Since I received some fascinating feedback from my July 28 column, particularly on the frequently defaced Geneva Pride fire hydrant, I thought I’d share those comments that as well as my thoughts on their thoughts.
No political statements on public property
Everyone agreed with my basic contention that municipalities shouldn’t be endorsing a political point of view on a public proposition like a fire hydrant because it opens the door to fringe group declarations and rarely ends well.
One reader put the exclamation mark on that reality when they reminded me of lunacy that befell Elgin after someone realized a City supported mural actually depicted the crowd observing an Indiana lynching.
Again, if we allow Pride colors it opens the door to the Proud Boys, Antifa, and Q-Anon supporters making artistic hydrant statements that would likely be even more controversial than this one.
Art for art’s sake is always fun, but anything else inevitably turns into a waste of everyone’s time. The police, the courts, and city staffers have far better things to do that to babysit a fire hydrant.
Why just that hydrant?
The most interesting reader contention was, “Why just this fire hydrant?” This reader astutely noted that, unlike it was in Batavia, the plethora of pride flags adorning so many Geneva front lawns have been utterly unmolested.
If, as Mayor Burns’ recent diatribe implied, there was some sort of burgeoning Geneva anti-LGBTQ movement, wouldn’t it be rather myopic for them to target just one Pride symbol?
That same reader provided me with one possibility, and after ruminating on it for a while, I came up with two more.
Could it be the artist herself?
It wasn’t too terribly difficult to confirm that reader’s contention that, when it comes to burning bridges, hydrant artist Chrissy Swanson makes this journalist look like Mother Teresa. To say Ms. Swanson is not well-liked would be the most massive of understatements.
And that kind of animosity would go quite a ways towards explaining why her Pride art is the only one being vandalized. There are times when Geneva can be a rather petty place.
A Chronicle self-perpetuating feedback loop
As interesting as the previous possibility is, I don’t think personal vendettas are the only answer. The greater probability is, by covering each iteration of hydrant defacement ad nauseum, the Kane County Chronicle is succumbing to their vast penchant to create, and not simply report, the news.
I understand why they initially covered the issue, but five separate 800-word articles on what essentially amounts to a non-story? And every time they “report” hydrant damage it only serves to incite the next vandal who similarly wants to see their handiwork in the newspaper.
Put more simply, the Chronicle, already infamous for going after the low-hanging fruit, went after this story because they knew it would generate more low-hanging fruit and they wouldn’t have to make the effort that real reporting requires.
It’s not technically unethical, but it’s nothing to be proud of, either. Had they let the story go after the first report, as they should have, I’m convinced the vandals would’ve long since lost interest.
This theory would also greatly explain why that fire hydrant has been the only Pride symbol damage.
And speaking of the Chronicle…
Just when you think they can’t sink any lower, the Chronicle made a point of not only noting that a miscreant painted a nasty acronym on that hydrant, but then they went out of their way to explain exactly what it meant. For what possible purpose would they report that other than to make this already unfortunate situation so much worse?
I had no clue what that garbage meant, and if I didn’t know then most of you probably don’t, either. Of course, I’m not going to spell it out other than to say it involved the notion of suicide.
Wouldn’t you think that someone at that newspaper would’ve demonstrated a minimum of common sense by sparing us those unnecessary details? There’s a reason the cameras immediately turn away whenever some idiot runs out onto the football field – they don’t want to encourage the next loon to do the same thing.
Be careful upon whom you bestow power
Never one to miss an opportunity to pander to progressive Genevans in an effort to rehabilitate his tarnished image, Mayor Burns leapt into the fire hydrant fray by unceremoniously denouncing the vandals during a recent city council meeting.
So much for making a difficult stand. What’s next, Kevin? Calling out sexual predators? If only the mayor was equally as zealous about cutting taxes, reducing fees, and actually serving his constituents.
Much as we’ve already discussed, all his sanctimonious diatribe will do is guarantee that the hydrant will continue to be defaced for the foreseeable future. It would seem that no one understands the concept of inciting an equal and opposite political action anymore.
And speaking of rehabilitated images…
Given my persistent magnanimous propensities, instead of tearing Mayor Burns the new one he so richly deserves for his attempt at playing the political chameleon, this time I’ll do my best to help him in the refurbished image regard.
And I’m gonna jump on the mayor’s bandwagon because I refuse to believe his incipient Mr. Rogers personality paradigm is the result of barely beating the worst candidate on the planet in 2021. No! Much like it was with the Grinch, I’m convinced his modified mien is the result of his minuscule heart growing three sizes the day after that election.
So, in a good faith effort to do my part, I will NOT mention any of the following going forward other than to remind you that I’m NOT mentioning them, because if I didn’t remind you of what I’m not mentioning, then how would you know what I wasn’t mentioning?
I hope that made sense to you because I’m still trying to figure it out. Regardless, without further ado, I will no longer note that the mayor:
- Was allowed to slide on up to eight DUIs by the Geneva Police
- Uses the GPD and his mayoral powers as weapons against his political opponents
- Generated the kind of police reports that forced his ex-wife to get an order of protection
- Uses Geneva staffers, particularly Public Works and the Fire Department, as “volunteer” campaign workers.
- Ran a car off Fabyan Parkway in a fit of road rage and bought his way out of it
- Has regularly been caught slurring his words at public events like the Christmas tree lighting
- Showed up to a county board meeting where at least three witnesses said he was drunk
- Until they caught on, used the press as a weapon against his opponents by revealing what should’ve been privileged information
- Regularly screamed at recalcitrant alderman during council meetings until his face was beet red
- Similarly screamed at public speakers who didn’t fit his narrative
- Has never been able to hold a job
- Used his city cellphone to send disparaging texts about another politician’s wife
- Is so vindictive that he’s completely alienated the Geneva business community as well as the Chamber of Commerce
Some folks might regard the mayor’s recent personality shift as nothing more than a transparent self-aggrandizing attempt to stay in power, but I refuse to fall into the ranks of those dastardly cynics. To make that sincerity abundantly clear, I’ll hammer this point home whenever the opportunity presents itself.
And some of you have the nerve to say I’m not a nice guy.
