Oh my fucking lord! As if I had much of a filter to begin with.
And the thought of coming out of retirement only to have to deal with the likes of you complete fucking morons, who have absolutely no appreciation of how good journalism positively affects the political process, much less being able to define what good journalism is, is truly terrifying.
But it’s the whole fools and angels treading thing, isn’t it? There are some things that require the treatment that only a seasoned non-partisan journalist can provide. That said, I’m gonna keep this brief because I refuse to waste another second of time on you fucking idiots.
And I only mean that in the most polite and respectful way.
So, the Courier-News, which doesn’t even exist as an entity, finally reported how soon-to-be former Elgin city councilman John Steffen failed so horrifically in his electoral paperwork, that he won’t be on the impending 2027 ballot. If you don’t have your Statement of Candidacy notarized, and worse yet, fail to sign it, bad things tend to happen.
Who knew?
But what makes this even better is Courier-News reporter Rick West’s take on this incredibly stupid story. Apparently Rick, who got his journalism degree at Joe’s School of Auto Mechanics, Beauty, and Journalism, doesn’t really get it. Rick wrote, and I quote, “In an email to the Daily Herald, Steffen said he wasn’t ready to comment or reveal whether he felt he had any recourse.”
Recourse? For what, Rick? An emergency court injunction forcing the county clerk to forge John’s signature for him? A judicial decree excusing lawyers from basic literacy? The Electoral Board doesn’t offer do-overs because you’re a fucking idiot incumbent
He has no fucking recourse, and the reporter should’ve duly noted that. Either one of those faux pas was fatal to his candidacy, and those omissions are particularly egregious on the part of a practicing attorney.
Please keep in mind that John is a five-term incumbent. He has filed these exact same forms five goddamn times before. This isn’t some 22-year-old civic activist getting tripped up on election board arcana; this is a twenty-year city council veteran and licensed attorney who managed to forget to write his own name on his own homework. You literally can’t make this shit up.
You clearly want to hire John if your ultimate goal is to tank your case. “Your honor. You mean I actually had to sign the motion?”
Meanwhile, Rick has a fine future as a human paperweight, something he was clearly destined to be.
Stick a fork in him because John Steffen, the second-most worthless Elgin city councilman ever to serve (after Corey Dixon) is done. But the best thing about this sordid scenario is that his batshit crazy delusions of Elgin grandeur wife, Kerry, will no longer have any direct influence on said city council.
It’s all good.
Now fuckin’ leave me alone.
