The First Ward Report – May 4, 2021

The First Ward Report – May 4, 2021

Raises for the County Board?

Mother of all things holy! In yet another fine example of how Kane County Democrats love to spend your money, a scant five months into her four-year term, Kane County Chairman Corinne Pierog is happily presiding over the County Board’s impending discussion on giving themselves raises. Oh! And they’re doing this in the COVID era, no less!

Pierog and her county board lackeys certainly didn’t waste any time, did they?

KC Board members already get 25 grand a year plus the kind of Cadillac benefits package the rest of us rabble can only dream about – for a part-time job. And this particular gaggle of elected officials aren’t exactly setting the world on fire, either. You’ve got Mike Kenyon and Ken Shepro regularly falling asleep at meetings. Mark Davoust and Myrna Molina speak so infrequently I’m starting to think they’ve forgotten the language, and Mo Iqbal’s only apparent skill is taking up space, which to be fair, he does magnificently.

Most of ‘em do attend the full board meetings, but if I started pulling up their committee attendance records, I promise you it would be more than embarrassing.

Given the existing state statute, they technically can’t vote themselves raises, they can only provide that increase to the incoming 2022 batch of board members. But rest assured, most of the current motley crew will still be around to reap that benefit.

I promise I’ll keep you posted on this farcical fiscal flight of fancy, but you might also want to email your county board member to let them know exactly how you feel about this ridiculous prospect.


Please go away, Martha!

Just when I thought our least favorite failed state rep candidate and progressive nanny-state Nazi had finally been rendered obsolete, like a bad end-of-the-movie Bond villain, Martha Paschke is back in the newspapers. And her newest BS cause-du-jour is the Geneva D304 school dress code.

Apparently, her middle school daughter was one of a number of young women called out by Middle School North administrators for wearing a tank top during that 84 degree day last week. As you might imagine, this “incident” was the proximate cause of propelling Paschke directly into yet another historic hissy fit.

Don’t you dare tell her daughter what she can and can’t wear!

But wait a minute! Isn’t this the same woman who’s repeatedly demanded that we serfs wear masks for the rest of our natural born lives? And isn’t this the same progressive pest who went into a complete tizzy when Geneva Parents United led the charge to bring D304 back to full-time in-person learning?

In fact, the emails Paschke’s anti-school reopening minions fired off to GPU parents were so absurd and threatening that I turned them over to the State’s Attorney’s Office.

All she had to do is keep her children in remote learning, but that’s never enough for folks like Martha who are never satisfied until everyone behaves exactly as she thinks they should. And these nanny-staters are far worse than Trump supporters because they have the nerve to consider themselves to be “enlightened.”

So, when it comes time for her children to follow the rules, they’re suddenly exempt? I should’ve known!

Every D304 middle and high school student is given a handbook covering student appearance and other pertinent issues at the beginning of each school year, and they have to sign off on those rules every year, too. So, it’s not as if both Ms. Paschkes can claim ignorance…well…not for that reason, anyway.

Of course, as is par for the course, Paschke and some other mothers contended that, by enforcing the rules that apply to everyone, they’re “sexualizing” 11-year-old girls by forcing them cover their shoulders. First, according to an older sibling, the young Ms. Paschke was wearing a “large flannel shirt” over the tank top, so bare shoulders clearly weren’t the issue.

It was simply the fact that tank tops aren’t allowed.

And second, as far as “sexualizing” them goes, Geneva mothers and daughters are doing a fine job of that on their own. Have you seen what young women aren’t wearing these days? As the great Dick Biondi was purported to have once said, “If those shorts get any shorter they’ll have more cheeks to power and…” Or better yet, go to any Geneva High School dance team competition where you’ll swiftly discover an entirely new meaning to the concept of objectifying teenage girls.

I used to wonder how any self-respecting mother could let their daughter leave the house dressed like that, but after seeing how the mothers dressed for after school events, there was no longer any need to wonder.

Don’t give me any of this “boys can’t control themselves in the face of a bare shoulder” bullshit, either. I’ve observed many women in this existence and not one of ’em has possessed the kind of shoulder that’s managed to set my heart, or anything else, aflutter. This consistent “It’s all the boy’s fault” progressive shrieking is just more of their sexist bullshit.

And the current dress code is more than reasonable. If they asked me to update it I would ban all of the following for all students:

  • Tank tops
  • Exterior panties (overly short shorts)
  • Flip flops
  • Ripped jeans of any kind (even off the rack)
  • Yoga pants
  • Bare midriffs
  • Pajamas or anything that remotely looks like pajamas
  • Ratty old t-shirts
  • T-shirts with any slogan or wording on them
  • Hats
  • Hoodies

Have some fucking self-respect and some consideration for those trying to educate you despite your best efforts not to learn a damn thing.

But back to the issue at hand. This is nothing more than another attempt by another beyond hypocritical progressive mother who resorts to playing the sexism card whenever the rules are applied to her daughter – who signed off on the dress code before the school year started.

If you don’t like it, then lobby the school board to have it changed.

I swear! When the nuclear missiles finally fly, the only things left will be cockroaches, myself, Cher, Keith Richard, and Martha Paschke. And if forced to choose between dealing with Paschke or the cockroaches, I won’t even have to think about it.


An irony lost!

So, there I was, walking the dogs past the Delnor Health and Fitness center this morning when I noticed their rotating LED message board read “Don’t Drive Distracted!”

Do they mean that motorists flying down a packed Randall Road at 55 mph at 7:30 in the morning should pay absolutely no attention to their overly bright sign advertising all manner exercise classes, massages, nutritional counseling, and getting back in shape?

Good to know!

Though come to think of it, perhaps this is a truly innovative marketing plan intended to generate more hospital admissions!

Only in America, and particularly in Geneva.


Google sucks!

In the process of writing this piece on Monday, May 3, as is frequently the case, I resorted to Google to gather information. As I’m sure you already know, that search engine typically puts up a graphic having something to do with a semi-famous person’s birthday or some sort of minor national event.

Today’s entry was an acknowledgment of National Teacher Appreciation week which certainly ain’t a bad thing. But then I made the mistake of glancing at the bottom of the page only to read, “Celebrating teachers and supporting those building inclusive classrooms.”

M**********r; M**********r; M**********r;

As perturbed as I am with our educators’ abysmal response to the plague, between all the teachers I’ve had (including nuns), and my sons have had, I’ve NEVER run into one who didn’t make a real effort to be inclusive. Some weren’t the best at their job, but that dynamic is true of any profession.

I understand that we have to endure the constant media horror story barrage about errant teachers and administrators who’ve done some really stupid shit. But the fact they don’t cover the 99.5 percent who make every effort to make their students feel comfortable in the classroom doesn’t begin make those bad apples any less of an exception.

So, Google! Go fuck yourself and please take your artificially “woke” ass with you!


Leave a Reply