If you insist on labeling me, my sexual orientation is horny. ― Author Margot Wood
It is becoming increasing difficult to be a liberal in great part because progressives have taken their artificial “wokeness” so far that the term “liberal” has lost all meaning. My abundantly middle-of-the-road central stipulations have been rendered the equivalent of a radical conservative manifesto by a progressive cancel culture purity test no one can pass.
And the reason no one will ever make that cut is as soon as they come close, the loons move the “woke” goalposts a little further to the left in a persistent attempt to top each other in the self-sanctimony regard.
The latest leftist lunacy comes from the Springfield progressive posse in the form of legislation forcing schools to collect sexual orientation data on students as young as kindergarteners. Yes! You actually just read that – kindergarten students.
But before we get into my thoughts on this rank stupidity, considering the proliferation of mendacious memes on social media, it’s important to note what this bill is not.
And it’s NOT the work of any single school district. They like these unfunded mandates about as much as they enjoy cleaning up after Friday afternoon food fights. Regardless of what they might think, our local districts have no choice but to go along with this blatant overreach.
It’s not an initiative by the Illinois State Board of Education, either. My impression is they don’t seem too terribly thrilled with it themselves, but they’re similarly bound by the General Assembly’s edicts. And let me tell ya, they LOVE fielding all the irate calls while our scurrilous legislators do their best to duck constituents.
Furthermore, if, as some social media commenters contended, you think the ISBE can effectively push back against a Springfield Democratic supermajority who don’t have worry about reelection campaigns, then you probably believe Governor Pritzker’s latest diet plan will work, too.
Most importantly, this sexual orientation survey is wholly optional as it clearly states on the form. It’s NOT an attempt to “indoctrinate” or “groom” our children, either. As my sainted teacher wife likes to say, “If we could indoctrinate or groom students, the first thing we’d work on is getting them to pay attention, wear deodorant, and do their homework.”
Lastly, HB2170’s implementation has been delayed until the 2023-24 school year due to data security concerns and some school district pushback. C’mon! If major corporations can’t effectively safeguard our personal data then what makes anyone think the State of Illinois can do any better?
Aside from progressives’ bizarre obsession with race, ethnicity, and particularly sexuality, it’s the sheer absurdity of this form of progressophobia that drives me nuts. Why would anyone need to know a kindergartner’s sexual orientation? Most five-year-olds are far more concerned with making it to the potty without incident than their sexual preferences which don’t begin to evidence themselves until fifth grade. So, what are form filling parents of young children supposed to do? Guess?
And what’s the point? Are we expecting some sort of statistical surprise? It’s been long resolved that six percent of the population is gay, lesbian, bisexual, or non-binary and our school districts should simply move forward on that well-studied basis.
More to the point, what possible reason would a teacher, administrator, or particularly the government have to know the specifics of a student’s sexual orientation? So, they can treat them differently? Isn’t it every gay kid’s dream to be singled out?
At the end of the day, my child’s sexual orientation is none of their goddamn business and any parent who would willingly advertise it for progressive street cred should be investigated for child abuse.
You see, the only thing that drives progressives crazier than conservative Christians are those classic liberals and conservatives who couldn’t give a rat’s patootie about anyone’s sexual orientation because an accident of birth is hardly the stuff upon which to evaluate the content of someone’s character.
Though it’s nothing more than a minor trait, if you believe progressives it’s our defining circumstance. Think about it! With rare exception, how could I determine your sexual orientation unless you tell me about it?
But please don’t because I’m utterly uninterested. I don’t care who you hold hands with. I don’t care who you date. I don’t care who you marry. It’s your business and no one else’s. Go ahead and wed your Honda Fit as long as you promise to keep the garage door shut during those intimate moments.
The only thing more terrifying than being forced to observe any of my portly and pasty white subdivision neighbors engaged in a carnal embrace is considering the possibility of what those Springfield legislators might come up with next.
Normally, I would chalk this up to a generally legislative lunacy, but this sexual orientation data stupidity will only serve to rile parents to the point where those contentious COVID school board meetings will seem tame by comparison. And these inevitable kerfuffle’s will be patently pointless because there’s nothing a school board can do but complain themselves.
But the worst part of these overly-woke initiatives is they always incite the kind of equal and opposite political reaction that, ironically, makes life so much more difficult for the LGBTQ children they purport to protect.
Texas is doing their damndest to prosecute parents of transgender children for child abuse, 34 states have 240 anti-LGBTQ bills pending, and Florida has already passed their infamous “Don’t Say Gay” bill.
Though truth be told, this liberal believes that law is more than reasonable. Despite all the dire progressive proclamations, all the “Parental Rights in Education” statute does is bar lessons on sexual orientation from kindergarten through third grade. That’s it!
Isn’t being a kid difficult enough in the 22nd Century without having those perpetually contracting childhood years shrink further? Wouldn’t it be wiser to let our children be children for a long as we reasonably can?
So, how do we make this Illinois initiative go away?
In order for the data to be meaningful, the State will need to foster a general parental/student survey compliance. That means the quickest way to end this drivel is to for parents and students to refuse to fill out the form, because even if just a quarter of you ignore it, the data will be far too skewed for it to be useful.
Remember what happened when a slew of Geneva Parents opted their children out of the absurd Illinois Youth Survey? D304 was forced to drop the whole thing.
Then we need to call our Republican state reps/senators and tell them to get off their super-minority pity pot and call out the progressive legislators who insist on foisting this crap upon unsuspecting parents and children. It wouldn’t hurt to contact the Democratic variety and threaten to primary their sorry butts for this idiotic overreach and gross invasion of privacy.
For the folks who like to attack labels like “incorrect” personal pronouns, progressives certainly enjoy applying them at every turn. But rather than resort to the hysteria that progressives always promote, let’s fight back with the kind of cool logical effectiveness that will inevitably doom these contemptible proposals.
Because the only way this counterproductive creeping progressivism will finally be eliminated is if, like the parents who rallied against those pointless COVID mitigations, we maintain a reasonable vigilance and simply face it down at every turn.