Be still my beating heart!
So, Kane County Chairman Chris Lauzen broke a tie vote to reimburse himself for a $34 book? Why, the scurrilous scoundrel! I’m thinking death penalty here! C’mon! What’s next? Cutting tags off mattresses, providing accounts of Cubs games without Major League Baseball’s express written consent, and putting money in other peoples’ parking meters?
Of course, in their precipitous plunge to the journalistic bottom – they haven’t managed to find it yet – the Daily Herald made this non-story headline news. And they managed to get it wrong again, too!
You see, the aforementioned book wasn’t about Bitcoin, a cryptocurrency, as Jim Fuller reported, it was on Blockchain technology, a different animal entirely. According to IBM:
“Blockchain is a shared immutable ledger for recording the history of transactions. A business blockchain, such as IBM Blockchain and the Linux Foundation’s Hyperledger Project, provides a permissioned network with known identities.”
Apparently Mr. Fuller can’t even get the time right twice a day!
Put more simply, Blockchain is a far more secure version of the Internet. Cities like Austin, Texas, are using it to track the homeless, and Blockchain may be the answer to bulletproof Internet voting. The public-sector applications are virtually endless.
So, I don’t know about you, but I’ll personally pay that $34, because I kinda like the notion of a County chairman who keeps up with the latest technologies. I don’t know if I would’ve broken that tie to reimburse myself, but you certainly can’t accuse the man of trying to hide anything!
And the real irony is, while the Daily Herald gave former Chairman Karen McConnaughay a pass on completely redefining the term “pay-to-play, going after Lauzen for a $34 book makes them look mean, petty, and not too bright.
All Ms. McConnaughay had to do is bat her eyelashes at John Lampinen, Jim Slusher, Jim Baumann and the rest of those incompetent editors and they lauded her artificial virtue at every turn. After all, they have very delicate sensibilities.
But wait, there’s more!
Liberal outrage has become such a powerful addiction that Aurora State Rep Stephanie Kifowit just had to rally the Democratic regulars and propose sainthood for those stalwart board members who furiously wept as they took a stand on a $34 book.
I’m thinkin’ reality show!
To be fair, I’ve always liked and admired Ms. Kifowit. Any woman who can make it in the Marine Corps deserves our utmost respect. But with no disrespect intended, I’ll take Chairman Lauzen, his $34 book, and a six-year flat tax levy over the fiscal devastation wrought by that Democratic Springfield supermajority every time.
As for those pious mostly Democratic board members who voted against the $34 book, when you give up the full pension and Cadillac health care benefits you get for a very part-time job, I’ll take you all a lot more seriously.
Let’s all move on to more important things.
You were right!
To all those folks who insisted that union members who crossed the probation picket line were scabs, you were right and I wuz wrong! I always thought the word “scab” was reserved for non-union folks taking union jobs.
But what frosts my flakes (just a little) is, the rabble’s ongoing theory that, if they don’t like a column, they can use something as simple as a spelling error to dismiss the entire thing. But if they love it, the most massive factual error won’t deter their effusive praise in any way.
So yes! Twenty-five probation workers crossed the line, but since the strike had nothing to do with scab workers, and my column had everything do with a Teamsters local that had no clue, my point remains unchanged, despite that minor connotational error.
And that point was to use those utterly out-of-place giant inflatable animals as a metaphor for Teamster 330’s complete failure to understand a public-sector strike. If I were one of those probation workers, I’d be lobbying to bring in a new union in right now.
I’m glad we cleared that up.
But I am right on this one!
Repeat after me class! COUNTY CHAIRMEN ARE NOT CEOs, as so many of you insisted in replies to the same strike story. Though they both lead large entities and they generally report to shareholders/voters, that’s where the similarities begin and end.
I’m also convinced that none a y’all know that Illinois has three separate forms of county government, none of which are analogous to a corporate structure. Cook County always makes their own rules, there’s another set of statutes for counties with at least 500,000 people like the collar variety, and then there’s all the rest.
Once hired, within the bound of the law, CEO’s have absolute power over that business and everyone in it. A county chairman has no such authority. In fact, once their budget is set, the chairman cannot interfere with the countywide elected officials’ process for any reason.
All he or she can do is make suggestions. That doesn’t sound like any CEO I know!
CEOs can implement, change or remove corporate policies as they see fit. But the Kane County chairman has to amass 13 board votes before anything changes, and that’s kinda like herding cats.
CEOs say “jump,” and if their underlings want to keep their jobs, they reply, “How high?” Collar County chairmen don’t get to vote unless there’s a tie. They’re forced to rely on their powers of persuasion to get anything done.
CEOs get seven-figure salaries and amazing perks. The Kane County chairman makes about $110,000 and gets the same benefits as your lowly part-time board member.
Depending upon the industry, CEOs occasionally have to contend with some strange statutory requirements. Ah! But chairmen have to deal with interminable volumes of state laws, most of which contain unfunded mandates.
To put it in the simplest terms possible, CEOs preside over varying degrees of what should be a benevolent dictatorship, while County chairman are travel soccer coaches at best. That’s why you’ll never see me run for that office.
I’m glad we cleared that one up, too!