Quick Hits – March 5, 2018

Ives really is nuts!

Once again, I apologize to friend, U-46 Citizen’s Advisory Council chair, and guinea pig rescuer supreme, Lisa Hopp, for trying to convince her that, while Jeanne Ives social policies are a bit too extreme for my taste, she wasn’t nuts.

Because she clearly is.

For those of you who aren’t paying attention, Ives is the crazy conservative messiah du jour who, despite whatever her rabid and generally unreasonable fans might think, couldn’t get elected Illinois governor on her best day. But that didn’t stop her from primarying Bruce Rauner.

The most recent indicator of her special brand of political lunacy is her latest mailer, which came in a tightly sealed brown envelope.

There is but one Illinois politician who can get voters to open a sealed envelope, and that’s Kane County Chairman Chris Lauzen. But even then, only his diehard followers will reach for the letter opener. The rest will just throw it in the trash.

If you thought the envelope idea wasn’t bad enough, the 20 percent of recipients who actually opened it were confronted, not by a simple and succinct mailer, but a 40-page book. Yes! You read that correctly, dear reader – a 40-page book on just how scurrilous Bruce Rauner really is!

Apparently, Ms. Ives and her campaign team don’t understand the concept of the average American voter being the equivalent of an off-meds ADHD sixth-grader coming off a three-day sugar and videogaming binge.

A book?

Good campaign managers know the singular intent of a political mailer is to get the voter to read the candidate’s name, and perhaps two bullet points, in the 10 seconds it takes them to get from the mailbox to the recycling bin. If you manage to get them to read three bullet points, you’re way ahead of the game.

So, even my Republican friends are lamenting that kind of blatant campaign incompetence.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that Governor Rauner is doing much better. I received three anti-Ives mailers in two days, and they were all thematically identical – our Wheaton State Rep is Michael Madigan’s favorite Republican candidate.

Nobody’s buyin’ it Bruce!

Personally, I’d get rid of whatever campaign team member came up with that crackpot connection idea, because firing people is one of your few real talents. But just when you think Bruce handed the race to Ives, Jeanne sends voters a book in a calculated effort to save him from himself.

I can only imagine what it cost to print and ship that thing!

Contrary to what the Theory of General Relatively predicts, I’m starting to think gravity is somehow stronger in Illinois. How else would you explain the constant race to the bottom?

Perhaps I was unfair

Apparently, as a result of explaining why he shouldn’t be promoted to full 16th Circuit judge, I’m off Judge David and attorney Claudia Kliment’s Christmas card list. Not that I’m gonna to be losing any sleep over it.

But when a few trusted folks told me my Quick Hits’ assertion that, “He sentenced a dual felony arsonist to just 15 days because he was white,” could be misconstrued, I decided they were right.

That doesn’t mean it’s not an accurate statement, but please allow me to clarify it.

First, Judge Kliment did not technically issue that short sentence, he simply signed off on a plea deal between the prosecutor and defense attorney. That said, it is, and always has been my contention that the plea agreement should’ve been shot down because a trial would’ve been a slam dunk.

C’mon! We have marijuana dealers doing 10 to 12, so how does a dual felon, who could’ve wiped out two families in the same night, get just 15 days?

Second, I wasn’t saying Kliment’s a bigot, because I don’t believe he is. Compared to Judge John Dalton, who is a bigot, he’s Mr. Rogers. What I was trying to say was, a black or Hispanic defendant would never have gotten that same sweet deal, and Kliment knows it.

He may be a small cog in a much larger Kane County justice machine that has one set of rules for whites and another for minorities, but that in no way absolves him from his willing complicity in that dynamic. Nor do all the other county courtrooms who exhibit the same sort of bias.

So, in deference to my friends, I changed that statement to read, “He accepted a negotiated plea allowing a Caucasian dual felony arsonist to serve just 15 days, something that never would’ve happened if the perp was black or Hispanic.”

I will admit, that is much more difficult to misconstrue.

But that clarification in no way changes my previous conclusion that, due to a massive ego and a vast imperiousness, David Kliment shouldn’t be on the bench now, much less move up to a full circuit seat. He and Claudia continue to be furious with Judge Elizabeth Flood for “cutting in line” to run before it was “her turn.”

Somehow, I’m gonna finagle an invitation to the next 16th Circuit Christmas party.

The bottom line is, do we really want a judge who fervently believes he’s entitled to that position? I don’t think so! Pull a Democratic ballot and vote for Lark Cowart.

When did rescue dogs get so expensive?

With the recent passing of Eve, our 14 year-old Australian cattle dog, I’ve been combing Petfinder.com in search of another female working dog. I do love those abundantly energetic blue heelers, but a border collie or Australian Shepherd would work out just as well.

Having successfully navigated it five times, I’m no stranger to the adoption/rescue process, but I gotta tell ya, I’m shocked by some of the 2018 adoption fees

I understand I’m not going to get by for the $50 I paid for my first animal shelter dog back in the mid ‘80s, but $400 for an Australian cattle dog mix, when you can buy a purebred puppy for $500? That’s a little absurd, especially when you consider that rescue dogs can be somewhat problematic.

I also understand we don’t want these animals to go to the scientific or dogfighting people, and it can be expensive to get a stray ready for adoption, but I fear they’re pricing these eminently worthwhile dogs out of the market.

Personally, I’m good with the $200 I paid for my last three dogs, but you certainly won’t catch me shelling out $400.

If any readers or pet rescues have any thoughts on this, I’d love to hear them!