Perhaps our city councils should consider governing

Be mindful of the future but not at the expense of the present moment. – Qui-Gon Jinn

When we last left off with our halcyon neighbors to the west, the Elburn Village Board had unilaterally decided to triple cellphone distracted driving fines. Never mind they had no authority to supersede the State statute in that heinous a regard because, sitting squarely at 6,500 residents, the city doesn’t begin to measure up to the 25,000 number required for home rule to kick in.

My columnar theory was, how could any gaggle of self-respecting village trustees, a village president, and particularly a village attorney fail to grasp the very basis on which they derive their right to govern. To wit, if you’re not Home Rule, you can’t just make it up as you go along.

Of course, that 1971 Illinois statutory reality didn’t stop Trustee Chris Hansen from endlessly bitching about how the State had done him wrong. It sounds like a really bad country song, doesn’t it?

Shortly thereafter, the same board passed the kind of anti-migrant busing ordinance that was so patently illegal, it wouldn’t withstand a pro se constitutional challenge. So much for living up to the standard they just love to thrust upon everyone else.

Of course, Trustee Hansen’s response to the temporary migrant situation was:

I’m a fan of immigration, it’s what this country was founded on, but what we have here is insanity. I’m concerned about the safety of Elburn and its residents. Some of these people are human traffickers, terrorists, drug smugglers. We should be concerned with our own first.

Oh yeah! You’re a “fan” alright. Archie Bunker would be proud of that declaration.

But despite my roundly chastising that sad group for their frequent failure to reasonably and effectively govern, like a moth to the proverbial flame, they’re at it again. With Trustee Hansen leading the charge (who else?) one more time, Elburn is on the brink of passing an anti-public encampment ordinance to combat the hordes of homeless tents that regularly pop up along Route 47.

Per the intrepid Mr. Hansen, “Do we want to wait until there’s an issue?”

Actually Chris, considering the incredibly slim possibility of a tent city springing up anywhere in Elburn, or any other small Kane County municipality for that matter, it would behoove the village to take a more cautious approach because the alternative is to come off looking like a bunch of ideological loons who’d rather pander to their moronic MAGA base than serve the voters who elected them.

For further reference purposes, Hansen is also the proud President of DuKane ABATE, one of the most obnoxious and poorly regarded “organizations” in all of the Collar Counties.

I typically laud government entities for taking a proactive approach, but there has to be a remote possibility of the dire event coming to pass for it to be effective. But in the 24 years I’ve visited or passed through Elburn, I haven’t seen a single homeless person, much less any kind of tent propped up on Keslinger Road.

Barring the advent a major college campus, I don’t think the board has to worry about the sudden eruption of a pro-Palestinian encampment, either. Well, to be fair, there is Elburn’s renowned Nick’s University of Beauty and Car Repair, but those fine folks don’t strike me as the protesting type.

Ah! But since I have a reputation for being congenial and helpful, I’ve come up with a few more possibilities for our forward-thinking board to consider before they put the gavel to rest.

How about a Russian drone no-fly zone? There must be at least a couple of Ukrainian families in Elburn and you never know when the war is going to expand.

Or how about banning North Korean naval vessels from docking in the village? The fact that there’s no major body of water within 50 miles of Elburn notwithstanding, those North Koreans can be a rather tricky bunch.

Last, but not least, may I humbly suggest a moratorium on the Japanese buying up Elburn businesses. First it’s US Steel and then it’s Ream’s Market.

What I really want to know is, where has Village President Jeff Walter been in these three fiascos? The singular pretext for a small town mayor/village president’s existence is to keep his or her city council minions on task. Because, left to their own devices, they’re too easily distracted by bright and shiny political objects.

And my hometown city of Geneva city council is just as bad, if not worse. Though they tend to run towards the progressive side.

Councilcreature Becky Hruby, who purports to be a grown adult, got red faced, trembled uncontrollably, and nearly started sobbing in regard to a more than reasonable east side TIFF district vote. Then, just for good measure, she accused her cohorts of engaging in a conspiracy, she completely misrepresented D304’s stance on the subject, and then she accused the City of breaking the law in the process.  

Becks must be a real hoot at parties.

And what was the underlying issue? Some 100-year-old trees that were cut down BEFORE Geneva managed to annex the land.

Whether it’s Geneva’s liberal or Elburn’s conservative council, all the identity politics and ideological “initiatives” ever really accomplish is wasting a whole lot of the board’s, city staff, and ultimately, the residents’ time. I could write ten columns on the issues Elburn should be addressing LONG before they consider a ban on encampments that will NEVER happen.

So, much like my Geneva offer, I’d be more than willing to run the campaigns of reasonable village board candidates who believe that good governance should be their ultimate priority. And I’d do it at the friends and family rate, too.

Though from a purely prurient point of view, I can’t wait to see what Hansen comes up with next.