In a continuing effort to prove that truth is stranger that fiction, I just beat the Daily Herald to their own material! And by “material” I mean their as yet unpublished Kane County primary candidate profiles. I thought it was a lot of fun to regularly beat them to news stories, but this is bleepin’ hilarious!
And I owe it all to a good political friend who went through a DH website back door to find one of those unpublished profiles. Then he discovered that if you added or subtract 1 to the URL address, the next profile popped up.
So without further ado, here they are!
Chairman Chris Lauzen – Straightforward, to the point, readable and focuses on achievements.
Chairman candidate Ken Shepro – Bitter, delusional, readable, and focuses on the other guy.
Auditor Terry Hunt – A little long at times, but readable, to the point, and based on his accomplishments.
Auditor candidate Craig Lee – Meandering, unreadable and proof he didn’t write that letter to the Elburn Herald editor. Craig! Have someone proofread it next time.
Coroner Rob Russell – Whiny, pedantic, and insists that he’s the consummate victim. When you have no accomplishments, fall back on being a good Christian.
Coroner candidate Bob Tiballi – Bob! Stop running an I’m not the other guy campaign and use your credentials instead.
County Board candidate Jim MacRunnells – Nothing new. He’s still an insane, inept bully who shouldn’t be serving on an elementary school student council. The Donald Trump of Kane County.
County Board candidate Drew Frasz – Intelligent, well written, and insightful, but it could have used a little pop! You shouldda called me Drew!
County Board candidate Willie Clements – Insightful, well written, brief, and to the point. Good job Willie!
County Board candidate Randy Hopp – Considering he’s completely nuts (see his Gail Borden Library Board service) he actually did a pretty good job. Jim MaCrunnells could take sanity lessons from him.
County Board Member Susan Starrett – You just get the feeling that her heart’s not in it. When you consider opponent Doug Sullivan’s vast ego, we need Susan to be reelected.
County Board candidate Penny Wegman – She did a surprisingly decent job, but when you consider her father Larry’s role in the Anna Moeller petition challenge, she can’t win a cookie!
County Board candidate Tom Armstrong – He also did a reasonable job and should start working on his acceptance speech.
County Board candidate Jarret Sanchez – Considering he’s a Longmeadow Loon, he didn’t do a bad job, but Jarret! It’s called a “comb.”
(We could not find County Board Member Joe Haimann’s or County Board candidate Doug Sullivan’s profiles.)