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November 7, 2012 / jeffnward

What is it with you women and exact change?

Now, you know I love women if for no other reason that I’m married to one and she tells me I do. But even though I’ve frequently defended the distaff side in my regular columns, you’re really starting to get on my last good nerve.

So there I am standing behind a middle-aged woman in the Hallmark Store checkout line when the clerk rings her up for $5.14. Of course, this immediately entails a Coast Guard sponsored search for the $0.14 in the nether reaches of her massive handbag – a process which requires emptying the purse, scouring the nether reaches for two dimes and carefully placing them on the counter in a perfectly symmetrical fashion. 

Having finally paid, now she decides to refill her voluminous valise item by item while standing directly in front of the counter the entire fricken time. Exasperated, I simply reached over her and completed my transaction as she refused to move an inch.

And this kind of thing happens at least once a week. It’s getting to the point where I look forward to my weekly comic book store visits because I know there won’t be any women within 50 yards of the place.

Stop it! Life ain’t a fricken CTA bus. Paying with exact change won’t get you on the fast track to heaven, but it just might get you a swift kick in the…

3 Comments

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  1. Kerri / Nov 7 2012 1:44 pm

    Wait. People still use real money? I thought coins were used to fill up that jar in your closet which is to be used to pay for your airfare to the Caribbean someday.

  2. Janelle W / Nov 7 2012 1:46 pm

    Pockets. We don’t have them. Purses get heavy and loaded down with change.

  3. Dennis C. Ryan / Nov 8 2012 3:58 pm

    This is the reason why men (MOST men, anyway) don’t carry purses.
    If two men stood in line and the first man spent more than ten seconds fumbling through his “purse”
    for change, the second man would beat him into a coma with it.

    We tolerate this with women. This is our way of proving that chivalry is not dead.

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