Since I managed to get a bit more of ‘The Diary of a Curmudgeon’ done yesterday evening, surprisingly, I’m feeling somewhat motivated to write on a bleak February Midwest morning. So, since I’ve already done four of ‘em this week, let’s just go with a fifth Quick Hits. But don’t get used to it you bleeps!
Here we go!
As a result of Tuesday’s Quick Hits on how 14th District GOP Congressional candidate Catalina Lauf didn’t know what the ERA (Equal Rights Amendment) was when questioned at a candidate forum, y’all made my day with the across-the-board hilarious responses.
Republicans did their damndest to defend Lauf claiming I should give her a break because she’s “only 26 years old” and hasn’t had time to catch up on such things. Of course, these are the same m***********s who went into complete conniptions over Barack Obama wearing “mom” jeans, so no breaks will be administered here!
It’s very simple! I don’t care how old you are, if you don’t know what the ERA is, DON’T run for Congress.
Other conservatives tried to tell me her beyond bad response was immaterial because the ERA is dead. Odd, I thought! Didn’t the formerly red state of Virginia just pass that Amendment to great fanfare? Had Ms. Lauf simply availed herself of a flippin’ newspaper, she would’ve been well aware of that possibility.
Of course, I’m assuming she can read.
But the best responses came from Hispanic readers who insisted I was terrified of minority candidates, and it was great to see an upstanding Latina like Ms. Lauf run. But when I explained that she’s a full Monty Trumper, that shut ‘em up faster than a celebrity unexpectedly walking into an elevator with Ricky Gervais.
But the best reply came from my revered Facebook friend and Hispanic activist Roberto Sepulveda. After snarkily posting that column on his timeline with the header, “Roberto! Here’s another Hispanic candidate for you. But this one’s been listening to too many white people!” he responded, “I don’t know you and stop spamming my timeline!”
And I’m still laughing!
But seriously folks, this is exactly what the predominantly old white male Republican Party just loves to do!
Ms. Lauf was plucked from utter obscurity as an entry level Uber employee by a “patron” who clearly was enamored of her for all the obvious “reasons.” And in an effort to secure her “admiration,” he had Donald Trump appoint her as a Special Advisor to the Department of Commerce.
And we all know exactly what Donald Trump sees in women, don’t we? No 26-year-old on this vast planet has nearly enough job or life experience to become a national economic advisor. Why not just appoint Kylie Jenner to the post?
Put more simply, in an effort to make the rest of us believe they really do love brown people, Republicans ferret out female trophy candidates who somehow buy into their misogynist and bigoted world view while lacking the intelligence that would make them difficult to control.
I almost feel sorry for Ms. Lauf! Who wouldn’t enjoy this kind of rapt political attention at such a ripe young age? But not only are pregnancy and gravity quite unkind to women, it can be beyond earth shattering to suddenly wake up in your mid 40s only to discover you’ve mistaken a tailwind for talent all along.
And I say “almost sorry” because when you read Lauf’s website bio, it’s even more fictitious than ‘American Dirt.’ Holy Crap! I thought I could frame a message, but whoever put those two paragraphs together just schooled me in the art of spin.
Lauf claims that, after receiving her “Associate’s Degree,” “she completed her bachelor’s degree in only two years.” Ummm…after you’ve graduated from a community college, unless you’re kinda slow, it only takes two years to finish your bachelor’s degree!
The she “jump-started her career by working in both the non-profit space and the private sector in Chicago and throughout the Midwest.” Translated, she was an unpaid intern for a variety of Illinois companies.
But here’s the best part! “She went on to work for Uber, focusing on community engagement initiatives, strategic partnerships, and her favorite — connecting with the driver community. She engaged with corporate leaders from different industries, sharpened her business acumen, and honed her leadership skills.”
No, she didn’t! This is a vast fiction worthy of a Trump tweet! Again, she was an entry level Uber marketing rep who primarily dealt with her boss and no one else. And Republicans have the nerve to go after 14th District incumbent Lauren Underwood for not being a “real” nurse?
Didn’t Uber lose $1.1 billion last quarter? So much for Lauf’s “engaging corporate leaders from different industries!”
Since conservatives just love to attack Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez on the slimmest of pretenses, and recent Medal of Freedom winner Rush Limbaugh once said “Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society,” I’m no longer feeling the need to hold back!
The plain truth is, Catalina Lauf is nothing more than a political bimbo.
I certainly give the young woman a boatload of credit for earning a degree and putting herself politically out there, but more than one GOP observer told me her recent candidate forum responses were “always a bit off. ” Another high-ranking Collar County Republican regular said, “While we welcome all enthusiastic minority candidates into the party, Congress is not an entry level job.”
Republicans! Could it be possibly be any clearer that your general acceptance of Lauf’s baseless candidacy makes you nothing more than rank hypocrites? And if you give me any crap about this eminently true statement, I’ll be more than happy to give it right back to you!
Lastly, I also have to give Lauf vast credit for being the only candidate who’s ever made Jim Oberweis look good by comparison. I didn’t think that was possible!