The First Ward Report – The tyranny of the minority

Since I’ve apparently lost the will to live, in addition to taking the medical “experts” on last Tuesday, today, I’m gonna go after a vast minority group that imbues the term “bully” with an entirely new meaning.

To be fair, a great deal of that browbeating comes at the hands of their artificially “woke” and ardently progressive supporters, but sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference. I would also ask you to remember that I’m a classic Evanston liberal who really doesn’t care for either political party.

But this week I’ve run into two professionals who insisted on inserting their “preferred pronouns” in a business listing, and I dismissed both of ‘em faster than Joe Biden can forget he’s not married to his sister.

To back it up a bit, one of the newest endeavors on the part of the overzealous left and their Democrat sycophants is to attach “preferred pronouns” to all manner of communications and social media profiles. For example, straight men will generally use “he/him/his,” while straight women apply “she/her/hers.” The “woke” point being that if we “normalize” this kind of thing it makes it easier for our transgender brothers and sisters to issue the same sort of declaration.

For reference purposes, you might recall that former ‘Mandalorian’ actress Gina Carano placed herself directly in those Cancel Culture crosshairs by refusing to bow to their persistent whiny politics, listing her Twitter pronouns as “beep/bop/boop.”

Now, I thought it was a fuckin’ hilarious response to their baseless bullying, but those fun-loving leftist loons did not! They accused her of “mocking the trans community.” Oh lord! Satire really is a lost art.

The first, and not nearly the only problem with this pronoun absurdity, is that I don’t have time to keep track of it all, and even if I did, you’re not nearly important enough for me to make the extra effort.

It’s simple! The former Bruce Jenner looks like a women (kind of) and I will happily refer to her as “she.” The former Chastity Bono looks like a guy, so I will happily refer to him as “he.” Problem solved!

Don’t even try to bring up the whole Demi Lovato “they” and “them” for “non-binary” folks thing, because I’m just not going there. Please refer to the previous paragraph for my approach to this one, too. Of course, if I can’t quite determine what you currently are, then I’m not gonna risk using pronouns at all.

While I will continue to defend transgender folk’s right to that same Constitutional pursuit of happiness, the truth is they’re just 0.4 percent of the U.S. population and this pronoun bullshit opens the door to all sorts of similarly self-absorbed insanity.

Imagine if we all chose a “preferred greeting!” That bleepin’ list could go on forever! Hello, hey, wassup, bonjour, shalom, aloha, dude!, how’s it hanging, ola, wie gehts, privet, howdy, g’day and so on. Now, imagine if every less-than-one-percent minority group demanded similar special treatment. You’d have to carry a series of scorecards around with you for fear of “offending” everyone.

And trust me, this pronoun pugnacity is just another tragic example of how completely self-absorbed our culture has become. Everything’s always about you, right? And we just love to take offense, don’t we?

Here’s the best indicator of this decline-of-the-Roman-empire phenomenon! The only thing worse than calling Caitlyn Jenner “he,” is being utterly nonplussed by her “transformation.” And the only reason anyone would want to be referred to as “they” or “them” is to ram their bisexuality down everyone else’s throat.

To wit, the aforementioned Ms. Lovato gets more press for her seemingly random sexuality pronouncements than for her music, which when you consider her lack of talent, probably isn’t too terribly surprising.

It’s just like a toddler who, left parentally unchecked, persistently demands attention. “Look at me, look at me, look at me!” Think about it! If someone referring to you as “he” or “she” completely ruins your day, then you have wayyyyy too much fuckin’ time on your hands.

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty happy if I can make it a full 24 hours with someone addressing me with a string of epithets. As I like to say, if you set the bar low, you’ll never be disappointed.

So, here’s the bottom line.

I am utterly uninterested in your sexuality and that includes avoiding any explanation of it, too. I don’t care if you’re in love with your Ford Focus, as long as you keep the garage door closed, we’re good! And the mere thought of bearing witness to any of my portly pasty white suburban neighbors engaged in a carnal embrace truly makes me want immediately follow in Oedipus’ ophthalmological footsteps.

It’s not that I’m the least bit puritanical, because I’m not, but who or what you choose to consensually boink is the last thing I’d use to define you. Call me crazy, but I’d prefer to start with your character!

But here’s the truly scary part! It’s always those regular upper-middle-aged middle-of-the-road folks who determine every major election. And as you may have noticed, those same regular folks tend to have a difficult time with social change. It’s human nature to cling to what we’ve been taught and to seek refuge in groupthink (see the Cancel Culture).

So, the swiftest way to ensure Donald Trump’s 2024 White House return is to continue to beat people over the head with over-the-top progressive stupidity like “preferred pronouns.” All it does is drive regular people directly into Agent Orange’s blustering bigoted and beckoning arms. Talk about winning a pointless battle only to lose the entire war!

So, no! You don’t get to bully people into acquiescing to the bullshit notion of “preferred pronouns” because your political, social, and cultural opinions stop right at the tip of my overly large nose, and that’s exactly the way it should be.

And if you list your “preferred pronouns” on a business listing, your social media or an email, have a nice life!