Last Thursday we covered how the Campton Hills Terriers and Three-Headed Beagles conspired to get Kane County Clerk Jack Cunningham angry enough to throw them out of his office. Despite the immense strain, they managed to pool their minimal IQs to just above the double-digit level theorizing that Jack’s warm and welcoming approach was an act intended to throw them off their game.
As if they ever had a game.
But the truth is that’s Jack Cunningham. As one political friend recently put it, “Whenever you leave Jack’s office you feel like a million bucks.” Jack loves people, he loves his job, he loves talking about his remarkable political journey, and it shows
Now, I’m not saying the Kane County rabble should descend upon the Clerk’s office en masse, but if you show up with a thought or an issue and Jack’s not in the middle of something, he’ll invite you back to his office, take the time to listen to what you have to say, and if you’re lucky, he’ll share one or more of his fascinating stories.
If you have a question about his operation, Jack will happily play docent as he takes you on a tour of the entire office. Nothing is off limits, either.
Sure, Jack understands that treating your detractors with kindness and respect can go a long way towards disarming them, but unlike most elected officials, having worked for Jack I can tell you that it isn’t an act. It’s the real thing.
And nothing could possibly drive that point home more than a recent visit by a self-anointed scion of the First Amendment.
This YouTube jackass – and make no mistake, he is a jackass – calls himself “Tyrant Terminator Audits” and his schtick is bullying and harassing mid- to low-level public employees who don’t really know the law. He shows up at a public office, calls the police himself to be sure they come out, and then he starts videoing the premises in the hope that the staff and/or elected officials will make a fool of themselves.
Then Mr. Tyrant posts it on the Net for his 143,000 brain dead followers to lap up and respond adoringly. It’s nothing more than a self-aggrandizing show that wastes everyone’s time and accomplishes nothing. It takes a truly twisted mind to take such glee in tormenting others just because you can. And the ironic reality is, if you sat in a public official’s office for more than two hours you’d likely die of boredom.
The best part of all this is, while this hypocritical nitwit publicly demands transparency, he refuses to provide his name or show his face on camera. When Jack asked him where he’s from, this asshole said, “Earth.” Apparently he thinks he’s a comedian, too.
But he certainly met his match in Jack Cunningham just being Jack. You can watch the entire video right here. My suggestion would be to jump to the 16-minute mark when Jack enters the scene.
Prior to that, because Mr. Tyrant called 911 before he walked in the door, my hat’s off to the two Sheriff’s deputies who handled the situation perfectly. Again, no one from the Clerk’s office called the police because they’d have to get their boss’s consent. But even if a staffer did make the hypothetical call, considering the school shootings, CEO assassinations, and constant threats against election workers, having to deal with some meathead wholly intent on provoking a response should involve law enforcement.
From that point forward you will see Jack Cunningham at his best!
He explained all the processes and allowed this idiot to film everything including, but not nearly limited to:
- The political memorabilia in his office
- The Vital Records department
- The Tax Extension department
- Elections
Then he took this “gentleman” in back and let him tape all of the ballot processing machinery. The only off-limits location was the internal polling place because the law clearly stipulates that polling places cannot be filmed.
And as Jack put it, “After my fifth monologue the guy couldn’t wait to get out of here.”
Considering how Jack completely turned the tables on him, I actually have to give this jerk some credit for posting the video, particularly because our County Clerk just won a slew of new fans.
These are some of my favorite view comments:
“Man, that clerk was amazing. Gave an awesome tour, history, and transparency! I enjoyed that.”
“We need more government officials like Mr. Cunningham.”
“This county clerk is a living example of how all county clerks and other government workers should be! Thank you, county clerk John, you are a fine patriot!”
“Can you imagine a person like Mr. Cunningham as our president? He has presidential qualities.”
“We love you county clerk John Cunningham for your transparency with the public you serve. We appreciate you.”
And that love and affection repeated itself another 800 times. Talk about a great ambassador for Kane County!
(BTW, please don’t ever tell Jack he has “presidential qualities” because he just might run!)
Of course, only bleeps full of more of shit than Mr. Tyrant are the Beagles and Terriers, who not only fail to emulate a fellow Republican’s successes, but then claim it’s all an act.
Oh! And since I’m reasonably responsible for getting three of the eight Kane Countywide elected officials elected, should Mr. Tyrant ever show up at one of ‘em while I’m there, he will be caught on camera for the first time – lying flat on the ground – and after I’ve retrieved his wallet, we’ll all know his name.
Bleepin’ * idiots all around!
(* Jack asked me not to use the F-word here because he said I’m above it. He used to be a much better judge of character.)
Author’s Note:
Though I may post other content over the next two holiday weeks, given my traditional end-of-the-year break, I would not expect anything new. That said, please enjoy whatever holiday you might be about to celebrate. I’m already preparing the annual Festivus airing of family grievances.
Author’s Note 2:
Everyone tells me they want me to keep going in this journalistic regard, but few folks are hitting the “donate” button above. Perhaps the spirit of the season will move you to make a monthly $10 contribution to the cause.