Yesterday, an astute Republican friend proposed a Quick Hits Kavanaugh hearing theory upon which we completely concurred. And thus, a column is born! But before we go there, let’s have a little fun with some semi-random thoughts on those incredibly fascinating proceedings.
1. It’s bleepin’ hilarious to watch those obstructionist Republican Congressmen go nuts when the tactics they employed against Barack Obama are turned on them. Poor snowflakes! If you look up the word “hypocrite” in the dictionary, you’ll see Lindsay Graham’s picture right next to it.
2. Though I think it’s time to fight fire with fire, it’s disheartening to watch the Democrats sink to that slimy GOP level. I keep trying to tell folks not to become what they loathe, but no one listens to me.
3. There is no longer any doubt that Brett Kavanaugh assaulted Christine Ford. He truly is a piece of human excrement.
4. Had a male Democratic Supreme Court nominee dared burst into tears at a hearing, Fox New would’ve had a field day with it.
Meanwhile, my savvy friend’s insight was, in bringing Ford’s utterly credible story forward, California Senator Dianne Feinstein put the Republicans in an utterly untenable position. If they confirm Kavanaugh, they lose. And if they don’t confirm Kavanaugh, they lose. It’s a brilliant stratagem by which the GOP will eventually be hoist by their own petard.
As to the former, it starts with the fact that I’ve never seen female voters so angry. It’s actually quite terrifying! Considering all the bleep this particular group of misogynistic Republicans are trying to pull, it’s beyond justified, but that force is so powerful, I’m starting to feel guilty simply for being born male.
Please let me make it perfectly that I’ve never even considered sexually assaulting any woman ever!
So, while I’ve correctly predicted the blue wave’s death, the pink wave is alive and well and about to wreak heretofore unseen havoc on Republican electoral hopes for years to come. Should the Republican be foolish enough to confirm Kavanaugh:
- They will lose the house and senate in the mid-terms rendering Trump utterly impotent.
- The fallout will be so horrific that even local incumbent Republicans will have a hard time holding onto seats in normally safe districts like Kane and DuPage Counties.
- Starting in 2020, the presidency and congress will become wholly Democratic for at least a decade. The Dem takeover after the Great Recession will pale in comparison.
- A record number of very liberal female legislators will be elected in 2020 and beyond.
It’s simply a matter of numbers. When there are more women on this planet, and women vote more often than men, those not-terribly-difficult-to-make prophecies are a foregone conclusion.
Essentially, the GOP will have to sell the last shreds of their collective souls to confirm Kavanaugh, and it will be the nail in this absurd hyper-conservative movement’s coffin. I certainly hope the screen door hits ‘em in the ass on the way out, too!
If Republicans actually do the right thing, and cut Kavanaugh loose, the feminine anger will subside somewhat, but not enough to keep their majorities in both Houses. That means they’ll have to come up with a more moderate Supreme Court nominee – if the Democrats don’t hold that nomination up until 2020.
And even though that move may somewhat mitigate the electoral fallout, the Kavanaugh hearings will haunt the Republican Party for years to come. As anybody who’s ever been married will tell you, women don’t forget these kinds of betrayals.
So, Senator Feinstein! My political consultant hat is off to you for providing those GOP congressmen with the bitter taste of their own medicine. In the words of those great philosophers, Simon and Garfunkel, “Every way you look at it you lose!”
What we’re seeing through the Kavanaugh hearings, is the inevitable intolerant, un-Christian, hypocritical old white conservative male crash and burn. And not a moment too soon!