Quick Hits – May 23, 2018

It’s not another conspiracy, man!

So, reader “Anonymous for Now” posted the following blog comment:

“Not sure if you are interested, but the Glenwood School/Maxxam situation reeks of collusion and other suspicious behaviors between McMahon, Glenwood Academy Board Members and Steven Marco (supposed owner of Maxxam). Now McMahon is encouraging the Kane County Board to settle a $68 million dollar lawsuit filed by Marco/Maxxam. Any ways your investigative nature can help out would be appreciated.”

Glenwood 3.jpg

And while I certainly appreciate the acknowledgement of my superior investigative skills, there’s no need to bring them to bear here. “Collusion” and “suspicious behavior” presuppose a commonality of purpose, a modicum of intelligent thinking, and a capacity for foresight, none of which have been evident in this fascinating rehab center case.

It starts with a former Kane County Zoning Board of Appeals member calling addicts “animals” immediately after voting against the facility. That’s why he’s a former Zoning Board of Appeals member. That simple stupid act virtually ensured the rehab center’s existence.

You see, if you want to send a mayor, village manager, or county development director into a complete nervous breakdown, make fun of folks covered by the Americans With Disabilities Act at the next committee/council meeting.

Considering the lingering effects of NIMBYness, the feds take this kind of discrimination VERY seriously.

I also know for a fact the State’s Attorney’s Office warned the board that, by turning the facility down a second time, in the words of those great philosophers Molly Hatchet, they were “flirtin’ with disaster.”

But they didn’t listen.

Some of the more astute county board members went as far as warning their peers that barring addicts from Kane County without a firm legal footing would generate the kind of lawsuit that their insurance company wouldn’t completely cover.

And last, but certainly not least, the great Larry Jones and I warned y’all on the radio that any violation of the ADA and Fair Housing Act would not only result in a massive lawsuit, but that the rehab center would become a reality, regardless. That’s exactly what’s about to happen.

There’s no conspiracy here folks! In fact, it’s just the opposite. It’s simple cause and effect.

 

God! I hate liberals – part one

Oh my bleepin’ lord! The second our children, and especially young women, show any sort of creative spark, we douse that burgeoning ember faster than Caucasians can call the police on black people for barbecuing.

To wit, if you have a copy of the Oswego High School 2018 yearbook, you will note, in large type and bright red lettering, the phrase “No one ugly allowed!” adorning the competitive cheer team’s page.

It’s virtually the same thing as Cubs’ manager Joe Maddon’s famous 2016 “Try not to suck” motto.

But as you might imagine, my eternally outraged liberal compatriots immediately went into the kind of righteous conniptions that make those zealous Second Amendment advocates look like Mr. Rogers.

No one ugly

C’mon! The context for this caption is the yearbook itself. Does anyone with half a brain really believe these young women were dissing unattractive chicks? Personally, I’ve never met an ugly woman.

What these athletes clearly meant was, you have to let go of any internal darkness to be a true team player. And this kind of bonding over bold statements is exactly what high school – and all team sports – are really all about. You bring out the best in your teammates by firing each other up.

But as is par for the course, rather than tell these critics with such delicate sensibilities they have way too much time on their hands and they really need to get a life, Oswego High School principal Mike Wayne went on the local liberal apology tour:

“The headline of the article is inappropriate and should have been recognized and removed during the editing process. While the headline quotes a line in a song, and was not intended to come across as offensive, it has, and we sincerely apologize.”

Least common denominator, here we come!

A Naperville teen counselor added, “The headline, on its own, might lower girls’ confidence and self-esteem. It plays into a stereotype about cheerleaders and could affect girls who might want to try out for cheerleading.”

Really? So, now we’ve descended to the point we’re trying to protect lazy people from themselves? Here’s a thought! Read the entire page so you actually understand that line in its intended context.

And liberals have the nerve to wonder how Donald Trump got elected. Look in the mirror people!

 

God! I hate liberals – part two

In an effort to be humane, rather than subject them to the kind of poison that slowly suffocates the little pests, I purchased the kind of mousetraps that are supposed to kill them outright. I’m not sure if there’s a Planet of the Apes thing going on here, but all those traps served to do is provide peanut butter snacks for mice.

dead mice

Meanwhile, as a result all my overly compassionate thinking, utterly undeterred, the bold little vermin managed to make it upstairs where my new dog nabbed three of ‘em and they got into food on the kitchen counter.

So now, I’m going all Republican on the furry little bastards’ behinds. There are twelve separate semi-dog proof disposable poison stations scattered throughout the house and I’m not going to rest until every mouse within 20 bleepin’ miles has perished.

I suppose I’ll have to turn in my official socially liberal credentials.

2 thoughts on “Quick Hits – May 23, 2018

  1. . . Use the caramel centre of a Milkyway candy bar . . they have to tug on the caramel and WAP . . . . .

  2. Maybe I’m old, but this “No One Ugly Allowed” seems dumb at best and offensive at worst. And I don’t think Trump won because there is an excess of empathy in this country.

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