Quick Hits – February 11, 2016

Quick Hits – February 11, 2016

And the sun rose in the east

So that socialist, Marxist, country hating President finally came back to Springfield and he didn’t say a word about raising taxes. He didn’t dump on Republicans. He didn’t force them all to sing Communist songs. All he really did was ask the perpetual political question, “Why can’t we all just get along!”

Oberweis selfieRepublicans clapped at the Republican points and Democrats clapped at the Democratic points and nothing changed. In fact, the two parties were right back at it before the President’s 6 foot, 1 inch shadow made it all the way out the chamber doors.

But I will say it was kind of fun watching all the excited Springfield Assemblymen take their with-the-President long-range selfies. Even 25th District State Senator Oberweis got in on the act – while displaying the appropriate GOP scowl at all times, of course.

Meanwhile, the Sun-Times Editorial Board nailed it with this one.


To the left, to the left

Oy! Jewish mothers everywhere are all meshugge over the fact that conservatives insist upon stealing their shtick. Talk about perfecting the art of taking offense!

BeyonceNow, you’ll have to forgive me, but I’ve never been a big Beyonce fan – until now, that is. Because anyone who can send the Tea Party into those kinds of conniptions with a mere costume has gotta have something to them.

That’s right! Deal with it. I just joined the Beyhive. (If you liked it then you should’ve put a ring on it.)

By the conservative reaction to her faux Black Panther outfit and new ‘Formation’ song you’d a thunk there’d been another wardrobe malfunction. Not only did Rudy Giuliani’s comb-over stand straight on end, but the rightwing howling and rending of garments was truly something to be see.

They called her act anti-police, anti-Caucasian, hate speech, and an affront to white sensibilities everywhere. Then pasty old white men proceeded to tell her exactly how a young black woman should behave. Why, white folks are even going as far as staging a protest right outside the NFL’s New York Headquarters.

I’m sure her record sales will go into a complete nosedive.

To bring this story back to a more local irony, why is it when Elgin cop Jason Lentz, U-46 School Board loon Jeanette Ward, or radio show host Joe Walsh spew their racist venom, local conservatives start running around in circles with their arms in the air shrieking “it’s free speech, it’s free speech.” But when an entertainer makes the kind of statement that entertainers have been making for years, they suddenly forget the First Amendment exists.

Fox News was right! There is no Racism in America!


Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead

Damn that Elgin Mayor Dave Kaptain! He wuz right!

Dave Kaptain

Dave told me that any single statement disavowing any familial ties with our ultra-rightwing U-46 School Board loon Jeanette Ward would be utterly ineffective. He said dousing this dastardly rumor would require at least five or six such declarations.

So after the very same question came hurtling at me yesterday, I suppose it’s time to move onto the second statement. I, Jeff Ward, being of unsound mind and body, do hereby swear that I am not related to Jeanette Ward in any way shape or form.

Though I can’t help thinking how interesting Christmas dinner would be if we were.

Quick Hits

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