Quick Hits – March 7, 2024

Just when you think Kane County Republicans can’t get any dumber…

That’s exactly what they do!

Because last Saturday afternoon the GOP loons assembled at the Batavia Chick-fil-A on Randall Road to protest county chairman Corrine Pierog’s impending declaration making Kane a sanctuary county. Apparently, someone made some shit up on social media and the lemmings couldn’t pass up an opportunity to demonstrate their complete lack of critical thinking.

The first hilarity is they chose to assemble at a bad anti-gay fast-food joint as if that would somehow lend credence to their cause. Sadly, it only made people laugh at point fingers at them.

The second is EVERY LAST Illinois county has already been designated with the “sanctuary” status. Why? Because REPUBLICAN governor Bruce Rauner did just that back in 2017 when he signed the Trust Act into law. And no county board can redo or undo what the legislature and governor has already done.

The Act that made it illegal for non-federal law enforcement to inquire about or detain an individual solely on the basis of their potential immigration status. But rather than apply any form of due diligence or attempt to get their two remaining brain cells to communicate with each other, our KC GOP would rather waste everyone’s time and look like complete idiots in the process.

This act of incredible stupidity comes on top of the same gaggle commandeering a county board meeting after convincing themselves chairman Pierog was about to unilaterally grant Kane County sanctuary status.

Of course, all they had to do was check the meeting agenda which, by law, must be posted at least 48 hours before the event. Had they done so, they would’ve swiftly noted that no such proclamation was imminent. And if it ain’t on the agenda, the Open Meetings Act frowns upon any governing body making it up as you go along.

And all of this right before an election, too!

Though it’s essentially the equivalent of spitting into the wind, I’d wholeheartedly encourage my Republican brethren and sistren to truly consider Mark Twain’s admonition regarding how opening their collective mouths allways removes all doubt.

The Supreme Court got it right!

Though the Republican Party can’t currently be topped for outright stupidity, our liberal and progressive counterparts frequently make their best effort to prove otherwise. To wit, I don’t understand all of the shrieking and howling surrounding the Supreme Court’s unanimous ruling to keep the Grand Cheeto on the ballot in all states.

The worst that can be said about our highest court is they did their best to dodge the insurrectionist bullet, but they did so on the blatant basis of not being able to get there from here. They correctly ruled – again unanimously – that states don’t have the power to remove a federal candidate from the ballot. It’s a lot messier and more complicated than we can get into here, but the bottom SCOTUS line is only Congress can take that disqualifying step.

Think about it for a second. Imagine if individual states could remove a presidential contender from those evil electronic voting machines. Wisconsin, where good sense goes to die, seriously considered removing a duly elected state Supreme Court justice because the conservative legislature didn’t like her politics. And if they’re willing to go as far as contemplating that…

In order for Trump to be banned from the ballot, he will have to be convicted at his fall trial – which is exactly what’s going to happen.

But despite the obvious truth involved, my fellow liberals, and every last nitwit progressive, are hooting and hollering that the Supreme Court subverted the will of our forefathers. And the race to Idiocracy is on!

Little crap houses for you and me

Is that how the John Mellencamp song goes? It just might if you live in East Dundee

Having clearly graduated magna cum laude from the Jeff Ward school of winning friends and influencing people, Crystal Lake developer Joseph Billitteri of Billitteri Enterprises applied a rather strange charm offensive at the February 19 East Dundee village board meeting.

Billitteri was hoping to win a zoning change approval so he could build two small apartment buildings at 406 and 408 Barrington Avenue, the site of a former village pumping station. As is often the case when attempting to insert a multi-family development into a single-family setting, the meeting descended into contentiousness when a group of residents showed up to protest the project.

So, what did Billitteri do to convince the pitchfork and torch bearing mob that their property values would actually go up? Did he provide a PowerPoint demonstration supporting that theory? Did he present a statistical analysis proving he was on sound economic ground? Did he assure the village board that he would adequately address any and all of the neighbors’ concerns before a shovel hit the dirt?

No, he did not! He decided to take another tack entirely.

Billiterri argued that, given the poor condition of some of the nearby homes, his project could only improve that fading curb appeal, specifically stating, “That neighborhood, in particular, has some really beautiful homes, and there’s some really crappy ones, too.”

When that fascinating declaration didn’t do the trick, instead of taking a hint and shutting up, Billiterri thought it would be a good idea to double down with, “I pay more taxes than all of you combined.” That, of course, rendered the “crappy houses” comment mild by comparison, and it forced a trustee to castigate both sides for letting the meeting become “toxic.”

Then the discussion was tabled until March.

I swear you can’t make this shit up! Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think Billiterri Enterprises is gonna be gettin’ that gig anytime soon. On the bright side, I’m thinkin’ East Dundee could sell tickets to any further Billiterri appearance.