I’m back baby!

Just when you thought opinion columnists were obsolete, I want to thank Aurora Voice Publisher Carter Crane for putting me back in print. And here’s last Thursday’s column. None of y’all better say I don’t take on liberals!

As the Aurora Turns!

I’m back expletive deleteds! And by the looks of the current mayoral race, it’s not a minute too soon. So get out your scorecards!

When we last left off, mayoral contender Linda Chapa LaVia attacked opponent Rick Guzman for a lack of City “transparency.” Of course, that’s more than a bit ironic when a Springfield statute prevents journalists from FOIAing her state rep emails.

Something about pots and kettles, right? But we’ll save that story for later because their prior kerfuffle was much more interesting.

Though Rick vehemently denies it, a source told me his campaign team helped Jose Del Bosque collect over 800 signatures to get on the ballot. That’s no small feat. The theory was, Del Bosque would force a mayoral primary and split the Hispanic vote, giving Guzman the edge.


But Houston, we have three problems!

First, nobody’s figured out how to get Hispanics to vote. Second, only Mr. Guzman’s wife and I know he’s Filipino – the unwashed masses assume he’s Latino. Third, Rick really oughtta avoid a primary because he can’t beat Chapa LaVia one-on-one.

But just when you thought it couldn’t get any sillier, Chapa LaVia challenged Del Bosque’s paperwork, because she doesn’t want a primary! What? Her team musta missed that, in a four-way race with an average turnout, 3,251 votes might be all it takes.

And any of our four mayoral contenders can pull that off.

So when they got word that Guzman’s…I mean Del Bosque’s petition circulators failed to sign the papers in the presence of a notary, Chapa Lavia pounced, and we’re back to four candidates.

Not one to take the high road, she just couldn’t help but go after Guzman for “fraud.”But instead of simply ignoring her like her husband Vern always does, Guzman swore no fraud was committed until he explained exactly how the fraud was committed.


You see, Rick’s written assertion that, “case law clearly allows petitions to be notarized without the petition passer present,” is dead wrong. And I know this because Illinois State Board of Elections Lead Counsel Ken Menzel told me so.

But wait! There’s more!

Chapa Lavia’s team, who clearly slept through Municipal Elections 101, had no idea that just one write-in candidate would also force a February primary, and now we have five! Not even Michael Madigan can “encourage” that many candidates to quit, though I’m sure he’ll try.

So we’re gonna have a primary!

Let’s add it all up! Mr. Guzman “drafts” a Latino candidate to force a primary and split the Hispanic vote, neither of which are in his best interest. To make matters so much worse, he responds to allegations only insiders understand by actually admitting a fraud was perpetrated.

Not to be outdone, Ms. Chapa LaVia eliminates that fifth candidate when a primary is in her best interest – and she unnecessarily aggravated a lot of voters in the process. Everyone but her knew a primary was inevitable, and the now angry Mr. Del Bosque has a lot of friends!

I’d like to think most of us aspire to something more than middle school. Had neither of our “frontrunners” done a damn thing, we’d be right where we are now and they’d both be far better off! Mayor of Aurora? I wouldn’t want either one of ‘em running the local Goody’s

One thought on “I’m back baby!

  1. Welcome back. Maybe you can use your investigative skills to find out if it is true that a certain county board chairman has cut a deal to be the next CFO for the city of Aurora if one of the above mentioned candidates should win.

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