I apologize for my tardiness, but in the pantheon of slouching towards my 61st birthday, I spent 1.5 hours at the Doc’s today only to discover that falling arches are causing me great foot pain. Apparently, years of going barefoot have finally caught up with me. I’m ordering the orthotics now!
But I digress, here’s Quick Hits:
Gimme a dolla!
If you have to beg for a Facebook dollar to meet the Democratic National Committee’s 130,000 unique donor September debate qualifier minimum, that doesn’t make you a presidential candidate, it makes you just another overly aggressive panhandler.
Why, Ms. Gillibrand is so desperate, she’s resorted to giving away a free t-shirt with every dollar donation. That’s sounds a lot more like a radio promotion than a campaign for the highest office in the land. You’d think some of these folks would have a little more self-respect.
On the other hand, if you need something to wash your Prius, it might be worth your while.
My good friend Paul Stukel managed to convince me that, after a couple of debates, this absurd Democratic field would winnow itself down by financial attrition. But with only Hickenlooper, Swalwell, and Steyer dropping out, Paul clearly underestimated the Democratic capacity to create castles in the sky and then move right into them.
Isn’t that the definition of psychosis? Where’s Nurse Ratched when you really need her?
So, since I’m truly tired of seeing all a your not-so-gleaming visages on FB, I’m unilaterally declaring the following candidates to be out of the race:
Buttigieg 5.2 percent
And the fact that Gillibrand, Bennett, de Blasio, Bullock, Delaney, Inslee, Messam, Moulton, Ryan, and Sestak don’t even register in the polls evinces a complete lack of any capacity to cope with reality.
Those welcome exits would just leave Biden, Sanders, Warren, and Harris – a much more manageable field.
Now, I thought, how difficult could it possibly be to hit 2 percent in the polls and con 130,000 American nitwits into coughing up a dollar. But perhaps the DNC was onto something, because right now, only nine contenders are gonna make that September cut.
So, please kindly refrain from giving a dollar to candidates who have absolutely no shot. This ridiculous gaggle only serves to make Donald Trump look semi-reasonable and that’s the last thing this country needs.
Barack Obama wasn’t liberal enough?
Yes! That was one of Corey Booker’s most recent debate declarations and the rest of e’m immediately piled on as they attacked Joe Biden for the Obama administration’s record illegal immigrant deportation rate.
Oh, holy mother of Pearl Jam!
I’ll say it again! Yes! That’s exactly how you get that Iowa farmer who’s looking down a double-barreled Trump trade war and that West Virginia coal miner who finally realizes he lied to him to vote Democratic.
But then, Uncle Joe, the only one who can beat Trump, just had to resort to into his well-worn propensity to make it up as he goes along. First, he said “poor kids are just as bright and talented as white kids” which is kind of like saying some of my best friends are black. Then he topped that off by claiming, as VP, he visited with survivors of the 2018 Parkland shooting.
I’m sure I don’t have to explain the problem with that timing.
To make matters so much worse, in light of all the Jeffrey Esptein revelations and his sudden jail “suicide,” after having forgiven him, Democrats have decided to start re-attacking Bill Clinton’s legacy which is exactly the kind of thing you want to do right before a huge presidential election.
I said it before Bill Maher did! All the Democrats have to do is prove they’re saner than a man who lies with alarming frequency while giving himself fictitious awards and 2020 will be theirs.
But no! They can’t even handle an eminently simple task like that. No wonder the Democratic party symbol is a jackass.
Apparently, the Elgin Dems are trying to catch up to their Aurora brethren
If you thought the local Dems were somehow immune to their federal counterparts’ regular flights of fancy, you would be sadly mistaken. And the best proof of this theory is that Kane County Board member Penny Wegman is seriously considering a run for county auditor.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Ms. Wegman’s current gig as a student loan officer, but call me crazy, I’d kinda like someone with an accounting degree to be going over those books. Being auditor doesn’t require a stellar personality or a great deal of political perspicuity, but beyond the roll call, I’ve never heard Ms. Wegman say the kind of board meeting word that would inspire a minimal amount of confidence.
Not only does she come from a staunch Republican family, which makes her sudden Democratic affiliation beyond disingenuous, but until I chided her for it, her board meeting attire made her look a lot like someone who actually would ask you for a dollar on the street.
Current Auditor Terry Hunt’s open support of Donald Trump greatly disappoints me, but even if he wore a Nazi officer’s uniform to work every day, that wouldn’t be enough to get me to vote for Ms. Wegman. He is an excellent Auditor.
But make no mistake, Wegman running for Auditor and Board member Theresa Barriero running for Circuit Clerk is a clear sign that those Republican chickens are coming home to roost. Forget about denouncing the President, as Republicans should’ve done long ago, but their outright or implicit support of him is going to cost them dearly in 2020.
Those suddenly emboldened Kane County Dems watched pathological liar Mike Noland beat Tom Hartwell in a 2018 judicial race while Board member Mo Iqbal, a perennial candidate who’s had just one good idea in his entire life, beat Kurt Kojzarek. Since the anti-Trump backlash will be even more pronounced next year, the Dems think they can win anything.
Could Circuit Clerk Tom Hartwell and Hunt lose? Not if they apply their more than reasonable campaign skills. But instead of having no challenger, they’re both about to face off against challengers who’ve actually won a race or two. And that means knocking on more than 10,000 doors and spending at least 50 grand on a campaign to keep a $100,000 a year job.
Since neither one is capable of raising that kind of cash, it makes this a very expensive lesson.