Quick Hits – Let’s cancel the “Cancel Culture!”

The best comedic bit ever concocted, without exception, is Dave Chappelle’s beyond brilliant ‘Clayton Bigsby, the blind black white supremacist.’

You see, Clayton was the only blind black boy in the southern institution in which he was raised, and they decided it was best not to tell him, so he’d fit in. Years later, he becomes a leader in the white supremacy movement, writing books and generally appearing in a sheet and hood so no one knew the truth.

But he finally decided to take off his hood at one particular rally, and shocked by the revelation, one of his ardent admirer’s heads summarily explodes. If you haven’t seen it, you must avail yourself of the Youtube videos.

And I can’t tell you how pleased I am to announce that Barack Obama just did the same thing to those BS social justice warriors.

For the uninitiated, the ‘Cancel Culture’ is a large subset of liberals who, just like those 30s Aryan National Socialists, believe we’re engaged in a purity race. And the truly fun part of that contest is watching social justice warriors disqualify anyone who ever did anything to disappoint them.

SNL’s Michael Che just got in a heap of hot water for referring to the former Bruce Jenner as a “fella.” Joe Biden has been hammered for failing to support school busing – in the 70s, Kevin Hart lost the Oscar hosting gig due to ancient homophobic tweets, and various artists are remaking the classic song ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ because it purportedly condones date rape.

Oh, my bleepin’ lord!

But God bless that liberal icon known as former President Obama, who just made all those calamitous cancel culture heads collectively explode at an Obama Foundation summit last week.

Here’s what he said:

This idea of purity and you’re never compromised, and you’re always politically “woke” and all that stuff, you should get over that quickly.

The world is messy, there are ambiguities. People who do really good stuff have flaws. People who you are fighting may love their kids and share certain things with you. And I think the one danger I see among young people, particularly on college campuses – and this is accelerated by social media – there is this sense sometimes of, “The way of me making change is to be as judgmental as possible about other people.” And that’s enough.

If I Tweet or hashtag about how you didn’t do something right or used the wrong [pronoun] – then I can sit back and feel pretty good about myself. ‘Cause “Man you see how woke I was? I called you out!” That’s not activism. That’s not bringing about change. If all you’re doing is casting stones, you’re probably not going to get that far. That’s easy to do.

Exactly! I swear the next time I see him I’m gonna kiss that man squarely on the lips.

Cancel Culture

Though I’ve generally, but not always, been immune to this more recent variety of progressive bovine manure, this impossible-to-measure-up purity testing on the part of some sitting-in-their-mother’s-basement-on-the-computer-hot-pocket-eating-wannabe-someone liberals has got to go.

First, the folks who love to engage is this fat shaming equivalent blood sport have no right to call anyone out when they’ve never put their own necks on the line and they haven’t managed to accomplish a damn thing in their blitheringly short and relatively inconsequential lives.

And second, as I’ve been saying for quite some time, regularly beating moderates, conservatives, and even their fellow liberals over the head with what amounts to a chastity exam, not only drives them further into the conservative camp, but it completely destroys the progressive movement in the process.

It’s exactly how the Nazi’s turned on each other in 1945 when they realized the war was lost.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t question people when it’s truly necessary – I do it all the time. But I don’t go after something someone said decades ago because you can’t apply today’s morality to the 70s, 30s and the Fifteenth Century.

Throwing red paint on Christopher Columbus statues? What the bleep is that supposed to accomplish? And I have news for you, if “indigenous” people had the technological and disease immunity upper hand, they would’ve done the same damn thing. Native Americans had no problem massacring each other on a regular basis and the Aztecs sacrificed an estimated 80,400 of their compatriots, so I can’t say I’m too terribly sad to see them relegated to history’s dustbin.

Indigenous People’s Day my bony white ass!

So, here’s how it’s gonna be. I am officially and unilaterally cancelling the Cancel Culture, and all I can say is, goodbye and good riddance!

Wow! Life is getting better already!