Considering the vast stupidity we’re about to explore, I’ve decided to apply the only language that can truly tackle these terrible topics. All that said, you might want to cover your ears while you read this one.
And our national IQ drops another ten points!
Oh my fucking lord! A scant six out of the seven million people inoculated with the Johnson and Johnson vaccine have a serious side effect and we all lose our collective fucking minds? To put that absurd ratio in perspective, all things considered equal, you have a .000008 percent chance of developing those blood clots.
To further put that in perspective, you have a/an:
- 18 percent chance of dying of complications from obesity
- 14 percent chance of perishing from cancer
- 1 percent chance of taking your own life
- .09 percent chance of expiring in a vehicle crash
- .08 percent chance of drowning
- .04 percent chance of choking to death
- .01 percent chance of dying of sunstroke (who knew?)
- .016 percent chance of perishing from an insect sting, and a
- .0007 percent chance of dying from a lightning strike
And the last one is 100 fucking times more likely than having a serious reaction to the J&J serum. But despite that blithering obvious reality, we just put off millions of vaccinations at time when we’re in a race against coronavirus mutational drift time!
The only reason many on-the-fence folks were even considering getting poked is the J&J iteration was a one-shot deal. And call me crazy, but doesn’t COVID-19 have the potential to do far greater damage on a far greater scale than any beyond blitheringly impossibly rare stupid side effect bullshit?
Has the progressive nanny state gotten so bad that we can’t make our own reasonably informed decision in this regard? And the pandemic panic porn prone press just laps it up and gleefully spreads this new fear at every turn.
We are a nation of fools being led by raging idiots.
Judge Noland’s lawsuit goes forward!
And speaking of raging idiots, remember when former Elgin State Senator and current 16th Circuit Judge Mike Noland co-sponsored legislation to officially forgo those automatic Illinois General Assembly cost-of-living increases during the budget stalemate – and he made a big deal out of it as often as he could?
Then, after his doomed Congressional campaign, he sued to get that money back?
Well, in yet another truth is stranger than fiction twist, Cook County Judge Allen Price Walker ruled that the State of Illinois must fork over that 80 grand to both Noland and his equally idiotic former State Senate cohort James Clayborne.
And that comes after Illinoisians already paid Noland $738,000 to be a General Assembly embarrassment, and they continue to pay him $207,000 a year to be the worst judge in the state.
Comptroller Susan Mendoza and Attorney General Kwame Raoul both vowed to take this all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court if they have to, which ironically, would quickly eat up all that back pay in legal fees.
But as much as I enjoy that prospect, as is always the case, I have a much simpler and far more effective solution.
I understand that Chief Judges don’t wield much power over their peers, but they’re not nearly powerless, either. So, when you consider the mockery Noland’s making of the black robe, were I Chief Judge Clint Hull, I’d make it abundantly clear that either this lawsuit goes away, or Noland’s judicial life will quickly become a living hell.
And I’d do it today!
And speaking of Chief Judge Hull…
What puzzles me even more than the insistent stupid-ification of the American public is the persistent wussification of the Illinois judiciary. And if “wussification” wasn’t a word before, it is now!
First, that supposed letter-of-the-law Second District Appellate Court, led by former “blood and guts” DuPage State’s Attorney Joe Birkett, reversed Geneva’s Foxfire Restaurant’s victory against Governor Pointless’ unconstitutional plague mitigations, and now this!
After landlords have been stiffed by tenants gaming the COVID system for over a year because the Governor won’t allow sheriffs to enforce orders for possession – even in cases where the tenant is a threat to the property or other tenants – the 16th Circuit is now requiring mediation in residential eviction cases.
What? Mediation?
Not only will this politically correct bullshit add another two months to the already interminable pandemic eviction process, but please tell me exactly what mediation is gonna do? Why not just hold hands, sing ‘Kumbaya,’ and pray that hundred-dollar bills start flying out of our insipid local elected officials’ ample asses?
Before you accuse this liberal of heading down Rightwing Road one more time, let me be abundantly clear that I generally loathe landlords. Between my time in Rogers Park and South Evanston, I had seven of ‘em, and only one could’ve passed the Turing Test (look it up!). Put more simply, five were scum and one was Baird and Warner, a real estate company that gave an entirely new meaning to the phrase “you really oughtta talk to someone who gives a fuck!”
But enough is enough!
I don’t begin to get this stilted progressive political perception that restaurants, small businesses, and property owners somehow have to bear the full financial brunt of the plague. To quote The Bard, “If pricked, do they not bleed? If tickled, do they not laugh? If poisoned, do they not die? And if they can’t collect the fuckin’ rent, do they not default on their fuckin’ mortgage?
Bill really did have a foul mouth!
C’mon! The gravy train has got to end even for the minority of tenants who haven’t been able to come up with the cash. But no! Instead of facing reality, Chief Judge Hull and those flight-of-fancy prone Kane County Circuit Judges joined the long litany of liberal government loons who fervently believe the looming eviction tsunami will simply disappear in the face of rainbows, bunnies, gumdrops, unicorns, and an end to American political partisanship.
Aren’t judges supposed to be our last line of defense against that insistent government overreach? And if anyone thinks that Illinois and/or the Federal Government will come up with any workable form of past due rent relief anytime soon, you’re even dumber than Mike Noland.
Great job Judge Hull! What’s next? Mandatory group hugs before remanding someone into custody and sending inmates flowers on the anniversary of their incarceration? Might I suggest the attached card read thusly:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
We know you’re in jail
But we still like you
