When we last left off, we were discussing how we have the power to vote Judge John Dalton out of office and, given his generally miserable comportment, it’s time to do just that.
But, believe it or not, there’s another 16th Circuit possibility that’s even worse than having to endure Dalton’s regular cruelty and bigotry. And that scary scenario involves former Elgin State Senator Michael Noland running for retired Judge David Akemann’s seat.
To give you some idea of how horrifying that prospect is, a number of prominent Elgin Democrats sent me plaintive emails me pleading, “Please don’t let Mike Noland be elected judge.”
It would seem his own party is utterly embarrassed by the man.
Trust me, I wish I had the kind of power to ensure our failed State Senator would simply fade into oblivion. But since I don’t possess that level of omniscience, the best I can do is remind you all of what a despicable human being Mike Noland really is.
Please note that I rarely apply the “despicable” adjective because most politicians do manage to have some redeeming qualities. But when it comes to Mike Noland, that word is entirely accurate. Let’s review the former state senator’s abysmal track record:
1. He got thrown out of a polling place by the Carpentersville police. That’s right, he became so obnoxious over some perceived slight that the election judges asked him to leave. When he refused to comply, the C’ville police had to remove him.
2. He was stopped for speeding while driving on a no-insurance citation. Apparently, that pesky auto insurance statute only applies to rabble like you and me. You’d think an attorney would know the law, too!
3. He was fired from the Kane County Public Defender’s office for incompetence. And that’s a truly astounding accomplishment. In 12 years of covering Kane County, I’ve never heard of another PD getting fired.
4. He got caught plagiarizing a JFK speech on the Senate floor. This one is my all-time favorite! Delivering a famous Kennedy speech word-for-word and somehow believing he’d get away with it in a room full of politicians is beyond the pale.
5. He sued Springfield for back pay after making a big deal out of forgoing that pay. Yep! You read that right! Noland waxed poetically about letting that salary go during the budget stalemate, but as soon as he lost his Congressional race, he sued the state. Even the Tribune made hellacious fun of him for that bizarre move.
6. He got caught stealing his opponent’s yard signs on video – twice! Apparently, Mr. Noland doesn’t understand you’re supposed to have your lackeys steal opponents’ signs. And to have it all on video is beyond hilarious.
So, as you might imagine, his legal peers don’t consider him to be judicial material. Here are their ratings as compiled by the Illinois State Bar Association on a scale of 1 to 100:
- 19.78 – Meets the requirement of the office – That’s about right
- 44.09 – Integrity – That’s way too high!
- 42.05 – Impartiality
- 15.96 – Legal ability – This one’s dead on
- 56.32 – Temperament – That’s too high
- 32.53 – Court management
Those are the worst ISBA judicial ratings I’ve ever seen. Think about it! His fellow attorneys rate his legal skills at just 16 percent! You really have to make an effort to be incompetent to be ranked that low.
So, just as his fellow Democrats pleaded with me, I’m gonna plead with you, dear reader. Please, please, please vote Tom Hartwell for 16th Circuit judge. Kane County can’t afford another terrible man in black. Mike Noland should be appearing in front of judge in handcuffs, not trying to be one!