Quick Hits – November 27, 2019

Quick Hits – November 27, 2019

Now, some readers, particularly those of the Tri-Cities variety, are getting on my last good nerve by self-righteously proclaiming I should be “supporting the community” instead of “tearing it down.”

Oh! Lord grant me patience. Some of y’all really need to start appreciating the massive effort I put into not being a serial killer. Just go ahead and add that to your pre-meal Thanksgiving prayer.

First, for better and likely much worse, that’s what the rest of the local newspapers already do. I call it “happy news.” When was the last time any local paper broke a real story? Conversely, here’s what we’ve recently discussed here:

  • The immense violence occurring at the Illinois Youth Center – St. Charles
  • Why Batavians’ electric rates are so ridiculously high
  • How an Elgin City Councilman has been bought and sold by the Madigan Machine
  • The sexual harassment scandal in the Kane County State’s Attorney’s Office
  • The real Burlington bus aide story
  • The Public Defenders utter inability to make it into the office
  • The truth about roundabouts

And so much more!

I’ll certainly give Shaw Media credit for following up on the IYC, the KCSAO sexual harassment, and the truth about Burlington bus aide stories, but please note the phrase “following up.”

Second, when no one’s covering government malfeasance, it only encourages elected officials to further misbehave, and before you know it, your taxes skyrocket. How are those electric rates Batavia? And didn’t you just get socked with a double property tax increase?

How’s the fact that no newspaper broke those stories ahead of time workin’ out for ya?

And third, whenever someone insists I should “support the community,” roughly translated, what it really means is, I’ve offended their delicate sensibilities with the truth, and they can’t come up with a better argument for why I shouldn’t print the truth.

But since you so impolitely asked me, I’ve got your community support right here:


March on ladies!

On the heels of 2017’s eminently successful Geneva Women’s March – despite having to endure polar vortex-like conditions – We Can Lead Fox Valley is hoping to double those 700 female marchers in 2020.

Still gluttons for midwinter weather punishment, the upcoming event will take place on January 18 at noon, opening with a rally in the Kane County Civil Courthouse parking lot on James Street. The marchers will proceed north on 6th Street, east on State Street, and south on Third Street, sticking to the sidewalks the entire time.

Geneva Women's March.jpg

This Women’s March theme is “Get out and vote,” a sentiment I can get behind without reservation.

But there’s an irony involved here that’s just too ironic to pass up. Despite the fact that moderate folks like me wholeheartedly support women laying claim to their political power, it’s beyond fascinating to watch conservatives – and particularly conservative women – take this apolitical march as a personal affront.

And I’m the one who fails to support the community? The mere existence of female marchers seems to immediately trigger conservatives into a sprint to their safe spaces.

I applaud the group organizing the march – it’s no small task, I couldn’t possibly hold our January marchers in higher esteem, and I believe in standing for something, because if you don’t, you’ll fall for anything.

March on ladies!


Congratulations Terry Emma!

In deference to my adoring throng, I’m not gonna name names, but some previous Geneva Wood Award winners left me scratching my head. But not this one! If anyone ever deserved this 2019 accolade it’s third-generation Genevan and Geneva History Museum head honcho, Terry Emma.

Terry Emma 2

For you non-Genevans, the Wood Community Service Award, annually bestowed by the Chamber of Commerce, goes to the individual who’s most contributed to “the growth and health of the Geneva community.”

I figure my nomination got lost in the mail – again!

Of course, having been married to Geneva Mayor Kevin Burns, I fervently believe that Terry should’ve won a Nobel Peace Prize, and I’ll be talking to those Swedish folks shortly. But let’s not sully this fine occasion with any kind of negativity.

Among her many accomplishments, Terry brought in $200,000 in History Museum grants and donations that were applied to redesign their new stunning main gallery. I could continue to embarrass Ms. Emma with yet more praise, but the Chronicle already did a fine job of doing just that!

Upon calling Terry to congratulate her, I have to say I had a blast talking with someone who’s truly enjoying life and is beyond excited about what the future might bring. That kind of perspective always proves to be quite contagious!

Good job Geneva Chamber of Commerce and good job Terry. You deserve it!


Just Dance!

I know all this community support has made you kind of dizzy, but since I’m clearly on a roll, why stop now? There’s always the possibility that some of your heads will summarily explode and I firmly believe every last Geneva male should take their significant other to the Vargo’s Dance Studio Friday night beginner East Coast Swing class.

For a mere sawbuck ($10) per student you get 45 minutes of expert instruction from Carl Linder and studio owner Jamie Vargo, you get another 20 minutes of supervised practice time, and you can even BYOB. How can anything possibly get better than that?

And trust me, if Jamie and Carl ever give up the whole dance thing, they could go on the road as a comedy team – the class is quite entertaining.

Jamie Vargo
The Lovely Jamie Vargo

As a result of our tenure at Vargo’s, my wife and I have moved up to the West Coast Swing class, and I’ll be shortly taking adult tap lessons with the Geneva Park District. Not only is dancing flat out fun, but it’s made me a far better athlete.

It’s not just swing, either. Vargo’s offers a variety of adult classes which you can see for yourself right here.

And guys! If you take your wife or girlfriend out dancing on a Friday night, not only will she be completely shocked, but the odds of you getting’ lucky later will increase exponentially. C’mon! What have you got to lose but your whiteness!



Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Lastly, my long-time readers know Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite holiday, and my fondest wish is that you enjoy it as much as I do.

I’m certainly thankful for the kind of regular readership that’s incited me into doing this for more than 13 years, and I’ve enjoyed every second of it!

Since I could use four days off, I’ll likely run another Curmudgeon book chapter on Friday!

7 thoughts on “Quick Hits – November 27, 2019

  1. First of all Jeff I would like to say Happy Thanksgiving and I agree probably best holiday of the year. Secondly your columns on the area is something I truly am thankful for. Don’t always agree but always informative
    Finally as to women’s march. Let them have at it. However I would like to point out since women got the vote: a Great Depression a world war a Cold War Korea Viet Nam assassinations more war and Clintons and Trump. Maybe that franchise not a good idea
    Am kidding before everyone goes crazy
    Enjoy the turkey

    1. Cary,

      I LOVE agreeing to disagree. And other people have suggest that I should expand, and I’m sure I could build the sources, but it would be a daunting task for a one-man operation.

      If I could get subscribers like Rich Miller has, it would be different, but he’s pretty much got that market cornered.

      And thank you for the compliment!


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