Quick Hits – March 28, 2024

Quick Hits – March 28, 2024

Turning it blue!

So, the Kane County Maga minions, led by no-threat-to-Mensa Republican chairman Andro Lerario, are hooting and hollering over Eric Stare and Fred Gripe beating incumbent GOP County board members Mike Kenyon and Mark Davoust. Meanwhile, anyone with a half-a-brain is laughing their asses over the irony that those two seats will now be turning bright blue in November.


Let’s start with how the local electoral landscape has become so MAGA-fied that no respectable Republican can win a primary – even in the demonstrably purple state of Illinois. So, while Lerario and his loony “Warriors” ilk are taking credit for those “victories,” short of buying votes, there’s nothing Kenyon or Davoust could’ve done to win.

Andro Lerario

The only reason District 12 GOP board incumbent Bill Roth survived his MAGA nitwit is the Lauzen campaign machine can still come up with the kind of well-rounded relentless effort that still matters.

The irony there, of course, is that Lauzen was forced to defend his hand-picked candidate against his hand-picked Party chairman. Chris never really figured out how to play well with others, has he?

But just as Kenyon and Davoust had no shot, Stare and Gripe are similarly doomed to being also-rans. Why? Because when the anti-Trump vote overwhelms the polls as it did in 2020, those two will be swept into history’s dustbin by the kind of margins that’ll make their MAGA heads spin.

How do I know this? Because history has an annoying propensity to repeat itself, particularly when politicians who can’t connect two brain cells are involved.

That history includes the stark reality that St. Charles Township, which encompasses the bulk of the board districts in question, went for Biden by a surprising 12 points in 2020. The remainder of those districts fall into Elgin Township which voted Democratic at a 61 percent clip. Now add the Chicago escapees who’ve turned Kane County another 2 to 4 percent Democratic since 2020, and Gripe and Stare couldn’t win even if they stole the vote.

And ain’t that the marvelous overarching irony? By primarying moderate Republicans who can win general elections, Lerario and his middle-school Warriors have generously provided the electorate with overly-conservative candidates who can’t possibly win. That means the already predominantly Democratic Kane County board will turn a much brighter Bluer.

You really can’t make this stuff up, can you?


Poor fragile little snowflakes

Since we’re talking about Kane County Republicans and vast ironies, here’s another one for you.

Delicate little darlings Lerario, county chair candidate Lance Bell, county board candidate Eric Stare, and the secret sixth grade Warrior Club are having a hissy fit over my recent criticism of their strikingly subpar efforts. And they’re whining to anyone who will listen, particularly WRMN radio.

It would seem they’ve got their Depends™ in a bunch over my continuing claim that the KC GOP couldn’t win an elementary school hall monitor election, much less anything approximating a real one.

Lance Bell

It’s as if they believe that anyone maintaining the mere thought of their imminent demise is a form of bullying. But it’s much more than a “mere thought.” It’s a simple statistical analysis that points to the most logical conclusion. Trust me, if I could single-handedly create that result, I’d do it in a heartbeat, but I’m merely displaying a keen perception of the obvious.

The amazing irony there is I’ve provided them with the best campaign advice they’ll ever get but they don’t begin to get it.

Despite three eye-witness accounts of him going off on the REPUBLICAN election judges, they’ve also taken exception to my depiction of Bell’s behavior at the Elgin Township early voting polling place. But that mountain of evidence against Bell hasn’t even begun to deter the local GOP from convincing themselves that I’m “the bully” in this case.

A good friend described that dynamic thusly; “They’re just whiny little tearful thin-skinned assholes who ironically think nothing of bullying others.”

I couldn’t have put it better myself.

They bully election judges, the county clerk’s office, the county board, sitting Republican candidates, journalists, and anyone who mildly disagrees with their stilted world view. Then they run home crying to mommy whenever they get a taste of their own medicine.

My god! Lerario bragged on the radio about showing up at specific voters’ doors demanding an explanation of who voted and how they voted. Had he similarly shown up at casa del Ward, after paying a lengthy visit to the ER, he would have been arrested for voter intimidation.

Those jackasses are so terrified of me, that despite former KC deputy chairman Jeff Meyer’s assurances that I’d be respectful and listen to what they have to say, even after reaching out to him they refuse to call me.

Why? Because the delicate little dewdrops can’t bear the thought of being challenged for just five seconds.

To make the point that it’s really all about elections, my plan is to reach out to KC Democratic chairman Mark Guethle this afternoon to continue our discussions on how to ensure that no countywide Republicans wins the general (with the exception of the state’s attorney candidate). That includes the two current incumbents and any GOP county board candidate in a balanced district.

I may not have many skills – my readers tell me this – but I do know how to win an election. Just keep poking the bear fellas!


Where’s “Waldo” Lauzen?

Chris Lauzen

My English grandfather’s specialty was creating all sorts of family chaos and then sitting back and watching the festivities as if he had absolutely nothing to do with it. Then he’d get irate if you blamed him for instigating the whole mess. And that, my friends, sums up Kane County treasurer Chris Lauzen in a nutshell.

In his blinder-borne multi-decade effort to exact revenge upon the mildest perceived slight, Lauzen created Lerario and the Campton Hills monsters only to act like an “innocent” third grade girl when those out-of-control chickens started coming home to roost.

This is the time when he should use his rapidly waning influence to bring the local Party back in line as opposed to doing absolutely nothing but sitting on his ample ass and increasing his pension. But the sad truth is that Chris Lauzen couldn’t lead a marching band around a corner.

Shame you, sir, for being so much worse than all of the people you’ve trashed over the years. I’ll be running your opponent’s campaign in 2026.

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