Since Tuesday’s Quick Hits worked out so well, let’s give it another shot!
Enter Sandman
I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. — Anonymous
Though we’ve covered the issue of 16th District County Board member Mike Kenyon (South Elgin/Bartlet) sleeping through meetings at least twice previously, this is the first time we have photographic evidence of his lack of concern for public appearances.
My thanks go out to reader Enoch Essendrop for providing The First Ward with that incontrovertible evidence as well as his insistence that I give him credit for it here.
What you’re seeing is Mike Kenyon getting paid 25 grand a year, plus a Cadillac benefits package you and I can only dream of, to sleep through meetings. I suppose there’s something to be said for simply showing up, but that prospect is mitigated by our board member voting on agenda items without having heard the debate.
Considering this somnambulism has gone on for the better part of five years and every board members talks about it, I’d be willing to bet there’s some sort of medical issue involved. But if that’s the case, then Mr. Kenyon needs to address the problem or step down in favor of someone who can stay awake for at least two hours during the day.
Mike told me he used to run marathons for God’s sake. So, he knows how to take care of himself.
I understand that being an elected official can be so addicting that many of ‘em strive to serve well past their prime. Mitch McConnell and the late Diane Feinstein are perfect examples of what I speak. But you’re doing your constituents no favor by becoming utterly ineffective in the process.
Mike! It’s time to fix the problem or step down because The First Ward ain’t about to let go of this anytime soon.
They can’t give ‘em away!
Let’s move on to another topic we’ve tackled before.
After regularly heading up to ECC’s Blizzard theater for five or six shows a year for 20 years, my wife and haven’t darkened that Arts Center doorway since comedian Lewis Black performed the week before the 2020 COVID “mitigations” shut everything down.
The reason we haven’t been back, despite having a healthy credit on file, is there’s nothing worth seeing.
Back in January I warned those fine ECC folks that, unless they relented on their newfound hyper-non-offensive wokeness and gave their formerly steadfast patrons what they’d come to expect, it would only get worse. And that’s exactly what’s happened.
For the first time I can remember, we’re receiving emails and snail mail flyers offering two-for-one ticket prices. And tthe current $40 per ticket pricing is already at least 33 percent below pre-pandemic levels. Put more simply, they can’t give those tickets away.
One of those discounted shows is The Wonder Bread Years with Seinfeld writer Pat Hazell. The show has garnered some great reviews, but it’s obviously not most Blizzard patrons’ cup of tea. The theatre has been heavily promoting it, too.
They offered the same deal for the recent The Crossroads Project, which ECC described as”
A live performance experience that weaves art and science together through powerful music, compelling prose, and stunning visual imagery that address global sustainability to provide a path toward meaningful response.
The truth is I could barely make it through that without falling asleep.
Then there’s Nobuntu, a female a cappella quartet from Zimbabwe. I’m sure they’re great performers and I wish them the best, but I’d rather watch a Gilligan’s Island rerun.
A Carpenter’s Christmas?
Does this planet really require a Carpenter’s cover band at 45 bucks a pop? Terra naturalis performed by various youth orchestras? I’m sure they’re quite good, but not even the lower $30 ticket price can pry my butt out of the Barcalounger for that one. The Ensemble Espanol Spanish Dance Theater, Bachelors of Broadway, and Trailblazing Women of Country? Nope, Nope, and Nope!
In my youth I might’ve jumped at some of those ethnic and more esoteric acts, but in my old age I want to recapture my youth by watching old male and female musicians trying to recapture theirs.
The Blizzard once offered stellar acts like Dave Mason, Roger McGuinn, Let Kottke, Graham Nash, Lewis Black, Who’s Line, Loudon Wainwright III, Pat Metheny, and great soul music performers – almost all of which sold out. But now Mr. Metheny’s appearing in Waukegan, instead.
The real irony is, while so many businesses and restaurants flounder trying to find their audience, the Blizzard nailed it right from the start. For better or worse, it was older white folks who grew up on George Carlin, Richard Pryor, and classic rock. But now, in an absurd race to an unbounded wokeness and desperate not to offend absolutely anyone, those acts are long gone.
My friend, attorney, and former ECC trustee Jeff Meyer told me that the Blizzard used to make a profit. But now they’re offering two-for-one deals on $40 tickets.
Listen up Blizzard Theater directors! There’s no reason you can’t present those classic rock and edgy standup shows interspersed with the more ethnic and esoteric possibilities. Because if you don’t effectively reach out to your former core audience soon, you’ll lose them forever, and then you’ll have to start begging the ECC board to cover the inevitable operating deficit.
And then heads will roll.
