward to talking with you!

If you’ve been trying to keep up with the recent Campton Hills electoral follies then you’re probably just as confused as I am. Here’s the Reader’s Digest condensed version:

It started with semi-outgoing village president, Patsy Smith, taking issue with four council candidates’ nominating petitions. When the post challenge smoke cleared, even though our Gang of Four made the cut, the village hadn’t sent their paperwork to the County Clerk in a timely matter. So when the documents finally did arrive in Building B, Jack Cunningham said it was too late! And when the Gang of Four sued the Clerk to reverse that decision, Judge David Akemann continued the proceedings to Thursday.

Are you still with me? Because he only thing I’m sure about here is there’s been no resolution to this kerfuffle.

And the various newspaper accounts provide absolutely no help in unraveling this sixteen-hour German opera where everyone dies in the end. While it may be true that Campton Hills politicians never make anything easy, I knew this convoluted tale had to harbor an underlying thread of logic.

So I came up with three questions. First, who’s specifically at fault for the late petition submission? Second, if it’s the village, then why is the County Clerk fighting this lawsuit? And third, why wasn’t this resolved at Monday’s hearing?

Armed with those inquiries, I locked the doors, closed the blinds, donned some dark clothing and went into full Woodward and Bernstein mode. A scant ten minutes later I had all the answers which meant I had to unlock the doors, re-open the blinds and change my clothes.

Alright! Get your score cards out.

When interim Village Clerk, John Strauss, failed to certify and submit those petitions before the deadline, he – and the Village of Campton Hills – were utterly at fault. An impending petition challenge has absolutely no bearing on that process because the law clearly states that you’re on the ballot until you’re off!

Thus, a hopeful can submit the most horrifically error ridden nominating petition ever seen, but until and unless someone challenges it, he’s gonna go forward. The law has always leaned towards keeping candidates in the contest.

And the village’s attempt to complain that the clerk had a pre-Christmas family emergency is just another version of “the dog ate my homework” excuse. Quite frankly, I think the real “emergency” was Mayor Smith “encouraging” the clerk to hang onto those documents in an effort to make the Gang of Four as miserable as possible.

So, if the Gang bears no responsibility for this fiasco, why is the County Clerk fighting them in court?

Because he has no choice. In the law’s eyes, even the most magnificent alibi is utterly immaterial. All that matters is the petitions were late. The Second Appellate Court has been very clear on this; the only way any County Clerk can accept tardy petitions is via court order.

Since this seems so cut and dried, why didn’t the court issue the order on Monday?

Because the Gang of Fours’ attorneys failed to subpoena Village Clerk Strauss. And as Judge Akemann so aptly pointed out, how can they prove that Campton Hills was negligent without their sworn testimony? It certainly is comforting to know that some Kane County judges aren’t willing to throw up their hands and simply take an attorney’s word at face value.

When Judge Akemann asked the worthy counselors why they failed to bring the village into the courtroom, they said something to the effect of, “Well…We didn’t want to.” OK! So now the saga will continue on Thursday.

Are you with me so far? If not, to sum it up:

The Village of Campton Hills illegally failed to certify and submit four nominating petitions. But even though they’re to blame, the County Clerk cannot accept overdue petitions without a court order allowing him to do so. And this debacle would already be over if the plaintiffs’ attorneys “invited” the right folks to the first hearing.

As to how this will end, the Gang of Four will finally see their names on the ballot and the Village of Campton Hills will be on the hook for all their legal fees.

Only in Kane County folks!

As I sit back and watch the ongoing print media carnage – Sports Illustrated just laid off the last of their photo journalists (does that mean they’re just called “Sports” now) – publishers’ capacity to consistently make abysmally poor choices continually confounds me. C’mon man! Even that proverbial broken clock is right twice a day.

In yet another effort to outdo themselves, their latest form of mismanagement is to ask newsroom staff, and especially reporters, to make a massive investment in a company that plans on making absolutely no investment in them.

Many reporters haven’t seen a raise since 2008 despite being asked to take on an ever increasing workload that makes it more and more difficult to do a good job. And as the good reporters inevitably leave as a result, these publishers somehow think that their greatly diminished talent pool will somehow bring their former readers back.

But if you’ve taken a good look at what passes for writing in the local newspapers these days, you can clearly see that isn’t the case.

Because what they’ve ended up with is the latest form of low-paid stringers who don’t have the slightest idea what’s really going in in local politics or anywhere else for that matter. Who else would be willing to work for that miniscule amount of money?

