I told you it was easy!
Though I do my best to try and avoid the whole wrestling with the pig in the manure thing, I couldn’t help but argue with all the stupid people who fervently believed United Airlines was in the right for sticking to their overbooked policy guns by dragging a recalcitrant passenger off a flight.
“But it’s the rules!” all these self-righteous folks regularly shrieked! And I’m sure they come to a full stop at all those red octagons too!
But it ain’t the rules anymore!
In an effort to not only prove my patently perfect position, but to demonstrate how simple the antidote to this kind of horrifying publicity really is, United gate agents are now authorized to offer passengers up to ten grand to relinquish a seat.
I doubt if they’ll ever have to go beyond two large!
Of course, the fact that this kind of non-rocket science corporate contrition – including a full page apology in the Chicago Tribune – came weeks after the actual event, only proves that the United boycott was starting to work. Altruism had nothing to do with this 180 folks.
On the bright side, United proved that you actually can aggravate your customers to the point where they’re willing to pay more elsewhere. God bless you American consumer!
Just when you thought Illinois politicians couldn’t redefine the word “stupid”
The Illinois House just passed a bill sponsored by Chicago Democratic State Rep. Emanuel Chris Welch that would force elementary and high schools to teach cursive. To quote the great State Rep, “It’s important that tech-savvy children retain cursive writing to read historical documents, write personal notes, and sign documents.”
No it isn’t!
I’d say all this amounts to is another unfunded mandate from an old white politician who can’t let go of the past, but I can’t because Mr. Welch is black. Perhaps this is a welcome sign of some sort of new racial parity. And he somehow got 67 of his cohorts to go along with him too! (Shame on you Anna Moeller!)
Historical documents are “printed” all over the net, there’s this newfangled thing called “texting” and a Walgreen’s clerk laughed at my “signature” just yesterday.
At least I think it was my signature.
And the irony here is, it was an old white politician willing to let go of the past who made the most sense. Geneva State Rep Steve Anderson replied, “Cursive does not help develop young minds any better than printing and a legal document doesn’t need a signature but only a ‘mark.’”
And the fact that he hails from Geneva makes his accurate pronouncement even more impressive.
Can’t we just let cursive die a peaceful death like Latin, CDs, landlines, snail mail, big box retail, PDA’s, Kodachrome, Blockbuster Video, newspapers, payphones, fax machines, phonebooks and political common sense?
But Wisconsin is a special kind of stupid!
Though it utterly terrifies me to agree with my suddenly arch-conservative friend Chris Robling, I firmly believe that female impersonator, Ann Coulter, should’ve been allowed to speak at Berkeley. The best reason being, we should provide the alt-right with every possible opportunity to open their mouths and remove all doubt.
But now, in an irony so vast I can barely wrap my head around it, the Wisconsin GOP is floating a bill that would expel University of Wisconsin students who heckle speakers or disrupt a campus speech.
I’m going to pause while you take that in for a minute or two………..
Look! I’ve already divorced myself from the majority of my socially liberal brethren and sisteren, because they’re so bleepin’ annoying. But attempting to defend free speech by destroying it takes a special kind of stupid.
And how does this adhere to the GOP mantra of “less government?”
Our entire country was founded on protest, and if a student truly disrupts an event, the campus police should be able to deal with it by applying statutes already on the books. Only Republicans my friends, only Republicans!
And Wisconsinians or whatever the hell you’re supposed to call them have the nerve to refer to us as FIPs! (Look it up!)