He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool. – Canadian Artist Farquhar McGillivray Knowles
I can’t tell you how thrilling it is to have to admit it took less than two weeks for me to undermine my November 21 resolution to avoid any female family court email entreaty. I keep trying to tell you I’m nothing but an old softie.
If you’re curious about the reasoning behind my decision to continue to speak with the family court men, but not the women, please refer to the column in question.
My current undoing came at the hands of a couple of women who emailed me regarding a matter in Judge James Grady’s courtroom. Considering that poor excuse for a human being shouldn’t be sitting on a park bench, much less the judicial variety, I deeply sighed and passed along my phone number in an effort to offer two eminently basic pieces of advice.
And those two invaluable bits of wisdom were, Ninety-five percent of pro se attorneys have a fool for a client and if you believe a judge made a bad ruling that’s what the appellate courts are for.
Though I did appreciate the reminder to start applying my traditional methods to “encourage” Grady to finally retire, including but not limited to some upcoming courtroom visits, the nanosecond I started talking to one of those emailers I seriously regretted my lack of backbone.
So, in that previous column’s vein, here are a number of new and not quite so new “If you” family courtroom caveats:
- If you reach out to a veteran journalist for advice, but you “yes, but” him every step of the way because you’re clearly convinced you’re right and everybody else is wrong, why did you contact him in the first place?
- If you’ve spoken with over 20 attorneys and none of them will take your case, then you really oughtta consider the possibility that you’re the problem.
- If you believe the reason over 20 attorneys have turned you down is because they’re in cahoots with the judge to perpetrate a massive fraud, then you are the problem. Attorneys are in it to make money, and trust me, it takes some real red flags for them to dismiss that possibility down.
- If you think you can get the “media” to drop everything and champion your case then you harbor the kind of entitlement mentality that certainly won’t help you in court.
- If you believe that trying to get the media involved in all but the most egregious cases will help your case, then you’re in for a rather rude awakening.
- If you spend more time trumpeting how you’re being persecuted by the judge and the courts than LISTENING and trying to figure out how to make it work, then you enjoy being the problem.
Between this shorter piece and the former, we’re talking about thousands of dollars’ worth of free advice, and I want to thank all of the judges and attorneys who read who told me my sage words were dead on. Of course, they also said that nobody would listen.
I also want to clarify that men play just as many games in family court as the women do, but not the men who’ve come to me for help.
Oh! And Judge Grady, please don’t force me to get the national media involved like I did with John Dalton, because if you don’t take a hint and retire, that’s exactly what I intend to do. I’m tired of your antics and I fully intend to fulfill that necessary checks and balances role.
As for family court women seeking advice, this time I mean it! I will no longer respond to those emails – until I do just that the goddamn very next time.