So what you end up getting is one paper reporting that the Kane County Board’s Judicial and Public Safety Committee had new co-chairs which certainly ain’t the case. That same group got the age of a Kane County Board member wrong too. But what’s even worse is, the general level of the writing has gotten so bad that reading a paragraph three times is no guarantee that you will truly understand the author’s intent. Don’t even get me started on all the misspellings and absurd grammar usage.

And the bizarre irony is, if you speak with the reporters who’ve moved on, they will defend that newsroom dynamic to their dying day and go as far as threatening me with death if I use their names to make this point. But then they’ll let something slip like, “It’s finally nice to be working at a job where your bosses truly appreciate your talent.”

So much for maintaining a zealous defense!

Ah! But one reporter finally had the nerve to lay it on the line and the ever vigilant Jim Romenesko picked up on it. Again, I would encourage you to visit JimRomensko.com as often as possible because you’ll find stories like this one. All the featured reporter did was ask his new bosses for an eminently reasonable 3 percent raise and I’m sure you can already guess the ending.

The last line of the reporter’s response to Romenesko is something that’s needed to be said for a long, long time. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s time for newsrooms to unionize.

Goodbye local newspapers, you’re not even going to survive on the Net.

Worcester Telegram & Gazette reporter resigns after publisher says no to 3% raise

Investigative reporter Thomas Caywood received only one small raise in his seven years at the Worcester Telegram & Gazette, while his paid vacation benefit went from three weeks a year to two. Invited by new owners to stay at the paper, Caywood told Telegram publisher James F. Normandin that he’d stay put if he received a 3% raise and went back to three weeks paid vacation.

Tim Caywood

“The meager raise would barely be noticeable to my finances,” he told the boss, “but it’s vital to me that I see some tangible evidence of this commitment to quality journalism of which you and [T&G owner] GateHouse speak.”

The publisher said corporate wouldn’t let him negotiate, so it was take it or leave it.

“I left it,” writes the 44-year-old reporter.

He resigned last Tuesday without another job lined up.

I asked Caywood about his resignation and he responded via email [with my boldface]:

To answer your questions from yesterday: I have a reasonable savings and no major debt, so I’m not in any immediately jeopardy of destitution. I’ll be looking for work, of course, but I can get by without it for many months with a some austerity measures. I’m not married and don’t have any children, so I was only putting myself at risk when I resigned.

I didn’t leave the Telegram & Gazette with any hard feelings and my departure was not intended as some kind of provocative “fuck you” gesture. The publisher is a likable guy, and our meeting was cordial. I wish him and all my former colleagues well under the GateHouse ownership. I loved the job and was one of the T&G’s most-ardent promoters and defenders in the city. But I just couldn’t avoid any longer the unwelcome truth that I valued the job more highly than the company valued me.

…is a wrap!

We’re sorry that we couldn’t bring you Elgin City Council challenger Kyle Scifert today, but as you all know, the life of a police officer is never boring. We hope to have Kyle on a future show.

And speaking of police officers, Larry and I want to thank Elgin Police Chief Jeff Swoboda for volunteering to fill in via text as he drove by the station. Only Left, Right and You could be so fortunate!

Elgin Police Chief Jeff Swoboda

Larry and I also covered the recent Elgin OCTAVE candidate’s forum. We thought that the thought was excellent, but the execution was week. And while we love folks who choose to participate in the political process, we reminded that de facto downtown Elgin group that no one is more important than the process.

If you really want to accomplish something, constant shrieking and howling ain’t the way to go about it.

Next week – City Councilman John Steffen Until then!

Coming up at 3 p.m. today on WRMN AM1410, that Left, Right and You smiling conservative and I will talk about the final chapter on the racial makeup of suburban police forces and why Elgin got it right when they went to Puerto Rico.

Shortly thereafter, Elgin City Council challenger Kyle Scifert will join us in the studio to make his 15 minute opening statement. Larry and I are certainly looking forward to hearing what he has to say.

Kyle Scifert

(Kyle really needs to put a better picture out there!)

Then Larry and I will take on one of our pet peeves, those pseudo-political “cliques” that think they’re God’s gift to the process, but really only end up wasting everyone’s time. They’re never wrong about anything and they just love to take offense. And there’s one of those “groups” right here in downtown Elgin!

Even I can’t wait for this show!