Forget the gold, the pot’s far more valuable

Getting back to that massive social experiment known as the State of Colorado, some of the results are in and, while the numbers don’t surprise me, conservatives continue to prove that you actually can be wrong about everything.

So much for that proverbial broken clock.

To be fair, no one doubted that legal marijuana would bring home the tax bacon, but it’s been even better than those Colorado assemblymen ever thought it would be.


In the first four months of 2014, the state has been the beneficiary of $10 million in tax revenue with another $134 million expected over the next fiscal year. That’s 50 percent more than originally projected!

What’s even more fascinating is, since pot went straight, Colorado marijuana-related arrests are in a free fall, the Denver County murder rate has plummeted by 53 percent compared to the same 2013 period, and the overall crime rate has dropped 10 percent.

What this means is, those formerly preoccupied law enforcement agencies and prosecutors are now free to apply their limited resources to the truly troublesome criminal activity. Considering what that state previously spent propping up pot laws, some folks say Colorado is saving another $60 million a year on that.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, it does! The state’s nascent marijuana industry now employs over 10,000 people who, in turn, remit 4.63 percent of those earnings right back to the state.

In fact, the fiscal situation is faring so well that Governor Hickenlooper, a once staunch legal weed opponent, has relented declaring, “While the rest of the country’s economy is slowly picking back up, we’re thriving here in Colorado.”

For once in their utterly underwhelming prognosticative lives, liberals were actually right about something on all counts. More tax revenue, less crime and an economic boom.

The problem is – also once again – conservatives, who one would think couldn’t possibly be this consistently incorrect, blew it again. They tried to warn the rest of us that this sudden legalization turn of events would turn Denver into a drug-infested “hellscape.”

And every time they get it this wrong, it reduces the cause to laughingstock status which means that the other side of the aisle gets to keep on spending my money.

So here’s some advice to my conservative compatriots! Every single state is keeping an eye on Colorado and their current success has not gone unnoticed. Now, combine that fiscal prospect with Illinois’ in-the-dumpster deficit debacle, and I guarantee you we will be following in the Centennial State’s footsteps in less than five short years.

And if my right-leaning brethren and sisteren have any grey matter left whatsoever, they will not hang their hats on another lost social cause while this State slides ever deeper into debt.

Should you doubt me, please remember I’m the who predicted that same-sex marriage would be legal in 36 states by 2015 and we’re already sitting at 28 with a full six months left to go.

For the conservative cause to succeed, those curmudgeonly folk have to stop fighting every single bleeping battle, stop criticizing every meaningless liberal move, and show a propensity for being correct at least once a year. Because the truth is, like gay marriage, legal marijuana is coming to Illinois and nobody can stop it.

4 thoughts on “Forget the gold, the pot’s far more valuable

  1. This doesn’t even count the massive savings from not incarcerating non-violent offenders for simple pot possession.

  2. Mark, You are right! And it will likely be massive!

  3. Taxes and fees on “sin” is the best way to put the state’s house in fiscal order. Is there any state that doesn’t tax alcohol? Heck, in some states the state actually runs the liquor stores! Cigarettes, taxed heavily. Gambling somewhat limited but will keep increasing. Why not marijuana? It’s still illegal to drive under the influence of anything that impairs you, including prescription meds. This next will freak some people out, but I seriously believe if the state legalized and regulated prostitution we’d be in the black in just a couple years. It’s not like we’re ever going to end it, right? So let’s regulate it with inspections, licensing, etc. and control the parts that we really don’t want (underage, health issues, streetwalkers, etc.).

  4. My silly sister a staunch republican told me marijuana would never become legal in our lifetime…and I said to her “you are wrong” some day the whole country will legalize and tax the heck out of it

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s