The First Ward Report – Elgin! Why not puppies and sunshine?

The First Ward Report – Elgin! Why not puppies and sunshine?

Will someone please tell me how a satirist can possibly satirize a city council that’s so self-satirizing a satirist couldn’t possibly satirize them any more than they satirize themselves?

I’m asking because I’ve never had this problem before.

It all started with that eminently fascinating body’s unparalleled propensity to waste everyone’s time at a time when time is at a premium. And this time it was a beyond pointless climate change resolution supported by the Concerned Citizens of the Fox Valley who clearly have too much time on their hands.

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Elgin City Councilman Terry Gavin

So, just to be sure I have a handle on all of this! We’re still smack dab in the middle of a strange pandemic where the only possible “cure” is eliminating the economy while these city council Neros fiddle with pointless symbolic gestures as the urban world burns around them?

Not to mention the impending murder hornets.

Really? At a time when the only way 2020 could possibly top itself is by encouraging Godzilla to rise out of the Fox River, the Elgin City Council is tackling climate change? Why not pass a resolution supporting puppies, sunshine, unicorns, rainbows, and extraterrestrial aliens while they’re at it.

It would have exactly the same effect.

Only the Elgin City Council could prove Ecclesiastes 1:9 wrong. There actually is something new under the sun! And they fervently debated this patently pointless resolution, too!

Just like it is with Santa Claus, Councilman Terry Gavin declared he doesn’t believe in climate change, so there’s no need to address it. My advice to him would be to consider not believing in alcohol, particularly directly before those Wednesday night meetings.

Gavin, never a threat to MENSA, continued by claiming that, since there’s no scientific consensus on climate change, there’s no need to address it. I take that back! Perhaps he does believe in Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny, too!

But while I expect nothing less from Alderman Gavin, I expect a lot more from Councilman Toby Shaw, who, on good days, has demonstrated a reasonable IQ. May I respectfully remind the councilman that the word “conservative” is derived from “conserve,” and regardless of your pandering partisan beliefs, when it comes to this scant blue third rock from the sun, conservation is never a bad idea.

Ah! But while those two were entertaining, as is always the case, my favorite city council climate change resolution response came from Baldemar Lopez, who said, “I am standing in support of this initiative. I think we’ll take a measured course and a very deliberate course in terms of implementation.”

What the councilman wants you to forget is, he was a highly paid lobbyist for Commonwealth Edison, one of the most prolific polluters in Illinois history. They’ve gotten better of late, but that utility still relies on eminently dirty energy sources like coal on 90-degree summer days.

Apparently green money trumps green efforts, doesn’t it?

To make matters so much worse – if that’s even possible – Mayor Dave Kaptain, a man we could almost always count on to be a voice of reason, said, “I look at it as recognizing it’s an emergency. I would recommend an advisory referendum to see if the city wants to pay for it and see what the residents want to do.”

Oh! So, you want to waste even more of everyone’s time!

Dave! Please allow me to address you husband-to-husband. Trust me! I understand that, unless we want to be relegated to that spare bedroom, on occasion, we husbands actually have to listen to our wives. But the problem with this theory here is, not only does your wife’s ultra-progressive bent have an undue effect on an entire city, but some folks say her reality bears absolutely no resemblance to anyone else’s.

May I humbly suggest that, the next time she starts talking about this kind of thing, simply turn your hearing aid down. That way, you’ll stay in her good graces and the city of Elgin will be far better off for it!

Though I know the rabble will do just that, please don’t get me wrong! I put my money where my mouth is in the climate change regard. I drive no more than 3,000 miles a year, we keep the thermostat at 65 in the winter and 78 in the summer, and we buy every last sustainable grocery store product possible.

But for the Elgin City Council to debate a pointless and pandering resolution when their full and undivided attention is so desperately required elsewhere, is so far beyond the pale, that I’m not quite sure where to begin.

But I do know where it needs to end! And that’s at the ballot box.

So, rather than just bitching about a governing body that no longer represents anything other than their own self-serving political interests, I’m going to renew my call for hope and change in the City of Elgin.

Corey Dixon, Baldemar Lopez, Carol Rauschenberger, and yes, Terry Gavin, are all up for reelection next year, and they all need to go! I have to believe that, in a city of 112,000, there are four sane centrist candidates who would like to serve the City that they and I love.

And even though those fine folks would have to put some time and money into it, I’d run their campaigns at no charge.

You know where to find me!

3 thoughts on “The First Ward Report – Elgin! Why not puppies and sunshine?

  1. CLIMATE CHANGE is a farse. Fact or fiction. I studied this phenomanom in college. Its a looooong drawn out study on why the earth does what it does and it has noting to do with US. FACT. The earth changes in THOSANDS OF YEARS. and not in days weeks months or even decades or centuries. THOUSANDS people. Unless u are a thousand year person u cant say CLIMATE CHANGE. LOL That doesnt mean we are not destroying things and poluting. On the contrary WE ARE. Having a degree in environmental resources and natural resouces i can tell u so.Thing is this so called made up climate football game is a political kick it around thing and its not helping anyone .

  2. You are spot on because you are watching and paying attention. The citizens of Elgin are not or they just don’t care. Just stay off my lawn and let the bullets and dirty city council go by. The council has been the grounds for special and personal interests for years. From Gavin weakening the dangerous dog ordinance just for his dangerous dog to Martinez voting to sell her church city property, this is a classic case of what Elgin is now: Politically dirty, apathetic, and a play land for special interest groups and neighborhood groups like NENA.

    And for mayor Weakling, this is another platform to show his impotence in leadership. While border villages like South Elgin and Carpentersville are helping their people by giving credits on their water bills, he is declaring a climate emergency. LOL. As far as other people running for office, they will be interchangeable parts as Elgin is a Democrat city now. The Elgin Township Republicans, what’s left of them, are of no help in recruiting fair-minded people to run for anything. It’s easier to move and watch Atlanta burn than it is to grab a squirt gun. Pass the marshmallows.

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