It may be the end of the Uprising

Trying to be offensive for the sole purpose of being offensive should always deem one the least offensive of offenders. ― Author Criss Jami

Though it may be another ploy to gain sympathy, it appears as if the Lake in the Hills’ bakery that made the news for hosting a July 2022 family-friendly drag brunch will soon be closing for good. For reference purposes, that strange summer scenario started with a massive community backlash, followed by the City shutting the show down for zoning reasons, which solicited ACLU involvement, finally culminating in a 24-year-old idiot vandalizing the Uprising Bakery and being charged with a felony hate crime.

The show did go on, but the bakery has faced a litany of harassment including hateful comments on social media, “customers” spitting on display cases, bad online reviews, threatening phone calls, people photographing customers’ license plates, and a sign taped to the door reading “Pedophiles work here.”

Bakery owner Corinna Sac told the press that, “Closing our doors is the direct result of the horrific attacks, endless harassment, and unrelenting negative misinformation about our establishment in the last eight months.”

We’ve discussed this strange phenomenon before. Back in my Tri-Cities Soccer Association travel coaching days, we’d loathe playing teams from the Lake in the Hills/Huntley area because the parents were out of control, their children were even worse, and it never ended well. I swear there’s either something in the water out there, or they administer an IQ test to prospective residents barring anyone with a score above 60 from moving in.

Proof positive of my low IQ theory is, despite whatever those folks might think, there’s absolutely no correlation between being gay and pedophilia.

If you don’t care for a drag brunch, THEN DON’T GO! But to harass a business out of an intolerant ignorance is so far beyond the pale that it actually makes the Grand Cheeto seem reasonable by comparison.

It’s no secret that Lake in the Hills is where intelligence, common sense, tolerance, and the Christian ideal go to die, so what did Ms. Sac, a McHenry County native, think would happen when she advertised the event? She wanted free publicity for her business and she got it. It may not have been exactly what she hoped for, but that public reaction was eminently predictable.

That brings us to one of our main points which is, what’s the point in needlessly provoking Neanderthal’s? It’s too easy, it can be dangerous, and you make yourself a target. It’s one thing for an opinion columnist to afflict the comfortable, but it another thing entirely to try to turn it into a successful business model.

All of this, of course, begs the deeper question, when did hosting a drag event – often aimed at children – become the lynchpin of demonstrable progressivism? Even the great gay filmmaker, John Waters, who’s made movies about drag queens, responded to Bill Maher’s question about drag queen story hour with, “Are you really surprised that some people get upset about that?”

No! And no one else should be, either because it doesn’t take a rocketry degree to understand that it’s an utterly unnecessary provocation. But that doesn’t stop the left from shrieking that they’re being persecuted when conservatives inevitably take the bait.

For the record, the GOP faithful is no better in this regard, but this column isn’t about them.

The real irony is that both the far left and far right share a common insistence on putting gender, sexuality, and race before everything and it’s always counterproductive. Progressive absurdities like personal pronouns, “birthing people” supplanting the word “mother,” and “children-friendly” drag events only serve to set the tolerance clock back at least two decades.

To wit, NPR recently reported that various states have introduced 306 separate bills targeting transgendered people over the last two years, with 86 percent of them directed at trans youths. Just 15 percent have made it into the books, but that still means 49 of them are now law. Were I a trans individual, I’d tell progressive to shut the F up and take my chances with the bigots.

In the end, despite her vocal claims to the contrary, I’m convinced that Ms. Sac is a professional victim.

First, she announced she’s bisexual, a pointless admission which further puts her in the crosshairs. People who truly matter don’t give a flying bleep about your sexuality. I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, bisexual, or any of the other alphabetic possibilities, and really I don’t want to know because it’s none of my goddamn business.

If you fall in love with your Camry, all I ask is that you be considerate and keep the garage door shut.

And the natural progression of this putting your gender cards on the table dynamic is truly terrifying. It started with preferred pronouns and the ever-expanding LGBTQIA+ alphabet soup, and next thing you know, the Cancel Culture will insist we start listing our preferred sexual acts, too.

Sac whined about how Lake in the Hills tried to stop the drag brunch because her business wasn’t zoned for entertainment. Then she was shocked and appalled that Uprising was vandalized. Now she’s complaining that the fallout might cost her her business after she’s put every penny she owns into it.

But these things never end that simply, do they?

My best guess is that some sympathetic donors will come up with the cash to keep Uprising open and the bakery and conservatives will continue to needlessly provoke each other until something truly terrible happens. Then the players on both sides will feign great astonishment when it does.

I never thought the day would come when I’d say I’m glad I live in Geneva.