Quick Hits – December 22, 2017

Quick Hits – December 22, 2017

A reminder!

Unless a really big local story breaks or I feel particularly inspired, Quick Hits will be taking Christmas through New Year’s Day off. Between the LSAT and all the recent writing, I’m really looking forward to a mental break.

And after that brief respite, given the need to contend with a heightened campaign season and an April 2 ‘So You Wanna Win a Local Election’ book rollout, Quick Hits will likely move from MWF to Tuesdays and Thursdays, with some sporadic content thrown in in between.


This is flippin’ hilarious!

A Dayton, Ohio, family came up with the perfect holiday gift for their son Jake’s teachers! It was bottles of wine emblazoned with his gleaming visage, bearing the inscription, “Our child might be the reason you drink, so enjoy this bottle on us!”

Wine Bottles

This incredibly funny and self-deprecating gesture has fully restored my faith in my fellowman, at least through Christmas week, after which, I’m sure somebody somewhere will do something stupid enough to remind me why that faith was utterly misplaced.


Yes! It really is a travesty, Your Honor!

Judge D. J. Tegeler said it was an “absolute travesty” that attempted murder defendant Scott Turyna could not be placed under the now defunct Kane County court GPS monitoring system. And I agree! But probably not for the same reasons

Briefly, Turyna, who was disarmed by then St. Charles School Board President Steven Spurling, fired five shots at his wife who lay bleeding in their driveway.

Judge D. J. Tegler

But Yes! It certainly is a travesty that Chief Judge Susan Clancy Boles and Court Services Director Lisa Aust used the GPS monitoring program as an ill-advised bargaining chip in a battle to avoid the 3.6 percent budget cuts that virtually every other department head went along with.

Former Chief Judge Judith Brawka didn’t have these kinds of problems because she was smart enough to work with the County Board, and not arrogant enough work against them.

Even now, instead of maintaining their own fiefdoms, if those 16th Circuit Judges voted to implement our previously discussed DeKalb County-esque courtroom efficiencies, the GPS program could be brought back in a flash.

It would also be nice if they actually worked a full day for those 200 grand salaries (To be fair, Tegeler puts in more hours than most judges.)

But that aint’ about to happen, is it Your Honor? And that’s the real travesty.


Do I really have to say it again?

Look, I love the whole journalism thing, and I love (most of) my readers, too. Why, I frequently propose to the women AND men who manage to come up with a cogent point or counterpoint. But lately, some of y’all are starting to drive me crazy – not that it’s a very long trip.

And that includes one high-ranking KCSAO prosecutor who, under the guise of anonymity, insists upon leveling personal attacks through this blog. Apparently, wielding the full power of the people isn’t nearly enough for some people.

For folks who regularly put people in jail, the average prosecutor’s ultra-thin skin is a most magnificent irony.

Considering the vast amount of unpaid time that goes into producing Quick Hits, and the fact that it doesn’t help my business – it actually hurts it , there’s certain shit up with which I will not put. And that list includes:

1. Don’t make me the story. If you want to bitch about my dismal IQ, my lack of moral fiber, or my lengthy criminal record, pry your lazy white ass off the sofa long enough to start your own blog and build your own audience. Because you’re not going to do it on my time or in my space.

2. If you actually have an idea, by all means, agree or disagree with me as vigorously as you like. If, like State Rep Anna Moeller, you refer to me as “rude and obnoxious,” I’ll give you bonus points for creativity. But if you insist upon engaging in the kind of stupidity I simply cannot condone, not only will you be prevented from commenting on the blog, but you will be added to my already lengthy 140 person Facebook blocked list.

Put more simply, since you can’t fix stupid, I’m not even gonna try.

3. This really is a subset of point 2, but if, after I make a well-reasoned argument while providing a reasonable amount of evidence, and someone demands that I provide more proof while failing to offer anything other than, “I think you’re wrong because that’s what I think,” you’re gone!

And that’s especially true if you continue to press me after I explain that the time I spend on Quick Hits has to be finite.

Again! Pry your lazy white ass off the couch long enough to do your own damn homework and logically rebut my point, or perhaps you can pay me to research the requested data. But to demand that I perform your due diligence at no charge? All I can say is the entitlement mentality of some of ya’ll is way beyond the fuckin’ pale.

4. Before you go after me, please consider my entire body of work. The fact that we’ve agreed 75 percent of the time – or even half the time – should count for something. But if you’re one of those folks who insists that I think in lockstep with you – something that would certainly give me a migraine – you’re gone!

With that out of the way, let’s continue the conversation.



Apparently, I’m not going to get to that why the U-46 School District should be broken up conclusion today. We’ll save that for the New Year, which will give me plenty of time to re-gird my loins for even more annoying responses.

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