The First Ward Report – You’re gonna get Trump reelected progressives – Part 2!

Since song lyrics were good enough for part one, let’s give it another shot!

I got God on my side
And I’m just trying to survive
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love
Fear’s a powerful thing, baby
It can turn your heart black you can trust
It’ll take your God filled soul
And fill it with devils and dust

Bruce does have a way with words, doesn’t he?

And sure enough! Just as we predicted in part one, the Daily Herald with their “We love to make matters worse” motto backed Kane County Sheriff Ron Hain into that Luau Coffee corner by forcing him to declare that his office would, indeed, enforce the Governor’s COVID-19 restrictions.

If you’re one of the ten people that still subscribe to that worthless rag, please cancel today.

Of course, my astute readers already know that, rather than slap ‘em with a $2,500 fine, the Sheriff will work with any “errant” business to ensure they’re minimally compliant with those absurd edicts.

But as bad as our calculating conservative compatriots can be, in this current COVID case, they pale in comparison to those progressive nanny-staters who always seem to know what’s best for the rest of us. And if those pandemic panic porn pandering progressives insist on further wielding their coronavirus club, particularly in the realm of school closures, they will hand Agent Orange a second term on a silver platter.

I’ll say it again! The science clearly contravenes this remote learning fad, and in fact, it doesn’t support shutdowns of any kind and the public is catching on!

Please refer to my column on Aurora University which outlined exactly how students and their professors are FAR more likely to die in accidents, or from preventable heart disease and cancer, than they are from COVID-19.

And shortly after that piece, the CDC proclaimed that a comorbidity factor contributed to 94 percent of U.S. coronavirus deaths. That means just 9,210 Americans, perished solely from the virus and the Illinois Department of Health says 86.4 percent of them were over 60.

If you need further evidence, the National Center for Biology Information recently declared that “People <65 years old have very small risks of COVID-19 death even in pandemic epicenters, and deaths for people <65 years without underlying predisposing conditions are remarkably uncommon.”

But because progressives insist upon persistently screeching “all schools must close” without any consideration for the developmental damage they’re inflicting on now-isolated children and the extra burden they’re thrusting upon parents, the 2020 tide is turning towards Republican candidates.

And the poll data I’m privy to proves it!

So what if a U of I or grade school student catches it? They’ll be asymptomatic and there’s no reason for their masked teachers – who won’t die from the disease, either – to get within 6 feet of them. If you’re still paranoid, add classroom fans to swiftly disperse any aerosols.

In this amazing Tribune piece, Notre Dame history professor Patrick Griffin put it perfectly when he said, “At Notre Dame, we see that life entails risks.” Exactly! And if you really want to spread the plague, send spiking college kids home to spread it to everyone else.

But sadly, this ain’t nearly the worst progressive effort. Since facts and history are meaningless in their world, their newest kick is to disparagingly refer to suburban white women as “Karens.”

How did that Guinness Stout commercial go? “Brilliant!”

No post-60s president has prevailed without 45 percent of suburban women, and those coveted voters have been abandoning the President in droves. That’s why Trump is courting them with his new law and order central campaign theme. But if progressives insist on alienating those necessary voters with demeaning epithets, Trump could easily turn the polling tables.

We’ve all seen the video of those all-white BLM protesters surrounding a cowering white woman trying to eat at a Washington D.C. sidewalk café as they vociferously insist she raise her fist in “solidarity” with their cause. Who do you think that woman is gonna vote for now?

Throw in a healthy dose of pointlessly violent protests and Trump just might pull victory from the jaws of defeat. Don’t even get me started on the worthless Cancel Culture.

This was the point at which I was going to ask progressive to grow up and back off, but then I suddenly realized they actually want Trump to win. Without him, they’re nothing! Without a foil to rail against, those extreme left loons have virtually no voice and even less power. Their self-righteous proclamations, woke pronouncements, and pandemic proclamations would simply fall on deaf ears.

Since they’ve never had more political power than they do now, they love Trump’s existence, and they’re dead set on getting him reelected.

So, please let me reassure my fellow suburban voters that the sane liberals like myself far outnumber those foaming-at-the-mouth progressives. We believe in being inclusive. We understand that some Americans need a leg up, but their success or failure is ultimately up to them. We want our schools to succeed, but we also know that money doesn’t solve every problem. We don’t mind paying taxes, but we do mind the government persistently reaching into our pocket.

We believe everyone has a right to pursue their happiness, but that right ends at the tip of the next person’s nose. We’ve been fighting for an end to discrimination, but we know destroying property makes it worse and not better. We’re not coming for your guns, but no one needs an assault rifle, either.

We believe in the American dream, but we might take a different route to get there.

When you cast your ballot in November, please consider those words and not the insipid howling of a fringe political group who will inevitably fade just as quickly as Donald Trump will.

One thought on “The First Ward Report – You’re gonna get Trump reelected progressives – Part 2!

  1. I would raise my fists, but I would have one finger sticking out of each one.

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