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May 30, 2014 / jeffnward

Holy crap! It’s Gwyneth Paltrow!

(Please accept my pre-apology for the foul language used in this post. It’s just that, when applied appropriately and used sparingly, it can be quite an effective tool.)

Normally we don’t delve into the national newsphere here because so many other folks already pursue that endless endeavor. But since this story is rife with local lessons, we’ll make an exception. And that lesson is, my fine right-wing friends have got to stop turning taking offense into an art form because Jewish mothers everywhere are getting very nervous.

They really don’t like being upstaged.  paltrow

So yes! Ironman actress Gwyneth Paltrow actually had the temerity to compare being on the business end of nasty tweets to serving in a war zone. What! An utterly self-absorbed movie star who believes her life experience is the standard by which all other lives should be measured? That almost never happens!

C’mon! This is the same woman who named her daughter after a piece of fruit. The only thing that surprised me about that is they didn’t call her “Banana.” This is the same woman who complained about the difficulties involved in being a multi-millionaire celebrity mother. Oh the hardship!

This is the same woman who coined the phrase “conscious uncoupling.” It’s fucking called breaking up! But what did you expect from her? The Gettysburg Address!

So now, by responding as if the sky just fell with a large thud, not only do conservatives grant her philosophical meanderings credence, but by also failing to consider the source, it makes them look like raving lunatics. And when you consider where they’re already sitting on that comportment bell curve, that’s no mean feat!

On occasion, I will certainly have some fun with these folks, but here’s the list of people whom I generally ignore:

  • Ann Coulter
  • Glenn Beck
  • Sean Hannity
  • Sarah Palin
  • Michelle Bachmann
  • Rush Limbaugh
  • Charles Krauthammer
  • Laura Ingraham
  • Anyone on Fox News
  • Bill Kristol
  • Michael Medved
  • Mark Levin
  • Bill O’Reilly
  • And now Gwyneth Paltrow

(Yes! There are offensive left-wing hosts as well, but their meager numbers and lack of audience render them moot.)

Half of them are entertainers trying to sell shit and the other fifty percent wouldn’t know their ass from a hole in the ground. So, other than some well-placed satire, I chose not to acknowledge their existence because if I sternly respond to any of them, it would put me right smack in the middle of the very same mud hole.

Not everything in life is an affront. Not every perceived slight requires a response. Then there’s the fact that some people just say stupid shit. Have you ever listened to Ted Nugent?

Who cares what Gwyneth Paltrow has to say – ever? I don’t!

4 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. kim / May 30 2014 10:22 am

    Hilarious! ….Oh, and I think your forgot one, Jeff………..Dick Cheney!

    • The other Jeff N / May 30 2014 10:32 am

      Agreed. He should have been top of the list.

  2. jimkoko / May 30 2014 11:48 am

    ? ? ? Makes them look like raving lunatics ? ? ? ? LOOK ??? really ? ? ? ” A R E ” ! ! !

  3. The Observer / Jun 10 2014 2:21 pm

    You forgot Hillary Clinton.

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